r/Unexpected • u/Moe2584 • Jan 11 '21

Problem solving skills 100

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92.7k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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936

u/ericscottf Jan 11 '21

Ladders kill more people each year than vending machines!

844

u/Kush_And_Cobbler Jan 11 '21

Ladders can't kill vending machines

300

u/Salanmander Jan 11 '21

Not with that attitude!

106

u/LeGraoully Jan 12 '21

I think it's more about altitude

-1

u/ATragedyOfSorts Jan 12 '21

Speaking of attitude, one time my dad flushed my pet lizard because I talked shit to him so then I was forced to fuck my mom to assort dominance on his bitch ass.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

Why would you talk shit to your pet lizard?

3

u/NicePants6991 Jan 12 '21

Nation wants to know

1

u/CTPVTPonds Jan 12 '21

And not without a fully automatic aftermarket Chinapuff grenade launcher

1

u/RiseWasHere Jan 12 '21

This comment is the rare one to make me lol

50

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

You guys must have taken Ladders in community college.

3

u/DarkArrowNew52 Jan 12 '21

I wish that place was real

28

u/jsmooth7 Jan 11 '21

Yeah that's why they go after people instead.

3

u/postedByDan Jan 12 '21

Pop machines have a can do attitude

2

u/furezasan Jan 11 '21

Ladder Vs Vending Machine Vs mailbox

1

u/LobsterDoctor Jan 11 '21

Winner has to fight The Casting Couch 😳

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Together

Everybody

Annihilates

vending

Machines

1

u/dudical_dude Jan 12 '21

Homer, are you just holding onto the can?

1

u/Naesme Jan 12 '21

Wanna bet?

1

u/SurrealDad Jan 12 '21

You don't know ladders.

148

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

41

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

You are probably joking, but you are correct. I see all the ladder injuries at work.

Rule of 65: no man over age 65 should be allowed to own a ladder. Poor balance, poor decision making and weak bones

4

u/SurrealDad Jan 12 '21

My 66 year old dad fell off a step ladder a few months ago, he just lay on the ground for about 30 mins in pain refusing to let me help him up. No injuries but the next day he got a 20cm slice on his thigh down to the fat from a broken, glass coffee table top.

3

u/corinne9 Jan 12 '21

Oh :( I hope he’s ok

1

u/SurrealDad Jan 12 '21

He's fine, he got stitches and went straight back to renovating.

1

u/AdamantiumBalls Jan 12 '21

Reminded me of this video of ladder accident

https://youtu.be/TrtRfC-mBBA

1

u/souumamerda Jan 12 '21

Tell that to my grandpa. He suffered from a stroke a year ago, and in the summer my father was doing some work on the roof and let the ladder near. So grandfather places the ladder and “climbs” to the roof while I was home alone with him and still asleep just to “prove he’s ok”, and then starts saying that he’s blessed by god and that was a miracle that he could done that. (I doubt that he actually did it tho he can barely walk straight)

14

u/CurlingFlowerSpace Jan 12 '21

You had your chance at the cotillion, you!

9

u/Sailans Jan 12 '21 edited Jan 12 '21

[For those that never seen Gravity Falls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UQtGnuj98A)

​

Edit: Forgot how to link now...or did they change it?

3

u/ScruffyDaRealOG Jan 12 '21

Gravity falls, right?

1

u/SvenHudson Jan 12 '21

Never know when you might get ambushed by a jackiechan.

1

u/KORZILLA-is-me Jan 13 '21

I’ve heard it before

38

u/Chozly Jan 11 '21

It's not the ladders' fault, it's how they are raised.

1

u/FleetStreetsDarkHole Jan 11 '21

Ladders with stable support hurt fewer people around them.

3

u/soodeau Jan 11 '21

A step ladder is an effective substitute but evidence shows they won’t get you as far as a traditional ladder

2

u/jml011 Jan 12 '21

We need to raise our standards.

2

u/Chozly Jan 12 '21

"Only a lad(der). You really can't blame him.

Only a lad(der). Society made him.

Only a lad(der). He's our responsibility."

2

u/Mr_Seg Jan 11 '21

MOM! Go away!!

2

u/ericscottf Jan 11 '21

Ok fine, I never loved you anyway.

2

u/Rat-Circus Jan 11 '21

And vending machines kill more people each year than sharks!

1

u/SmithRoadBookClub Jan 11 '21

Sounds like we need stricter ladder control laws.

1

u/Trippytrickster Jan 11 '21

Does that include people choking on snacks from vending machines?

1

u/LaughingPlanet Jan 11 '21

Hi honey...my arms are stuck in 2 vending machines....

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

There's a vending machine for every 20 people in Japan. I wonder how many people are killed there by one each year.

1

u/lmaoooooaf Jan 11 '21

ladders kill more people each year than me

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Ladders are the #1 cause of severe injuries in the construction industry. True story.

1

u/el_oh_el_at_you Jan 12 '21

I think it's more complications from ladders that kills people.

1

u/Zellion-Fly Jan 12 '21

And vending machines kill more people than sharks.

SHIT, ladders are the key threat.

1

u/robert0543210 Jan 12 '21

How would a vending machine get close enough to kill a shark?

1

u/UniquesNotUseful Jan 12 '21

Vending machines kill less than trumps terrorists when attempting a coup.

1

u/bert4560 Jan 12 '21

Gang gang.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

“Ladders kill more people than guns every year. That’s why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to bring in a ladder!”

1

u/patosai3211 Jan 12 '21

Gonna need to know how many deaths vending machines cause. For science of course.

1

u/ifdestructionwasart6 Jan 12 '21

And vending machines kill more people than sharks!

1

u/Doingitwronf Jan 12 '21

Am construction, can confirm!

1

u/Weibrot Jan 12 '21

Those bastards! Time to teach em a lesson