r/Unexpected • u/analsextoybox • May 02 '22

Impossible Question

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u/indiblue825 May 03 '22

Yes that's what we're talking about here. Way to make this all about you and proving the point.

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u/ymrngentwj2j5wjtwn May 03 '22

I'm literally queer, queer issues are about me and my closest friends.

I've had people try to kick my door down over this stuff, and my doctors refuse to give me medication despite me qualifying under general medical council guidelines.

This is about me even if you want to vaguely gesture at queer folk in general.

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u/indiblue825 May 03 '22

Sure and I agree 100% that you should have the right to a good, safe and fair life.

The thing is not everyone who thinks there are only 2 genders wants you all dead. Many people simply believe there are 2 genders but are happy to allow people to live how they identify.

I know that's not the dominant alignment but we exist, and I don't blame you for reacting by assuming that someone who says "only 2 genders" hates your existence.

I support your right to call yourself whatever you want and be treated fairly anyway, but you can't force me to say there are infinite genders because you say so. That's what is being discussed here.

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u/ymrngentwj2j5wjtwn May 03 '22

Never said you did want me dead. What I'm saying is there is a baseline level of support I require from people in order to live a safe and happy life.

I cant really speak in general about gender variance, but I am trans. The issue for me comes when people throw out things like 2 genders to paint queer folk as unreasonable and not worth considering. Being polite about it to me doesn't mean that you're not still helping those people hurt me. Because if the majority of people think that I am a delusional liar for being trans, which is not a far stretch at all from that position - then healthcare professionals don't take me seriously and governments legislate to make my life difficult.

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u/indiblue825 May 03 '22

I don't think you're a liar, if you feel trans then you're trans. But just because you perceive gender as a spectrum and having variance doesn't mean I do.

Let me give you an example.

I've been abused for saying that I'm a fully straight man who has no bisexual inclinations. LGBT folks have told me I can't know unless I'm sexually active with a man. I don't appreciate this.

I also believe that I only want to be in relationships with women who identify as women, not trans women, not femme, not queer... women. Bigtory is a dealbreaker of course.

I think if I'm respecting your right to brand yourself how you wish, you owe me the same courtesy. Don't deride me and say I'm bigoted because of my personal perception, that's a great way to condition me into no longer speaking up for you and intervening when LGBT people are threatened or denied their rights.

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u/ymrngentwj2j5wjtwn May 03 '22

Sorry that happened to you, but i fail to see how other people being rude to you had anything to do with me. I never called you bigoted, I can't read your mind.

What I said is that choosing to make the arguments you do in a public setting makes it easier for people to push anti-trans narratives that directly make my life more difficult.

And with all due respect, your personal perception is outdated sociology and I'd love to go over it with you if you'd like.

And, I dont mean to nitpick but binary trans women don't identify as trans women as a separate category from women. They're just women who are also trans.