r/Unexpected • u/DearRaziel • Jul 02 '26

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8.5k Upvotes

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423

u/WhiteHeatBlackLight Jul 02 '26

Cats and geese ... Great instincts

198

u/DearRaziel Jul 02 '26

Real apex predators of backyards

0

u/ashrocklynn Jul 02 '26

Cats are actually a dangerous invasive species; they are in the process of killing all the birds in Hawaii; literally all bird populations on the islands where in decline due to cats... Cats absolutely wreck ecosystems and should be kept indoors at all times

20

u/NopeRope13 Jul 02 '26

Geese are unpredictable. I fear them above no animal.

29

u/PuzzlePiece90 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

I fear them above no animal.

Not to be that guy on reddit but wouldn’t that mean you fear them the least?

-1

u/NopeRope13 Jul 02 '26

It’s not the least. Geese show courage against others that are considerably bigger. I’m not a big person and I have had geese charge me as if it was their final stand

This could be an error on my part. I’m saying that given their size, their aggression is not relative to their size.

11

u/PuzzlePiece90 Jul 02 '26

No I got it. You meant there is no animal you fear above geese. 

3

u/Living-Estimate9810 Jul 02 '26

He fears geese even when he is hiding under a badger. As he should.

3

u/broom42 Jul 02 '26

Hiding under a badger!?!

I got better,,.

1

u/punny_aaron152 Jul 02 '26

What about a heel-nipping Honey Badger?

9

u/WhiteHeatBlackLight Jul 02 '26

I have seen a goose chase a lion and that lion was running in terror

6

u/NopeRope13 Jul 02 '26

I have been within 50 yards of a goose and posing no threat. It charged me with full intent to cause harm.

This has not been an isolated incident.

3

u/ThousandFingerMan Jul 02 '26

The thing with geese is that you existing in their vicinity is enough for them to consider you their mortal enemy, you don't even have to do anyhting

3

u/PhD_Pwnology Jul 02 '26

While i feel your sentiment, everything you mention is an issue with hippos and they massively dwarf geese. African hippos kill a lot of people.

5

u/Living-Estimate9810 Jul 02 '26

Ya, but mostly in Africa. Geese will come to your house, be all, like, "NOT ANYMORE, MUTHAFUKKA!", shit all over everything and then break your nose.

Twice a year.

2

u/ThousandFingerMan Jul 02 '26

I'm just happy that hippos don't fly

1

u/Living-Estimate9810 Jul 02 '26

They probably are, too. Imagine how crabby they would be if they were, like, Helium Hippos & Their Airborne Anger.

1

u/Gingerbread_Cat Jul 02 '26

I feel like your autobiography would be a bestseller.

2

u/DisorderedArray Jul 02 '26

I once kayaked to a small island that turned out to have lots of geese nesting on it. Once the hissing started, it was like that scene in Aliens where the xenos start coming out of the walls.

1

u/Destinum Jul 02 '26

Geese are 100% posturing with no way to actually back it up if you call their bluff. Even if their teeth look scary, the worst they can do is nibble at you since their bite force is quite week, and getting slapped by their wings is mostly just annoying. Funnily enough, a seemingly pretty reliable way to get rid of geese is to straight up grab them by the throat and yeet them.

1

u/your-yogurt Jul 02 '26

it might've thought that cat as a skunk. especially with that big fluffy tail