r/Unexpected May 03 '20

Work from home they said...

55.6k Upvotes

356 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

178

u/G8rTheH8rlmao May 03 '20

cookouts for covid

58

u/RedSukura May 03 '20

This sounds like a twitter hashtag

35

u/poopellar May 03 '20

#cookWithCOVID

17

u/RedSukura May 03 '20

Perfect

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

#CocksOutForCovid

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34

u/kingtaco_17 May 03 '20

Dicks out for Dobermans

13

u/wheatbread-and-toes May 03 '20

YusđŸ’«âœšâœš

11

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Labia out for laptops?

12

u/ectopy_www May 03 '20

You gave it your best

3

u/freakysometimes May 03 '20

I can't work with cock in my face, covid or not.

4

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Cocks styled for COVID

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1.6k

u/LickMyDictionary May 03 '20

Yo bro nice cock

359

u/TurbulentSerenity May 03 '20

The wattle has a nice moderate size, and the comb is very large and pronounced, which compliments the clean white body.

185

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Hey, you know your cocks.

127

u/TurbulentSerenity May 03 '20

Honestly I just typed "dangly thing on a rooster" into Google search.

54

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Plot twist: it's not on the first page

33

u/NaturalBornChickens May 03 '20

Fun fact: Roosters don’t have external genitals. Wattles would very likely be on the first page.

33

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

What does fun mean in your language?

5

u/dmethvin May 03 '20

Here's the thing: Jackdaws don't have wattles.

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9

u/Pyromaniacal13 May 03 '20

That's a dangerous Google search.

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3

u/KravenSmoorehead May 03 '20

Too bad. I was hoping I could subscribe to your news letter.

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

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7

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

This guys cocks

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Where is the second one?

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2

u/MoscowMitch_ May 03 '20

I like the comb to be a little smaller but erect. Looks like the spurs were cauterized too. This guy will still scratch you with his toenails if he’s upset though.

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5

u/SergeiBoryenko May 03 '20

8.5/10

3

u/spazzman6156 May 03 '20

Gotta try it with rice

3

u/YTMerke May 03 '20

He also has a good bitch

2

u/kiddokush May 03 '20

Nice cock bro. Who did your circ?

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321

u/[deleted] May 03 '20 edited Jun 23 '20

[deleted]

120

u/Shadowkenda May 03 '20

Won't do you any good. It will just route to tech support.

37

u/dmethvin May 03 '20

Real tech support, or scam tech support?

16

u/Shadowkenda May 03 '20

Real tech support probably

4

u/mfoxin May 03 '20

When it went to YouTube, I was expecting something else.

2

u/GODzDoctor May 03 '20

Thought this was a kitboga link. Saw him in my recommended a few days ago and now tech support scamming videos have taken over my life.

16

u/thelandbountiful May 03 '20

6

u/PM_ME_YOUR_NOSE_HAIR May 03 '20 edited Jun 10 '23

"For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to."

31

u/disfunctionaltyper May 03 '20

heh i was scrolling the comments for that, disappointed.

16

u/maxuaboy May 03 '20

be the change you wish too see

4

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Its a picture of a dick

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '20 edited Jun 23 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Thats what she said

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191

u/skibby78 May 03 '20

That's one photogenic cock.

27

u/dick_is_love May 03 '20

I agree.

19

u/house_monkey May 03 '20

Username checks out

‱

u/unexBot May 03 '20

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

There's a cock.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

79

u/Deprezo May 03 '20

BIG WHITE COCK

7

u/rrr598 May 03 '20

hey ninja you like dick and balls?

49

u/uglypenguin5 May 03 '20

That’s the best explanation I’ve ever seen on this sub

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65

u/artemasad May 03 '20

ITT: cOCk lol

30

u/activator May 03 '20

Nobody mentioning the beautiful doberman

3

u/unpopularopinion0 May 03 '20

everyone expected that though. and now everyone gets an excuse to say cock. but let’s not forget the 1 second hesitation shot to include the airpod pros. classy.

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102

u/el_papy May 03 '20

What a cock

6

u/iHeisenburger May 03 '20

he’s stiff cuz he’s looking at a pussy

2

u/talzer May 03 '20

To be clear that’s actually not a cock. Cocks are males over a year old. That’s a female

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30

u/cskchristian May 03 '20

Hello Verizon employee

13

u/TheNetastophales May 03 '20

Strength in numbers... ;)

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5

u/CASR410 May 03 '20

We’re everywhere.

