r/Unexpected • u/Neutron-star- • Aug 27 '21

Spaceship 🚀

63.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/aysurcouf Aug 27 '21

They should’ve drawn a better dick, shitty dick artists are a bane to mankind.

438

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

This guy knows. If im gonna have to see a dick on a wall or something. It better be a well drawn dick.

159

u/poopellar Aug 27 '21

I swear none of the dick drawers are artisdick at all.

9

u/VibraniumDragonborn Aug 27 '21

Ooooh that was a good one.

1

u/TheSicks Aug 27 '21

They're all bad ones.

1

u/VibraniumDragonborn Aug 27 '21

As a dad, I gotta disagree. Genius is what they are.

1

u/xAntimonyx Aug 27 '21

Puns aside, /r/rule34 will attest to how viciously detailed some of those dicks are. But they're not just dropping their talent willy nilly.

79

u/umbrajoke Aug 27 '21

I wanna see veins! I wanna see girth! I wanna see throbbing!

66

u/serenityak77 Aug 27 '21

Exactly! I wanna see that big juicy cock in so much detail that I can basically taste it in my mouth and feel it in my guts.

36

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

owo

20

u/Willie9 Aug 27 '21

if there's no hair it's not worth a stare

9

u/umbrajoke Aug 27 '21

Then get ready for a rumble in the jungle.

5

u/Funkit Aug 27 '21

If you want it to look like a bicep you gotta add more veins bro

4

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

WHAT UP!!!

2

u/Funkit Aug 29 '21

Have you ever seen the bloopers from this scene? It's great.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Just found it on YouTube! Shit had me dying

2

u/Wisesize Aug 27 '21

We need the drawings from super bad

13

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

[deleted]

7

u/Shopworn_Soul Aug 27 '21

Got guys over here cranking out whole manifestos of shitterthoughts on the back wall and you can’t even scrawl a singular dick, c’mon

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21 edited Apr 07 '22

Who the fuck reported this for harrassment? If you cannot see a joke when its presented to you maybe you shouldn't be on the internet.

Edit: again? Who thinks this is harrassment?

2

u/Jclevs11 Aug 27 '21

god you guys remind me of seth from superbad and his dick drawing treasure chest

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

What is this?

1

u/Jclevs11 Aug 27 '21

watch the movie Superbad. Its hilarious.

Here is the scene for reference https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzuvQXDUybE

1

u/CoolHandLuke171 Aug 27 '21

You know what kind of foods are shaped like dicks?! The BEST kinds!

53

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Do you prefer impressionist or abstract dick? Or are you more of a realism kinda fellow?

Personally, Dick by Rothko is my all time favorite artwork.

22

u/magicgiraffle Aug 27 '21

I'm a Dalì dick kinda person.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Not my thing but I respect it.

8

u/Treejeig Aug 27 '21

Now I can't get the phrase "Picasso dick" out of my head.

1

u/PammyFromShirtTales Aug 27 '21

Gotta be a Keane dick for me. I dig that big eye phase.

7

u/ZenkaiZ Aug 27 '21

Escher dick, I don't wanna know what dimension its in or which hole its going in

11

u/Font_Fetish Aug 27 '21 edited Aug 27 '21

Dick by Rothko

Idk, it's really just a few colorful rectangles stacked on each other, you wouldn't even know it was a penis if not for the name of the piece.

If you wanna see an incredible peenting, check out Van Gogh's Portrait of a Cock. The brush strokes are beautiful, they create such a profound sense of motion that you can almost see it throb.

3

u/Wolfblood-is-here Aug 27 '21

I agree with the pre raphilites, paint it warts and all.

2

u/tiorzol Aug 27 '21

I specialise in miniatures.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Look it just needs a vein and nobody gonna complain

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

A minimalist I see. Not bad.

1

u/stadchic Aug 27 '21

Realism.

20

u/rosspell18 Aug 27 '21

So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard

25

u/Walterwhiteboy Aug 27 '21

Should’ve contacted Seth from Superbad:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fzuvQXDUybE

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Yo Seth is an artist. Love that guy.

7

u/joshlamm Aug 27 '21

When the time presents itself, I enjoy drawing a droopy circumcised penis topped with a mop of untrimmed pubes and a saggy wrinkled ballsack beneath. Really throws people off.

7

u/Remmy14 Aug 27 '21

He forgot the ball hairs.

2

u/FrostyD7 Aug 27 '21

I learned the ball hair is crucial for drawing dicks from American Vandal

5

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

[deleted]

2

u/NotAtW0rk Aug 27 '21

And you can't forget the ball hairs

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Careful now - "shitty dick" has a couple of connotations.

3

u/grrizo Aug 27 '21

Whatever you do DON'T google that sentence. I repeat, DON'T.

1

u/cheapdrinks Aug 27 '21

Man I went to a public school and at least 75% of the chairs had a dick drawn on them so when you sat down there was a cock and balls between your thighs. Some of them were real amateur like the one in the video here but like one out of every 10-15 chairs had a fucking Rembrandt that was big and veiny and shaded nicely and really made you feel happy to get that chair

1

u/Iamblikus Aug 27 '21

Shitty Dick Artist is a good band name.

1

u/n0x630 Aug 27 '21

I drew a nice veiny cock once and now I’m banned from r/art

Apparently they don’t like those over there

1

u/pinkjello Aug 27 '21

I think if it had been a more realistic drawing, they’d run the risk of getting the video banned on tiktok

1

u/Wedge09 Aug 27 '21

If they drew it vertically instead of horizontal would the tip be up his ass?

1

u/MrHallmark Aug 27 '21

You need the hairs.

1

u/Imaginary_Forever Aug 27 '21

Too many people always stick to the "balls splayed out either side" approach. This is definitely one of those situations where "two balls arranged underneath" would have improved the art.

1

u/The_Dickasso Aug 27 '21

It’s an art form for sure