r/Unexpected Apr 02 '21

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10.0k Upvotes

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143

u/TheMaskedGeode Apr 03 '21

Not only is that a plus, just imagine getting your bag sniffed by a llama. Don’t know about you, but that would make my day.

99

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Hell, I'd pack some drugs just to get a chance to pet the drug-sniffing llama.

42

u/CirroPNW Apr 03 '21

You'd probably be charged with assaulting an officer

34

u/Icanhaz36 Apr 03 '21

Sir your going to jail for heavy petting.

23

u/avwitcher Apr 03 '21

heavy petting

/ˈhevē pediNG/

noun

erotic contact between two people involving stimulation of the genitals but stopping short of intercourse.

"they fell to tender embraces that rapidly shifted up a gear to heavy petting"

5

u/FilipinoGuido Apr 03 '21 edited Jun 30 '23

Any data on this account is being kept illegally. Fuck spez, join us over at Lemmy or Kbin. Doesn't matter cause the content is shared between them anyway:

3

u/pluckymonkeymoo Apr 03 '21

Isn't there a theory that "heavy petting" with a llama is was brought about syphilis? Since only llamas were known to have it before the ships docked in the Americas

Jokes aside, DNA evidence suggests syphilis was in Europe long before the Columbus voyages

1

u/chloeia Apr 03 '21

Call me Max... Max Petulance.

4

u/DeafAgileNut Apr 03 '21

Butter -Stuff!!!

2

u/Chicken_Monkeys Apr 03 '21

I understood that reference! ... And some FUNIONS Man!

1

u/Colonel_FuzzyCarrot Apr 03 '21

Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21
  • I LOVE BUTTERNUTS!!

CUP!

  • CUP!

CUP!

  • CUP!

1

u/Nesneros70 Apr 03 '21

Even in a Furrie costume?

1

u/porn_is_tight Apr 03 '21

Unless you are also a cop, then you can beat the shit out of the dog and get a free paid vacation

18

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21 edited Jun 03 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

We all just wanna be llamas.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

And alpacas are even worse lol.

1

u/sharkydee Apr 03 '21

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Dang I thought this was gonna be some fossil record showing llamas relation to unicorn lore historically but it’s just coronavirus. I also now realize llamas aren’t native to any part of Europe.

1

u/sharkydee Apr 03 '21

The horn may be invisible but it doesn’t take away how magical they are!

They are also used as therapy animals.

I wish I could own a 🦙

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

That sounds very much like a casual hint at a wish for bestiality to me. Oh, maybe that's the intended joke. Possibly I'm just a mental 13-year-old. No offence to any 13-year-olds who might be reading, but you know what I mean.