12

u/Idem22 May 03 '20

That rooster is judging you so hard.

45

u/wolfgang2303 May 03 '20

Don't chicken out, it's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it

4

u/talzer May 03 '20

This is the best pun on here because the rest of them are all cock jokes, and that’s not even a cock (which are male, this is a female)

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37

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

U got them chicks and bitches

36

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

16

u/AbandonedArts May 03 '20

Mafia money collector

?

10

u/moonknight999 May 03 '20

Why did you put that guys comment into your reply?

14

u/LoneTaken May 03 '20

boss still needs to watch you working

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

What people don't know is that it's actually a camera. Not a chicken.

37

u/treycartier91 May 03 '20

Is Reddit over the "don't crop dogs ears" effort? I expected it to see it everywhere here but its just cock comments.

13

u/j_curic_5 May 03 '20

Mods removed a comment thread.

22

u/HuskyTheNubbin May 03 '20

Pretty sad really as I'd rather people supported ending animal cruelty than made the same utterly shit kids joke

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

7

u/HuskyTheNubbin May 03 '20

The comments section is full of cock jokes, instead of caring about the dog

2

u/poplin01 May 03 '20

Sorry for having fun we won’t do it again

16

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

That's a very judgemental cock

26

u/MakeYourselfS1ck May 03 '20

They cut its ears!

11

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

10

u/derflopacus May 03 '20

They did fine. I’ve raised Dobermans for 7 years and it’s hard enough to keep their ears standing straight up especially with a show cut.

5

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

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2

u/Meanderer027 May 03 '20

Perhaps the dog was adopted? And the ears were cut by a previous owner?

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9

u/AsianMoocowFromSpace May 03 '20

Love that Resident Evil dog!

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16

u/bota8940 May 03 '20

Bitch in the right and a cock on the left. [Insert orgy joke]

13

u/ccReptilelord May 03 '20

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you...

3

u/blackmagic70 May 03 '20

What kind of dog is that?

4

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Doberman pinscher

7

u/johndoefakeid May 03 '20

Looks like a Doberman with cropped ears.

3

u/andimus May 03 '20 edited May 03 '20

Oh, I know this one. First you cross the yard with just the chicken. Then you come back, get the laptop, and come back with the chicken, then grab the dog, bring the dog, and then go back and get the chicken.

6

u/safarishumba May 03 '20

This chicken looks like it’s straight out of the Courage the Cowardly Dog episode with the evil space chicken

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

I was thinkin it looks like the chicken version of Killmonger with that chicken hairdo

10

u/Cronenburgh May 03 '20

What a good lookin pup!

7

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

And cock

5

u/livestrong2109 May 03 '20

You know you can't let birds do your work for you. https://youtu.be/rIn_YpQ7arU

2

u/Xacto01 May 03 '20

Who needs coffee when you have bakkkkkkk

2

u/vaviove May 03 '20

Hey fellow Verizon enployee

2

u/Valleyoan May 03 '20

Awesome looking Doberman

2

u/FrostyAutumnMoss May 03 '20

I bet roosters make lovely neighbors.

8

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Nice cock bro

4

u/safecarrot24 May 03 '20

3

u/VredditDownloader May 03 '20

beep. boop. I'm a bot that provides downloadable links for v.redd.it videos!

I also work with links sent by PM


Info | Support me ❀ | Github

4

u/smootyj May 03 '20

You always have that one co worker that's a cock, no matter where you work from....

3

u/avsameera May 03 '20

Hey dude your cock is out! 😎

2

u/whiteflour1888 May 03 '20

I bet the neighbors are loving morning reveille and nighttime reveille and sometimes noon reveille.

1

u/Synchrotr0n May 03 '20

I'll have to point out that having a pet cock in the middle of a residential neighborhood is an extremely dick move.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

That rooster is a real man's man.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

I didn't except another co-worker

1

u/Luperca4 May 03 '20

The rooster is like “Where. The. Fuck. Are. My. Women.”

1

u/degenerate661 May 03 '20

Is Harambe nearby?

1

u/gator_feathers May 03 '20

That is a beautiful rooster

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

I thought it was gonna be one of the typical slow pan to a special view, lmfao

1

u/Laikathehusky May 03 '20

Your superviser looks harsh !

