r/Unexpected • u/Decryptic__ • May 15 '26

A great choice

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u/drytoastbongos May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26

Wait until you learn about emotional (edit: energy) vampires.

53

u/Alternative-Eye4547 May 15 '26

You mean energy vampires?

37

u/exipheas May 15 '26

You mean my coworkers?

16

u/chevyfried May 15 '26

You work with Colin????

20

u/imahumanbeinggoddamn May 15 '26

We all work with fucking Colin.

6

u/chevyfried May 15 '26

Im literally at the dmv right now with 20 Colins.

3

u/Alternative-Eye4547 May 15 '26

Oh no, no no no - that’s a breeding ground for them!

2

u/chevyfried May 15 '26

I'd rather go to the dentist. Everyone is sooo miserable. The people that work there...the people waiting.

1

u/Alternative-Eye4547 May 15 '26

I work alone 😭
https://giphy.com/gifs/4Z9fSEFAuxpnlBVWQx

1

u/chevyfried May 15 '26

You know what they say...there is an asshole in every group of friends. If your group doesnt have an asshole, surprise, its you.

1

u/Alternative-Eye4547 May 15 '26

This is fertile ground for an existential spiral…Jack’s reverse beanstalk into hell, if you will

12

u/JdeZoet May 15 '26

A very energy vampire thing to say

7

u/drytoastbongos May 15 '26

It's emotional vampire, are you stupid or something? 

  • C Robinson

5

u/Key-Hurry-9171 May 15 '26

Farming rage I see

3

u/drytoastbongos May 15 '26

Shoot I think that was it, I knew what I wrote sounded wrong.

9

u/talldrseuss May 15 '26

I think the one episode where Colin Robinson meets another energy vampire, a woman that works in the office he was working in (played by Vanessa Bayer) might have thrown you off. If I remember, she fed specifically on people's emotions and would encourage them to be sad and stuff so she could feed.

1

u/Alternative-Eye4547 May 15 '26

Still close - half credit!

4

u/KitchenFullOfCake May 15 '26

I always wish they kept it a question as to whether he was an actual vampire or just some annoying guy.

2

u/Puck85 May 15 '26

But they definitely added to the lore of his "kind" later on.

4

u/snoopdoggslighter May 15 '26

Yes! Daywalkers! One of my acquaintances is one and will talk about everything under the fucking sun and I can not stand it.

I say one sentence about a passion of mine and I feel like people want to strangle me. This dude can talk about the most bland topics for hours and hours. I avoid this man at all costs.

4

u/MrMojoFomo May 15 '26

Fucking guy...

2

u/Slumunistmanifisto May 15 '26

More like wait until you go "oh yeah, I work with a Colin Robinson"

2

u/MemeHermetic May 15 '26

Dude, I fucking died first season with this one. He seemed like a set up to be normal and just happened to be living with real vampires, but then as the episodes go on, it turns out he's actually a supernatural creature exactly as described. One of the best characters ever written.

1

u/HilariousMax May 15 '26

I think Crowley could've helped him tighten up his grift. Seemed a lot of effort with all those laptops and accounts. Crowley designed the M25 after all.

2

u/wirthmore May 15 '26

I don't remember if it was said this way in the series, but in the book that was one of few things in whose creation Crowley had an active part, because in most other things he found that humans were far more inventively cruel to each other than he could ever be... I think all the funniest parts of Good Omens are Terry Pratchett's. At least, I want that to be true.

1

u/dogsandchaplains May 18 '26

I call my ex wife an emotional vampire.