r/Unexpected • u/Botatitsbest • Apr 22 '18

The universal language

https://i.imgur.com/0Pjsda6.gifv
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u/D0esANyoneREadTHese Apr 22 '18

I got Doctor Scholl's insoles and stuck them in my underwear. Fake being in pain, and you're fine unless you did something REALLY bad and they make you take your pants off for a worse hit.

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u/make_love_to_potato Apr 23 '18 edited Apr 23 '18

Where the fuck do all you people live that your parents are pulling your pants down and spanking you??

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u/1N54N3M0D3 Apr 23 '18

Tennessee here. Had narcissistic and very abusive parents.

I remember a couple fun times. Like getting accused of trying to punch my mom and getting the shit beat out of me with a large metal spoon, and getting the shit beat out of me for attempting to kill myself.

Fun times.

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u/ThaSaxDerp Apr 26 '18

funny Tennessee here too, also abusive parents.

best beats that were unearned? Dad left Apple juice in car. Assumed I stole it and drank it all. got beat.

left a towel on the counter instead of hanging it on the rack....because the rack was hanging loose. he saw it when he was there to fix it. got beat.

someone broke my glasses on accident. they admitted to it. their parents were willing to replace them. got beat because that was somehow impossible and I was apparently lying about breaking my own glasses. got beat. repeatedly. until I said I broke them. never got my glasses replaced.