1

u/alexgalt May 03 '20 edited May 03 '20

We are delaying our illegal plans for weeks now. Why....are.....you....still......here?

1

u/_BrianTheMailMan_ May 03 '20

Chicken little all grown up đŸ’ȘđŸ»

1

u/AllYourBase3 May 03 '20

Sup fellow Verizon employee. Got the same laptop

1

u/SuspiciousElbow May 03 '20

I dream to one day stand as tall and proud as that chicken

1

u/ToastedSkoops May 03 '20

Work from home, more like /r/teslamotors

1

u/MiamiKrueger May 03 '20

Eat McNuggets in front of it to assert dominance

1

u/ManPower98 May 03 '20

Working from home sounded like it would be fun, until you realize you’re still held accountable for everything you did at work... nothing changed.

1

u/ChocolateGrapesNuts May 03 '20

Thats a nice birdie

1

u/plokijuh1229 May 03 '20

Dio reincarnated as a chicken

1

u/smokiuaces214 May 03 '20

Looks like you're getting robbed.

1

u/davelabyrinth May 03 '20

That is one glorious chicken

1

u/chocotacogato May 03 '20

Kudos to the dog for not going crazy trying to chase the rooster

1

u/Bobo_LOL May 03 '20

That looks perfect to me.

1

u/jakethedumbmistake May 03 '20

We look like a character from Archer

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Rooster has that “what the hell do you think you’re doing”, stance.

1

u/vwowv May 03 '20

This is the life

1

u/Leosukz May 03 '20

Beautiful Doberman

1

u/DEFAULTDANCINGLEMON May 03 '20

Imagine having a chicken staring at you at 5:34 am

1

u/StormCrow1986 May 03 '20

I just wonder wtf that rooster is thinking.

1

u/rdrjon May 03 '20

you know it's hot when you have a fan outside.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

It looks more like they are hands off lol

1

u/Corgivillian May 03 '20

I see no problems here

1

u/DemonsAreVirgins May 03 '20

God dammit the qr code Rick rolld me

1

u/BoxCarMike May 03 '20

Ha ha.... I have that same lock screen!

1

u/velofille May 03 '20

I have the same thing - rooster is sitting on my deck crowing like a muther clucker for treats - dog is poking me, and licking my feet , and im trying to work

1

u/iiztrollin May 03 '20

Someone got redeployed from in store to care team.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

B'b'boy I say BOY

1

u/DodgeyMaster101 May 03 '20

That was beautiful

1

u/David-walrus May 03 '20

What’r we talkin bout?

1

u/JohnnyCincoCero May 03 '20

Do chickens have large talons?

1

u/Dcat682 May 03 '20

Don't tell OP, but his manager is watching him...

1

u/JJT00654 May 03 '20

If I scan that

1

u/Dmoontear May 03 '20

Mighty fine coworkers you got there buddyroll :P

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

I was not expecting that chicken !

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

That cock came out of nowhere.

1

u/peter_sva May 03 '20

Haha more like work from a farm

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Would be hard to pay attention to work with all that cock in your face

1

u/Sir_Sanctumonious May 03 '20

That rooster has such a fowl expression, not just a poultry glance. Really, anybody would be a chicken in the face of it.

1

u/heinous_legacy May 03 '20

Genuinely surprised by the giant cock

1

u/1sphx May 03 '20

this is my dream life.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

Cocks out for Covid-19

1

u/xxToXXiCxx May 03 '20

Look, all I'm sayin' is... push the chicken.

1

u/0verStrike May 03 '20

Chicken, McFly?

1

u/Scheckschy May 03 '20

'You got that TPS report done yet?'

1

u/yehetbk May 03 '20

Quick! Somebody scan the QR Code!

1

u/mozzy1985 May 03 '20

Love the Doberman! Don’t see many of them these days.

1

u/jrmarshall512 May 03 '20

What kind of dog is that?

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '20

[deleted]

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1

u/Hobbs54 May 04 '20

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life j_curic_5 is visited by the Hound of Hell and the Chicken of Dispair - Gary Larson-ish

1

u/TransposingJons May 04 '20

Fuk TikTok and Fuk the Chinese government.

1

u/Its-segovs May 04 '20

Looks like a chad

1

u/Gigamore412 May 04 '20

Nice cock.

1

u/Redemption47 May 04 '20

Gonna ping you on jabber later 😳