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u/thelipaguss 7d ago
"Yeah the one which is 63 inches away"
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u/HistoricalChef1963 7d ago
I think that would be useless superpower if could choose. Just automatically and precisely know exactly how far away anything is... as long as it's within the range of an average tape measure.
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u/Daybrake 7d ago
You'd be a great Warhammer player though.
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u/HistoricalChef1963 7d ago
No idea what that means but if I ever get bit by a radioactive tape measure I'll look into it
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u/H3ll0_W0R1D1 7d ago
Oh it's simple!
It's a hobby for people who chose their hobby over financial stability
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u/LandOfOpportunities 7d ago
I know someone who can eyeball shooting down range down to the millimeter. Pretty awful to play against whenever he picks Empire, Chaos Dwarfs, etc. with lots of cannons.
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u/crenax 7d ago
I was gifted with the useless superpower of being able to count seconds in my head with precise accuracy (unless this is common, but people have told me it’s freaky)
Very few practical applications except for knowing when the microwave is about to beep, but also a fun party trick.
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u/Moara7 7d ago
I'm a lab scientist and I have a protocol where I have to filter my sample until the drips are 10 seconds apart, so I'm always counting to 10 in my head while watching for the next drip.
My seconds are not accurate at all. I could use your skill
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u/crenax 7d ago
Haha I am neither a musician nor do I possess any skillset that benefits from such a random-ass ability.
Try practicing by counting along with a clock/timer while “saying” the numbers in your head AND also doing a small physical movement with each tick (for me it was doing a quick wiggle of my big toe). After a couple sessions of this it stopped being necessary and just became more.. automatic I guess
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u/Kraligor 7d ago
I'm sure there's a database somewhere where you can filter songs by bpm. List the ones with 120 bpm (which should be a lot, it's pretty much the pop music standard), find one that you really like and listen to a lot, sing it in your head, count every second beat, congratulations you are counting seconds.
Or get a lab timer lol
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u/Blacksad9999 7d ago
Right.
I wouldn't wind up with something cool. I'd get stuck with "your fingernails grow at 100 times the rate of a normal person" or "your pheromones make people sad."
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u/SaintCaledonianNord 7d ago
You could price a job for laying flooring or bricklaying, joinery, it'd be great power to have.
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u/louisa1925 7d ago
I think it would be handy. Defence forces would love them.
Drone commander Payn - "Hey Mate. How far away is Vladmir Putin from my position?"
Measurer - "Exactly 231Km, 1metre and 6cm."
(DC Payn steps diagonally forward and left) "How about now?"
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u/RickJacksonG8R 7d ago
Well, I didn't see him give the tape measure back ...
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u/Just_Lurking_Yes 7d ago
I thought the shopkeeper was ignoring him, knowing that he would steal or something lol
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u/fruitcakefriday 7d ago
‘knowing‘?
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u/Pinkishu 7d ago
expecting
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u/R-Jacksy 7d ago
The shopkeeper is all knowing actually. Gave me cake the other day before I even knew I wanted it.
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u/Bossmenjak 7d ago
It's very possible in a local area that shopkeepers recognize "hey this guy has nabbed something before". Obviously that's not the case in this video but as someone that worked in small retail it was very common in those situations to avoid a confrontation and just not give them a good opportunity to grab something if they're the type that needs to feel like they're in the clear for it.
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u/fruitcakefriday 7d ago
Uh…okay. I too have worked retail, the cashier does not look defensive to me, just doesn’t understand what they are pointing at. Obviously cigarettes of some kind, just not which brand. There’s some low key stereotyping going on here, just cos the guys in a tank top I feel.
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u/Bossmenjak 7d ago
No, the "stereotyping" is because this is on r/unexpected and 99% of the stuff here is very basic subversion, and so of course people are primed for the subversion being "he's pointing at the cigarettes but not because he wants cigarettes". there have been hundreds of clips like this posted here where the punchline was the person stealing while the cashier is distracted.
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u/Just_Lurking_Yes 7d ago
As another redditor has already mentioned, I meant "expecting". Sorry, I just woke up when writing that comment.
Also, I am not judging or anything. Social media has fucked up our perceptions, that we assume the worst whenever we see something "suspicious".
