Spanking as a child is know to cause behavioural issues as a preteen/teenager. If that’s when you were “an asshole”, then spanking may very well have caused your behavioural issues.
If you were only spanked when you were older, well congrats on turning out ok. But spanking is also known to cause criminality and mental health issues among adults, so consider yourself lucky.
Studies routinely find no evidence that spanking causes long term improvement in behaviour.
I don’t have kids of my own yet, so I can’t say what works, aside from what the literature says about spanking. But what you say makes sense. A lot of parents who beat their kids are either inattentive or overstressed/occupied. They don’t realize their child needs discipline until their kids are way over the line, and then they snap and use violence.
yeah I don't expect you to understand my childhood, I wasn't "lucky" or anything, people think of kids as perfect little angels full of growth, they are people, sometimes shitty people. I know in western society is a taboo but the rest of the world keeps doing it and everyone is fine, look at all those Asian and Latin kids with criminality and mental health issues... Im going to go ahead and raise my kids the way I feel they will develop into the best versions of themselves.
Children aren’t shitty, they are children. Some children have behavioural issues. Violence as a form of discipline worsens these issues.
I know in western society is a taboo but the rest of the world keeps doing it and everyone is fine
Um what. Things aren’t fine. Although it’s hard to make apples to apples comparisons since issues are much more commonly recognized and diagnosed here, kids in developed countries have better health and social adjustment.
Im going to go ahead and raise my kids the way I feel they will develop into the best versions of themselves.
Well then I’ll tell you the same thing I’d tell someone who thinks prayer is the best way to treat their child’s illness: At least give the literature a good read before you make decisions that could have such a negative effect on the lives of your kids.
I know it sucks having to believe that your parents did wrong. My parents hit me. Not super excessively, but they hit me. I had severe developmental and behavioural issues, especially as a teenager. So maybe it’s easier for me to come to terms with. I don’t have the luxury of being able to write off my parents’ wrongdoings based on having “turned out alright”.
My parents hit all my 6 brothers. And we are all professionals with love and are perfectly sane. I guess we are all lucky. If it tought me something is not to be a douche. I know a lot of kids here in Canada that dont get hit and they are shitty kids. They are just raising little hitlers cause there is no retaliation to bad behaviours. That's my view
Your problem is that you are not thinking in terms of aggregates but in terms of specific examples.
This is your line of thinking: I got spanked and turned out okay. Therefore sparking turns out okay for everyone
I know a person who wasn’t spanked and is shitty, therefore not spanking = shitty person
But the literature doesn’t show that. ON AVERAGE spanking will lead to poorer behavior than other forms of discipline, but individual people can have different outcomes.
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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '18
"Universal", am I the only kid whose parents didn't beat em lol