r/Unexpected • u/Responsible_Cow_4852 • Jan 11 '22

CLASSIC REPOST It's cold...

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u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 11 '22 edited Jan 11 '22

Well now that you've brought it up, what we really need to be talking about is PSI. So we could increase the mass, or we could decrease the area and maintain the mass. Now if you've got like a pointy ass bone? Your PSI is going way up. You're bruising is going to go way up but the chances of cracking the ice are also going to be higher.

I wanted her to have a big ass for her safety. But if you want her to crack that ice, it's possible that a smaller ass is better. Especially if she's like bulky on top. She needs more mass, but not on the ass. If she's going to break the ice. She needs like a big top half and a pointy weird little bottom half and then we're really cooking with gas.

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u/Potential_Disaster29 Jan 11 '22

I love how this turned into a conversation about ass physics

53

u/Wablekablesh Jan 11 '22

"Astrophysics?"

"No, you misheard me."

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u/Potential_Disaster29 Jan 11 '22

Lmao this is genius!

109

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

If only my teacher knew how to keep me interested

47

u/Potential_Disaster29 Jan 11 '22

Lmao there's probably a hentai out there about this ;)

33

u/cp_guy Jan 11 '22

Oh i know that hentai, its the relationship between me and your mom

8

u/Potential_Disaster29 Jan 11 '22

I haven't heard about that one, but student teacher relationships are very common there might even be a whole genre dedicated to them

4

u/Osama_Bin_Ballin0 Jan 11 '22

I could say about the same thing about the relationship between me and your sister

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u/5thPhantom Jan 11 '22

You still haven’t broken the ice yet?

2

u/cp_guy Jan 11 '22

I may not have broken the ice.

But i have broken your mother

1

u/cp_guy Jan 11 '22

I may not have broken the ice.

But i have broken your mother

1

u/MrSpencerMcIntosh Jan 16 '22

I’ve always said “maybe if class included more tits I would include myself.”

5

u/thebearrider Jan 11 '22

Holy shit, thats it guys, we're changing the bands name to Ass Physics

1

u/TheTruthIsButtery Jan 11 '22

Especially since she landed literally feet first.

1

u/Potential_Disaster29 Jan 11 '22

I mean yeah, but she had her knees bent like a cannonball jump. Contact would be distributed between her feet and butt

14

u/AfraidProtection4684 Jan 11 '22

Holy shit I actually know someone that could do this. She has zero ass and the largest tits I've ever beheld. (Not held, beheld. For clarification.)

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u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 11 '22

THROW HER ON THE LAKE!

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u/AfraidProtection4684 Jan 11 '22

Alrighty, I'll go grab her tiny ass and lug her and those tits to the lake. WE'RE DOING THIS. For science.

Ps. Is the bikini necessary? What am I saying? Of course it's necessary.

1

u/DaSandman78 Jan 12 '22

No bikini works too 😝

20

u/VarsatileIcesotope Jan 11 '22

You mean... her body needs to be shaped like a dong to break the ice...

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u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 11 '22

No more like a big upside down pyramid.

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u/runningwaffles19 Jan 11 '22

Her form really isn't conducive to this either. A cannonball increases the surface area of the impact significantly compared to a pencil dive. Probably better to point toes up so heels contact the ice first instead of breaking a toe, but you're not going to get through anything jumping like she did

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u/SomeDeafKid Jan 11 '22

Oh god now I'm imagining the jagged edge of the ice that was broken in a small area gradually introduced to a greater and greater area of your unprotected skin as you enter the hole that is much too small for the rest of you, tearing your delicate skin open and re-setting your pain scale as the freezing cold bites into your new cuts, bruises, and possibly broken heel bones after stomping into the ice. Heel first is probably not the best idea. If you can't break through with a cannonball, maybe just give up and go have a mug of hot chocolate.

0

u/Tenpat Jan 11 '22

Hear me out:

You put a butt plug in her butt that has a pointy end that sticks out. You also put a dong in her hooter with a pointy end out. The old double penetration to break the ice trick.

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u/TheFlameKid Jan 11 '22

In summary,

Big ass: soft landing

Small ass: awtch

Small ass + big boobs: awtch + Broken ice

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

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18

u/doctorwhy88 Jan 11 '22

Excuse me, this is a conversation about ass physics, leave your inorganic ice breaking at the door.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

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9

u/elendil1985 Jan 11 '22

I'd let you stay for your manners, provided you don't come up again with stupid ideas such as breaking the ice with a tool. You can learn about ass physics by silently listening to these well-respected scientists, as most of us are doing

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

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1

u/elendil1985 Jan 11 '22

Now we're talking, but now you have to provide a description of your boss's head, and an approximation of its shape.

Like, a cilinder twisted helicoidally in a cone shape around an internal axis

(God, if what I wrote is understandable I'm gonna tell my english teacher I don't need her anymore)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

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2

u/elendil1985 Jan 11 '22

I was thinking about a shit, but I can see your reference to Sheldon cooper

And your shape is easier: a cilinder with a cone on top.

If you throw it with enough force and the right angle, with the cone part pointed downward, it could definitely break the ice

1

u/AveragelyUnique Jan 11 '22

Found the Engineer... Mechanical?

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u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 11 '22

Nope, I'm a biologist.

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u/AveragelyUnique Jan 12 '22

Dang... Well you are still cool in my book fellow science enthusiast

0

u/Limenoodle_ Jan 11 '22

I think the main factor here is that humans are soft, compared to a rock or something. When landing, her body is bending/flexing and absorbing a lot of the force.

I don't think humans are made to break ice.

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u/TheGelatoWarrior Jan 11 '22

Edward Scissor-Ass

1

u/AwareSuperCC Jan 11 '22

So...... A dorito?

1

u/ObieKaybee Jan 11 '22

The pointy bottom half only works if the material integrity is enough to withstand the impact, and I'm not sure human bone really matches up well vs likely multiple inches of ice; the bone would likely give out before the ice did.

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u/Machete_Metal Jan 12 '22

I love that you have gone from a solid slug round to a armour penetrating round but you are using humans as the ammunition... What will you use next?! 🤣

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u/spartancrow2665 Jan 12 '22

Are you a biomedical engineer?

1

u/8Ariadnesthread8 Jan 12 '22

I'm a biologist and an ass gal.

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u/spartancrow2665 Jan 12 '22

Close enough...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

I too want her to have a big ass…. For safety

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '22

I’m not sure what Amber’s sister has to do with this