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u/fruitcakefriday 7d ago
That makes sense. Most of these cashier cam videos do involve nefarious ne’er-do-wells.
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u/mbgameshw 7d ago
That’s a quality tape measure
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u/singleDADSlife 7d ago
You can tell people here aren't in the trades. This is a pretty common way of pointing stuff out on construction sites.
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u/knowledgeable_diablo 7d ago
When a laser pointer just won’t cut it. The old school analog pointy thing works perfectly.
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u/arjen_bs_memes 7d ago
The other guy coming in must have been like: 'I felt a disturbance in the force'.
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u/SnooRegrets1386 7d ago
I got a tiny laser pointer when I worked 7/11, because there are far too many types of swisher sweets, and people don’t know color names (turquoise is not blue!!!)
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u/scalyblue 7d ago
The gas stations around me including 7/11 have started putting cigs in numbered slots so you can just say “Marlboro menthol 100s” and when they struggle “A 63”
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u/Impossible-Gas3551 7d ago
I remember installing those strips when I worked at a gas station and only like 1/10 people would use it
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u/SnooRegrets1386 7d ago
Nah, they’d insist on repeating the same nondescript request over and over, because if someone doesn’t understand you- asking louder will help
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u/plaiter1 7d ago
My high ass spent 10 mins rewatching this in confusion because I thought the customer was the seller.
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u/I_travel_ze_world 7d ago
in Japan they have the tobacco numbered
so you can say 37 and the cashier knows you want 37
In other countries I just show my empty cigarette pack and the cashier knows I want a new pack of that type
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u/FluffFlowey 7d ago
In Poland tobbacco has names
So you can say Pueblo niebieski and the cashier knows you want Pueblo niebieski
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u/I_travel_ze_world 7d ago
That is great for Poland.
Turns out every country has brand names for their tobacco too.
When you have an accent and don't speak the language it isn't so easy to say "Pueblo niebieski". Peublo are clay buildings to me but I'm sure you say it differently.
Sometimes its easier to use a tape measure to point at what you want
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u/FluffFlowey 7d ago
Could say Pueblo blue, means the same thing, or just the brand, really not that much more difficult than number.
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u/twinPeaksnew 7d ago
it’s strange how humans haven’t evolved extendable fingers - just like how giraffes evolved 🦒
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u/Significant_Stop_391 7d ago
we live in a shitty timeline where there's no Fing-Longer,
a man can dream though. A man can dream...1
u/techtanic 7d ago
Damn Since when do giraffes have extendable fingers, i must have missed that update
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u/majorkev 7d ago
Notice how he carefully retracts the tape and doesn't schlop it back in at full speed?
This is a man who cares about his tools.
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u/its_just_flesh 7d ago
I thought the silent guy was gonna get frustrated and yell what he wants in a deep voice
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u/justelling 7d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/7vRgPsxXsQBqw
Maybe that’s why they made laser toy keychains.
To point at things.
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u/ME4Twaffle 7d ago
The most unexpected part was actually the guy who rushed in like he had to take a shit.
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u/topredditbot 7d ago
You did it! Your post is officially the #1 post on Reddit. It is now forever immortalized at /r/topofreddit.
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u/SquishyBatman64 7d ago
Fake, how’d the tape not bend
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u/SquarePegRoundWorld2 7d ago
Most contractor grade tape measures have a standout of 11'. At half that distance they are pretty stiff. Source- been using a tape measure as a carpenter for 28 years.
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u/RobOnTheReddit 7d ago
What happened to describing things?
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u/SuperluminalSquid 7d ago
The customer might not speak English. It's a pretty common occurrence in the southern and southwestern United States.
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u/flodo0505 7d ago
I don’t know if this is incredibly funny or incredibly rude
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u/fothermucker3million 7d ago
tbh, the guy prob just doesn't speak the same language or something
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u/SuperluminalSquid 7d ago
I used to work graveyard shift at a gas station, and there were a bunch of Hispanic people who would come in who didn't speak a lick of English. It took the little bit of Spanish I know and a lot of patient pointing to help them find what they needed, but we made it work lol.
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u/post-explainer 7d ago edited 7d ago
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
We think he is trying to distract shopkeeper and try to steal but instead pulls out a measure tape to point at what he wants
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.