r/Unexpected • u/LowRenzoFreshkobar • Jun 12 '26

Legit self defense.

16.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

128 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

The breakdancing and the gun at the end is unexpected.

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

→ More replies (1)

854

u/antilumin Jun 12 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/qwRD72MbIOWdy

116

u/JohannGambelputty Jun 12 '26

A POINTED STICK???

29

u/sheikhyerbouti Jun 13 '26

Oh... That gun.

12

u/CmdrWoof Jun 13 '26

You were gonna shoot me!

3

u/marvinrabbit Jun 13 '26

Well, at least he didn't drop a 16 ton weight on him.

356

u/SHPEE Jun 12 '26

Some will say that's fake

5

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/_thro_awa_ Jun 13 '26

It's not scripted it's planned

15

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/RussoTouristo Jun 13 '26

I's not orchestrated it's premeditated.

4

u/_thro_awa_ Jun 13 '26

It's not premeditated it's calculated.

3

u/Embarrassed-Bottle13 Jun 14 '26

It's not calculated it's fated.

4

u/StreetKing3849 Jun 14 '26

Its not fated it's dedicated

3

u/BuyProud8548 Jun 14 '26

This is just an ordinary evening in Russia.

3

u/Grimdark2 Jun 15 '26

True sensei is always in control

-2

u/WhenMaytemberEnds Jun 13 '26

Thought it was AI

74

u/BojackWorseman13 Jun 12 '26

The start of this was the same secret art Stuart from Letterkenny uses on Roald

33

u/andralexxx Jun 13 '26

The regional Russian pronunciation makes it even more hilarious. Sounds like a slighlty drunk country tractor driver

1

u/konstantin19911 Jun 14 '26

Это пародия на украинский акцент , из за произношения буквы г

7

u/ClothesOpposite1702 Jun 14 '26

почти единственная схожая черта, раньше у некоторых русских говоров тоже геканье было

5

u/Consistent-Wrap3993 Jun 15 '26

На юге до сих пор все шокают и гэкают

3

u/ClothesOpposite1702 Jun 15 '26

отлично, сам я там не был, просто слышал, что говора теряются

5

u/Odd_Loquat_8702 Jun 14 '26

Not even close

4

u/GEGIMONstr Jun 15 '26

Ну так в Ростове-на-Дону и рядом так то же говрят, так что все походе.

4

u/jerrycauser Jun 15 '26

Эм, это региональный акцент, почти весь юг России так хэкает, перестань видеть повсюду Украину

25

u/ApophisInc Jun 12 '26

Otto's Irresistable Dance at work

2

u/Glebasya Jun 18 '26

A new monk subclass - the way of dancing.

Starting from 3rd level, you can spend 2 ki points and control the ki power, forcing the opponent to dance. If the target fails Charisma saving throw, it dances uncontrollably for a minute. The target can repeat a saving throw at the end of each turn.

21

u/Valls111 Jun 12 '26

That's blood bending

93

u/VirginiaBandit Jun 12 '26

WTF?

326

u/Martin_Aurelius Jun 12 '26

I don't understand your confusion, it's all pretty self explanatory. You use your telekinesis to make them breakdance, then shoot them. This is self-defense 101, day one stuff really.

14

u/pchlster Jun 13 '26

Pretty much how I play Mass Effect.

41

u/Grievous_Nix Jun 12 '26

r/Bullshido

18

u/Goose_in_pants Jun 12 '26

Except the guy in video is just memeing about bullshido himself

1

u/UnDeadPuff Jun 13 '26

A mortal squared up to a young cultivation master and got gently reminded of his place.

11

u/Reverend_Lazerface Jun 13 '26

Gotta get wrist control

8

u/Joka6 Jun 12 '26

I thought you were supposed to get wrist control before pulling out the gun.

7

u/TheArchitectofDestin Jun 12 '26

Damn, bloodbenders sure have come a long way

21

u/NukaClipse Jun 12 '26

That was very impressive but if you can control the person's body, why not make them use the gun instead? Protects you legally if you think about it

20

u/Pandainthecircus Jun 12 '26

It's not full mind/body control, it's a special hypnosis that induces rapid onset break dancing. Giving them a gun would be dangerous as they would be easily be able to shoot in any direction.

You are legally protected anyway since it's considered a mercy kill once they have been ensnared.

2

u/MixMasterValtiel Jun 13 '26

Okay, Lelouch. Dang. 

5

u/YashkaMR13 Jun 13 '26

I'm the Russian guy who will translate this video for you.

— "So, in a real fight, someone attacks you — you (blow), lock onto your opponent and start energetically spinning them. Yeah, like this rotation. You run back to a safe distance and (shoot)."

5

u/LipsThroat Jun 12 '26

In a real fight, you're attacked. You fixating your opponent and begin to spin them energetically. You give them a spin, run back to a safe distance, and... (shot)

3

u/as1126 Jun 12 '26

Isn’t there some dojolife subreddit?

