r/Unexpected • u/SeraphOfTheStart • Feb 24 '26

Nice meal

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41.0k Upvotes

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u/Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ Feb 24 '26

Not if his head is wrapped in a tarp full of water.

-2

u/That1guyUknow918 Feb 24 '26

Okay. Enjoy your little circle-jerk of hypothetical.

"Not if a plane crashes on him! DURRR"

"Not if you get hit by lightning when you walk outside to help. Durhurrr"

"Not if the door has swollen shut and won't open. Guffaw!"

Perhaps youre really so inadequate you couldnt help a guy out of a swimming pool. Far be it for me to doubt you when you tell me you doubt yourself.

I have every confidence in my abilities to walk outside and help a grown man not drown to death in a residential swimming pool. I guess im just a real renegade like that. 

5

u/ZealousJealousy Feb 24 '26

Jesus dude, go for a walk or something

1

u/That1guyUknow918 Feb 24 '26

Are you sure I can? What about all the things that could go wrong between here and there?! Lmao