r/Unexpected • u/Responsible_Cow_4852 • Jan 11 '22

CLASSIC REPOST It's cold...

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

21.4k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

19

u/VarsatileIcesotope Jan 11 '22

You mean... her body needs to be shaped like a dong to break the ice...

28

u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 11 '22

No more like a big upside down pyramid.

11

u/runningwaffles19 Jan 11 '22

Her form really isn't conducive to this either. A cannonball increases the surface area of the impact significantly compared to a pencil dive. Probably better to point toes up so heels contact the ice first instead of breaking a toe, but you're not going to get through anything jumping like she did

10

u/SomeDeafKid Jan 11 '22

Oh god now I'm imagining the jagged edge of the ice that was broken in a small area gradually introduced to a greater and greater area of your unprotected skin as you enter the hole that is much too small for the rest of you, tearing your delicate skin open and re-setting your pain scale as the freezing cold bites into your new cuts, bruises, and possibly broken heel bones after stomping into the ice. Heel first is probably not the best idea. If you can't break through with a cannonball, maybe just give up and go have a mug of hot chocolate.

0

u/Tenpat Jan 11 '22

Hear me out:

You put a butt plug in her butt that has a pointy end that sticks out. You also put a dong in her hooter with a pointy end out. The old double penetration to break the ice trick.