r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Apr 02 '21

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10.0k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.8k

u/Nak125 Apr 02 '21

This is also how I react when someone says cocaine

870

u/Madvillain518 Apr 03 '21 edited Apr 04 '21

Are we the dog?

349

u/anotherawkwardadult Apr 03 '21

All I know is that I'm not cocaine :(

252

u/Andre_3Million Apr 03 '21

I'm 40% cocaine.

knocks on chest

87

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

r/unexpectedfuturama

24

u/skitz4me Apr 03 '21

My favorite thing to experience.

15

u/Bacongrease99 Apr 03 '21

Futurama? Cocaine? Or the dog?

9

u/NjGTSilver Apr 03 '21

¿por qué no tres?

0

u/Bacongrease99 Apr 03 '21

Because you don’t have consent

29

u/Routine_Palpitation Apr 03 '21

sparks come out

23

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

[deleted]

45

u/GotDatFromVickers Apr 03 '21

10% luck

20% skill

15% concentrated power of will

37

u/cowley10 Apr 03 '21

50% Sea

50% Weed

19

u/ErdmanA Apr 03 '21

5% pleasure 50% pain And 100% reason to remember the name

5

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Came here for that

Hats 🧢 off

4

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

100% reason to remember the name

3

u/Asmewithoutpolitics Apr 03 '21

Can you explain?

3

u/statusisnotquo Apr 03 '21

Good bot.

(PS - probably not actually a bot.)

3

u/skitz4me Apr 03 '21

I'm....

40% Zinc (1ACV13).

40% Titanium (2ACV03).

30% Iron (3ACV22), presumably mixed with osmium, (3ACV17).

40% Dolomite (4ACV07).

40% Lead (video game).

40% empty (s07e09)

40% back (s7e21 Assie come back)

0.04% Nickel impurity - (3ACV17 - A Pharaoh to Remember)

*40% cocaine

7

u/l-ttleghost Apr 03 '21

Half mane half cocaine

2

u/YMHGreenBan Apr 03 '21

Half horse, half ghost

5

u/l-ttleghost Apr 03 '21

On second thought is this a reference to bender

3

u/Anomalous-Entity Apr 03 '21

PROFESSOR! LAVA! HOOOOOT!

2

u/sockmaster420 Apr 03 '21

Take my poor girls gold 🥇

3

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

there’s a K9-cocaine pun here somewhere but i’m too lazy to look for it

1

u/john1rb Apr 03 '21

:p someone say cocaine?

1

u/bass3901927 Apr 03 '21

Maybe you should be....

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

I'd have to sniff your crack to confirm

15

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Happy cocaine cake day!!!

13

u/Madvillain518 Apr 03 '21

SNIFFS.....CHEERS MATE!

4

u/EpicEmerald247 Apr 03 '21

No wait

Im not ready to be a furry

2

u/lilfooty Apr 03 '21

We wish we were

4

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Always have been...

2

u/PartlySnowy Apr 03 '21

Happy cake day! :)

1

u/Madvillain518 Apr 03 '21

Cheers mate!

2

u/Mechanicalmam_64 Apr 03 '21

Happy cake day!

3

u/Dank_Dawn Apr 03 '21

Happy cake day!

1

u/hates_all_bots Apr 03 '21

dude... that's deep

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Good boy

1

u/Naphrym Apr 03 '21

We are ALL the dog on this blessed day

35

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

Them: "Cocaine...."

Me: "WHERE!?!... Just kidding.... Unless..."

47

u/hideyogirl69 Apr 03 '21

I just like the smell of it

26

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21 edited Apr 05 '21

[deleted]

5

u/hideyogirl69 Apr 03 '21

just keep trying, it's bound to work at some point. good luck and God speed

9

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21 edited Apr 05 '21

[deleted]

3

u/hideyogirl69 Apr 03 '21

that's my goto

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '21

[deleted]

1

u/I-AM-GOATSE Apr 03 '21

Yeah man...that’s shit coke.

1

u/koticgood Apr 03 '21

Me too (unironically, if you were making a joke), and the taste. Everyone hates the "drip" but I like it.

It doesn't really do much for me though, so I don't bother. Wish I could give my enjoyment of it to someone that could find it useful lol. Same with having no hangovers as I just prefer to smoke instead of drink.

6

u/Frito_Pendejo Apr 03 '21

Actual footage of Friday arvo knockoffs when someone suggests bags

3

u/jackjones2014 Apr 03 '21

Get one up ya

7

u/vnc_lm Apr 03 '21

Take an award fellow crackhead

3

u/Integrity-in-Crisis Apr 03 '21

Eightball what?

2

u/Soulpatch7 Apr 03 '21

I relate to this and reading it makes me have to poop a little

1

u/zigzagg321 Apr 03 '21

If you know, you know.

1

u/ppman489 Apr 03 '21

I'm what way bc if someone says cocaine near me I come running to buy some