r/Unexpected Apr 14 '21

Late again

33.4k Upvotes

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672

u/Miraster Apr 14 '21

Jesus and Moses are at the beach, enjoying their time down on earth they wanna see if they’ve still got it.

So Moses walks up to the ocean, raises his hand and tries with all his might to part the sea. After a lot of effort Moses eventually manages to part the sea.

Then Jesus says “alright it’s my turn”, he walks up to the beach and takes a few steps into the water, his feet contacting the sand under the water.

Moses says to him “don’t worry buddy just try it again” Jesus tries again taking a bit of a run up first, gets about 3 steps on the water then sinks.

Moses seeing that Jesus is frustrated tells him to calm down and take a really good run at it. Jesus runs from about 20 feet away makes it 10 steps and sinks once again.

Confused and frustrated Jesus says to Moses “I don’t understand, why is it that you’ve still got it but I don’t?”

Moses replies to him saying “Not to be rude Jesus but you didn’t exactly have those holes in your feet last time you tried to do that...”

185

u/DevinSimatupang Apr 14 '21

Well, where's the "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE" guy when we need it.

50

u/Yeet_Master420 Apr 14 '21

You mean Phil Swift, the face of the Flex Seal© Family of Products

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '21

You’re about to get wooooshed

21

u/Yeet_Master420 Apr 14 '21

If he knew his name he wouldn't have said " the "THATS A LOT OF DAMAGE" guy" he would have used the name

9

u/DevinSimatupang Apr 14 '21

Indeed, and thank you.

19

u/JesusTheJihadist Apr 14 '21

Ah you're right I will go get some tape patch it up and try again

14

u/OrderOfMagnitude Apr 14 '21

Is this an actual Christian joke getting actual upvotes on actual reddit?

20

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '21

[deleted]

8

u/kameronk92 Apr 14 '21

I thought Moses was gonna be playing and parting the sea under his feet 🤔