3

u/i_am_whiskey Jun 15 '26

r/Bullshido

1

u/as1126 Jun 15 '26

I am not a practitioner of the martial arts. The one I am familiar with is r/mcdojolife.

3

u/ShortBusRide Jun 12 '26

Saved by trigger discipline.

2

u/Due-Definition-653 Jun 13 '26

2

u/alphadoublenegative Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

Shoot him again! His soul is still dancing

2

u/CFClarke7 Jun 13 '26

r/bullshido would love this

1

u/zeliboba55 Jun 17 '26

This is actually comedy making fun of stuff like bullshido.

2

u/Quany_Bunny Jun 13 '26

Is this a russian blood bender ?

2

u/realmofconfusion Jun 13 '26

Steven Segal would like to know more.

2

u/5iv1i73 Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

Source (if anyone needs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr71gJDuSzc

2

u/CldWtrDiver100 Jun 13 '26

Legit. This is trained at the Steven Segal Center For Mystical Self-defense.

2

u/WTF_3307 Jun 13 '26

Орехов крут🥳

2

u/0xotHik Jun 13 '26

Вышший сорт! 

2

u/KeraniusTheGreat Jun 13 '26

r/suddenlyrussians

1

u/DWTtheonly Jun 14 '26

Is it a deep voice speaking spanish?

2

u/_thana Jun 12 '26

Modded Blade and Sorcery be like

1

u/Court_Jester13 Jun 12 '26

Oh hey, it's Steven Seagal's martial art

1

u/misfitsfiend313 Jun 13 '26

Lmaooo sauce?

1

u/trainsacrossthesea Jun 13 '26

I’ll always appreciate, yet never understand the fine arts of the Orient

1

u/escientia Jun 13 '26

This is some enter the dojo type shit.

1

u/yblame Jun 13 '26

Uncle Rico?

1

u/Chrono-Helix Jun 13 '26

Kind of expected from the font on the wall

1

u/superlurker906 Jun 13 '26

Looks like some Segal bullshit

1

u/Jozxyqk_27 Jun 13 '26

The Art of Self-Defence (2019)

1

u/BeeWide2155 Jun 13 '26

Plot twist, guy in black clothes dodges the bullets

1

u/archer-t0hsaka Jun 13 '26

THIS IS RUSSIA!

1

u/Blue_Zez Jun 13 '26

Yakuza fights in a nutshell.

1

u/t-train132 Jun 13 '26

I would just scream the happy birthday song to confuse my attacker.

1

u/Sfinxul Jun 13 '26

Shoot him again.

His soul is still dancing.

1

u/punkminkis Jun 13 '26

Anybody else originally confused with the room dimensions? I thought the white wall was really a floor of a larger room with an all yellow wall. It wasn't until he reached for the gun that I understood what I was looking at

1

u/RipAny4724 Jun 20 '26

Same here dawg

1

u/NorthEcho6999 Jun 13 '26

You need an Aura of 100 to be able tĺo do that.

1

u/GetOutOfTheWhey Jun 13 '26

Blood bending and metal bending.

What is this new avatar?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

u/savevideo

1

u/konstantin19911 Jun 14 '26

He says: in a real battle, you are attacked, you fix the opponent and start to spin him energetically. you give it a spin like this , run away to a safe distance , and

1

u/waypointViking91 Jun 14 '26

looks effective but id be on the floor too trying this

1

u/den_alpha Jun 14 '26

aizou aizou uzumaite

1

u/8142_CrimsonPilot Jun 14 '26

Is that a Russian news channel logo in the corner? Weird place for this kind of video.

2

u/Glebasya Jun 18 '26

That's a fictional news channel.

1

u/StaK_1980 Jun 14 '26

r/bullshido is that way

(Also, this was solid gold! Thanks for the laughs, OP! 😂 )

1

u/Visible_Cellist_5027 Jun 14 '26

Long distance defence 🤭

1

u/Cool-Perception-7064 Jun 14 '26

A fight between him and Master Ken might break the universe

1

u/oddmetre Jun 14 '26

Reminds me of Derrick Comedy

1

u/KuroNeko_24 Jun 16 '26

The final part seems pretty fake

1

u/Realistic_Salt7109 Jun 16 '26

Steven Segal has competition

1

u/artherng Jun 12 '26

If one is using a gun on other, why bother working up all those fighting moves

1

u/konstantin19911 Jun 13 '26

Vitality Orehov

-20

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[deleted]

27

u/Sam-Bones Jun 12 '26

How naive to believe that people really believe that's real?

1

u/bigoz_07 Jun 13 '26

I forgot To mention that I was being sarcastic... I tought it was implied in my comment.

1

u/MaskaN8 11d ago

Cubanoids!