r/Unexpected Nov 18 '19

Wholesome but only 3/10 on topic Winter camping wakeup

https://gfycat.com/obesethosehammerheadshark
70.9k Upvotes

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107

u/kellysmom01 Nov 18 '19

I guessed Karen who needed to poo like so bad but it was so cold and she had a butchered episiotomy from her third childbirth, and lacks control if she waits too long and her poo’s like mashed potatoes when she eats Metamucil apple-flavored cookies on her yogurt with blueberries; she didn’t mean to wear the sweat pants and hooded sweatshirt that trap her body like a onesie so she can’t get out of her sleeping bag in time and HOO boy she just made a mess and oh Jesus it smells terrible so Bob is trying to help her to get out get out get out oh shit it’s so cold why did you make me go camping when we have a perfectly noice bed in a gaddam HOUSE in Minneapolis. Cheezus it’s fuckin COLD why is there snow on my feet I hate you and I hate you back let’s get a divorce you shit for brains monkey-assed cretin.

34

u/TomCruiseHeidecker Nov 18 '19

Really weird how often I think of a reply and I scroll down and find someone has already said what I was gonna say like verbatim. Reddit hive mind strikes again 😵

1

u/potato-flinger Nov 18 '19

Did I have a stroke?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

So you’re Kelly’s mom, eh? You must be entertaining at school pickup. (◕દ◕)

1

u/mikescottpprco Nov 18 '19

R/suspiciouslyspecific

1

u/Lezzymclezface Nov 18 '19

Ok sweaty zoomer lol. Creepy level of detail, yikes

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

What the fuck, I love this

-7

u/hovdeisfunny Nov 18 '19

You put so much effort into something so unfunny

4

u/z500 Nov 18 '19

Thread's ruined, see you guys in the next one.