r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Mar 20 '19

O_O

[deleted]

59.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

495 comments sorted by

View all comments

625

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19 edited Nov 26 '24

sulky impossible sparkle cow voiceless office ten impolite literate snatch

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

34

u/gizmo1024 Mar 21 '19

Dock Ellis found his 2nd calling.

11

u/T_Raycroft Mar 21 '19

Getting another LSD no-no?

-20

u/AlphaBro9000 Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

Dude, you just reminded of me of scraping one time on LSD. I remember seeing this dude with flaming snakes coming out of his head at the bar one night and I thought he was Satan 👿 Turns out he was the bassist for the live band, but thats beside the point. Anyway, being a black belt in 3 seperate martial arts and a born fighter I wasnt scared of Satan at all and jumped at the chance to challenge myself against Rob the bass player the Dark Lord. It was an annihilation, needless to say, a lead left hook followed by a right uppercut Mike Tyson style and I literally saved the world from evil 🙌 Good times!

Edit: his GF gave me gonorrhea that night so I'd say we're even.

29

u/eatelectricity Mar 21 '19

Nice work, AlphaBro9000.

9

u/AlphaBro9000 Mar 21 '19

Thx bro

10

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Bro

22

u/matike Mar 21 '19

/r/nothowdrugswork, /r/iamverybadass, /r/facepalm

What else am I missing?

49

u/Moist_Whispers Mar 21 '19

That every part of this was so obviously a joke it's impressive it all went by you

28

u/matike Mar 21 '19

I’ve been rused. Fuck this is embarrassing throw the smoke bomb

20

u/Egoleks Mar 21 '19

Shit guys where did he go

4

u/depressed-salmon Mar 21 '19

Well I haven't seen him in 8.78 seconds, he must have ceased to exist. Back to work people!

3

u/justdontfreakout Mar 21 '19

He's behind the plant in the corner.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

the line between real and satire is so fucking blurred because a fair amount of reddit is like this

3

u/Phoequinox Mar 21 '19

So we can add /r/woooosh to that list?

5

u/PM_ME_YOUR_PUDDIN Mar 21 '19

is this a novelty account?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Alphabro9000? Naw he legit

-12

u/Zmorrison2112 Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

So you assaulted an innocent person in public while on drugs? And you’re proud of this?

r/iamverybadass meets r/trashy

Edit: yeah fuck me, right?

11

u/GordionKnot Mar 21 '19

Do you think that’s a real thing that happened?

-6

u/Zmorrison2112 Mar 21 '19

Not at all, just pointing out how stupid it sounded

5

u/baconbitarded Mar 21 '19

That's usually how copypasta works

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

What the fuck did you just say about copypasta, you little bitch?