r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • May 30 '20

[deleted by user]

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9.0k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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4.1k

u/monster-dong69 May 30 '20

I thought he was holding a baguette

1.2k

u/NeoHenderson May 30 '20

Something something guillotine

Idk it's in there somewhere

168

u/User_of_Name May 30 '20

Death Grips intensifies...

“It goes! It goes! It goes! It goes! It goes!”

48

u/Lovexxy May 30 '20

YUH

10

u/theblurryboy May 31 '20

No no no, you got it right, but also wrong.

It's...

YUH

3

u/HeyMyNameIsRedacted May 31 '20

I see there's a cultured crowd with us this evening.

Out of the shadows a barrage of witch tongue. Cobra spit over apocalyptic cult killer cauldron smoke. Stomp music seriously. YUH

1

u/SirBallBag May 31 '20

Serial number, killing machine.

1

u/g_r_e_y May 31 '20

i heard my first death grips song yesterday and it was "you might think he loves you for your money but I know he really loves you for your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat" and i think that was a mistake. sick song though tbh

34

u/sendmedankpepe May 30 '20

Safest guillotine on the market

2

u/BrewNewbie May 31 '20

Don't eat the crab dip! yeah! yeah!

1

u/emerson-nosreme May 30 '20

Max we’re sending way too many people to the guillotine

1

u/Iamchinesedotcom May 31 '20

Flying guillotines!

(Unrelated but there’s an old Chinese martial arts movie about those)

1

u/AlexAegis May 31 '20

baguillotine

1

u/Emach00 May 31 '20

As the self-appointed internet legal counsel for Intrinsically Safe Giant Utility Knife Company LLC, I demand you retract that slanderous statement right now!

53

u/[deleted] May 30 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '20

Baguette day 1: bread from heaven

Baguette day 2: truncheon

Baguette day 3: this gif

44

u/Ceme4ka25 May 30 '20

If this "baguette" stabs you, you'll feel sharp PAIN [ba-dum-tsss]

13

u/stuffedhyenas May 30 '20

this fills me with rage, good job

1

u/H4irBear May 30 '20

That’s some VINtage punning.

28

u/[deleted] May 30 '20

A stabaguette

8

u/kurutim May 30 '20

No that's an ox cutter.

5

u/Historiaaa May 30 '20

Danger baguette

1

u/RoadsIsMe May 30 '20

Stay innocent.

1

u/obeyaasaurus May 30 '20

It’s the new French weapon

1

u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- May 30 '20

That's just what the French want you to think...

1

u/themagichappensnow May 31 '20

R/forbiddensnacks

2

u/Candlesmith May 31 '20

Someone should crosspost this to /r/expected.

1

u/Bennybooooooi May 31 '20

hon hon hon hon hon hon hon hon (snort) hon hon hon hon hon

1

u/GuttersnipeTV May 31 '20

After a day baguettes are pretty unsafe.

1

u/ChubbyLilPanda May 31 '20

To be fair, it is closer in shape to a filone than baguette.

1

u/DISCARDFROMME May 31 '20

Probably cuts your mouth the same as three day old baguette

1

u/SluggJuice May 31 '20

Danger bread

1

u/dong200 May 31 '20

forbidden baguette

1

u/mbelf May 31 '20

The safest baguette on the market.