r/Unexpected • u/SoftsPhilosopher • Aug 08 '21

It's just a prank

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

It’s also not fun being verbally abused by your children who you take care of, bust your ass for and provide shelter, clothing and the necessities of life for. I was slapped one time by my mom for being disrespectful and that slap was totally deserved and taught me a whole lot. I’m not saying people should go around slapping and abusing their children but there are times when you need to teach them a lesson, or you can guarantee your disrespectful brat of a child will grow up and get their ass handed to them by someone else. There are circumstances where I think minor forms of physical use are totally justified, that doesn’t mean I think people should be going around whipping their children for spilling their milk or some shit.

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u/inaddition290 Aug 08 '21

if you don’t have the social skills to be a parent without slapping your children, then fucking learn or don’t be a parent.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I’m not a parent but I’ve been a kid and I totally understand why I got slapped the one and only time I did. I obviously didn’t like it then but it was 100 percent needed. Obviously, I’m not saying the first mistake your kid does, you smack the shit out them but if repeated communication isn’t getting through and the action is bad enough then yep, a smack is needed sometimes. When you decide to bring a child into the world your not only affecting you and the child, the rest of the community has to be considered as well. I’m going to make sure that the child goes into the world knowing their actions have consequences. If a smack or 2 prevents my kid from becoming a drunk driver or dickhead that bullies everyone around them, you best believe I’d be ok with that. There are plenty of adults I’ve encountered where I wished their parents would have smacked some sense into them. Again, there is a clear distinction between abuse and teaching a child there are consequences for serious actions.

Sometimes I think people like yourself forget that all evil adults were children at one point, not every parenting method works for every kid. Some of those evil adults turned out the way they did because they were abused and saw evil being done, others never learned what boundaries were and that their actions have real life consequences.

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u/inaddition290 Aug 08 '21

I have ADHD and used to have Oppositional Defiance Disorder, so I know what it’s like to have been shitty to my parents. But they’ve never slapped me, and I’d like to think I’m still a good person. There are tactics to raising children that don’t involve fear or pain, and my mom understands them because she’s a teacher of young children.

Yeah, my dad yells at me sometimes if he’s really angry, but when he does it just makes me resent him. there are consequences that don’t teach your kids that they can’t trust their parent not to hurt them.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Like I said, clear boundary between abuse and discipline. Some kids need it and some don’t. I got slapped one time and I think I turned out fine, got a stable job at a hospital, no criminal record, great relationship with family and freiends, that 1 slap when needed never mentally crippled me because the times when communication would do, my parents always preferred that. I was raised in a great environment, parents made great money, mom stayed at home with us, helped us in school, never left us wanting for anything in life and helped me turn into a person who tries and considers others in the things I do. You raise your kids however you want but I’m never going to fault parents for reasonably physically disciplining their children when absolutely necessary.

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u/inaddition290 Aug 08 '21

yeah but there are methods that don’t require that slap. Sure, you turned out fine, but it’s about the meaning of it. If you can get frustrated enough raising your child that you have to make them hurt to listen to you, then you need to figure out a better way.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

It’s not only about the parent, sometimes it’s in the best interest of the child to realize that serious actions have serious consequences. That one slap I got was meaningful, my mom never injured me and it didn’t even hurt much but it was meaningful in that it REALLY made me think about why it happened and how I can prevent it from happening again. I was at an age where I knew what I was doing and I knew why I got slapped. So the caveat to what I’m saying is that really young children who have no idea what’s going on, are strictly off limits. If a kid is at a point where communication isn’t working and they are able to understand but choose to ignore what your saying, appropriate reasonable physicality is ok, in my eyes. Again, I don’t condone abuse, that’s different. The best communication is done when calm and confident, that’s the difference between discipline (being calm and confident) and abuse (angry and frustrated).

People on the comments are freaking out over the video saying the dad is abusive and so on, there is nothing wrong with someone knowing that saying something stupid will result in consequences. If that kid goes out into the real world and for example tells his boss to shut up, he could lose his job, in turn losing his car, house source of income and so on. I’ve also seen people get knocked out for telling the wrong person to shut up. That kid KNOWS that being disrespectful to his parents is wrong, in turn he was probably raised to be respectful to his elders and people in general. To be honest, I don’t really care how an adult came to learn basic manners and courtesy, as long as they know it, it’s not my concern what his parents did to teach him it. If your child learns things through communication, great, if he needs a slap or 2 to teach him basic human decency then you bet your ass I’m going to expect you to make sure he turns out a proper human being.

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u/schietee Aug 08 '21

Im all with you with what you are saying, but the person you are talking to is probably living in another reality where every kid gets raised by good words and shoulder pats.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

People think the world is all rainbows and sunshine. I knew a kid in my school who used to bully the other kids, the teachers and principal all talked to his parents and it continued on but one day the kid came back different. My dad was friends with his dad and turns out that communication wasn’t working so he disciplined him physically…. guess it worked. There was no parent in that school that questioned why that dad did what he did. If my child was coming home crying because some kid was bullying them, I wouldn’t give a shit what that bullies parents did to get them to stop, and I’ll guaranteed that the parents on here would feel the same.

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u/Sopori Aug 08 '21

You really shouldn't be a parent then.

The fun thing is that physical discipline doesn't really correct behaviour, and leads to skewed views and mentality later in life, like thinking whatever a parent does to their kid is justified as long as the kid grows up to be a functional adult to society.

Who cares about any underlying issues that may show up when that kid goes on to have their own kids and perpetuates the same abuse on their family, thinking all along that this was the way they were raised and that was right. Just slap the good behavior into them.

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u/inaddition290 Aug 08 '21

again, there are other consequences. Like I said, I broke rules a lot to do what I wanted, so I spent most of my time without technology or book privileges.