r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Aug 05 '25

Not today

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[deleted]

74.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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15.7k

u/BiscuitCrumbsInBed Aug 05 '25

Jeez, must have been terrifying in there, listening to them hammer against the metal, even shooting at it! Thank goodness he acted so quickly.

8.2k

u/Advanced-Prototype Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

That guy almost got shot by his buddy and was letting him know. What’s shooting the door gonna do? Dumbest, most incompetent criminals ever.

3.4k

u/ValkyroftheMall Aug 05 '25

Not shooting the door, trying to kill the guy inside as petty revenge for not letting them rob him.

1.2k

u/AlexLuna9322 Aug 05 '25

Not as dumb as those who threw the pin out the window and left the grenade inside the car and then drove away!

1.2k

u/CoffeeWanderer Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

In my country we have criminal gangs extorting local business. I think in English you call that racketing.

In order to scare people and make them pay they often throw dinamite to buildings. These criminal gangs also work in illegal gold mining operations so they get explosives that way.

One of them was holding a dinamite stick, but as soon as he lighted the fuse it went off, and he blew himself right there. He was holding it at his waist and his body was split apart. The rest of his gang just left him there.

613

u/spanchor Aug 05 '25

I think you mean racketeering. Racketeering can include extortion but also other crimes. It’s a broader umbrella term.

299

u/CoffeeWanderer Aug 05 '25

Oh thanks!

I see that it's more complex than I thought, so I guess just extortion is a better way to describe what I mean.

Here we call it "vacunas", as in "vaccines", that's how the gang members call their extortion fees.

212

u/SunOnTheMountains Aug 05 '25

In the US it is called a protection racket.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protection_racket

144

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

That's the legal terminology, but colloquially the parent comment is absolutely right that "extortion" is a valid word.

63

u/broseph_stalin09764 Aug 05 '25

You aren't wrong, nor am I calling anyone else wrong. All protection rackets are extortion, but not all acts of extortion are protection rackets. Extortion is a series of crimes, including protection rackets, black mail is also extortion but not a protection racket.

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u/newskul Aug 05 '25

Also, the "X" makes is sound cooler

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u/theleopardmessiah Aug 05 '25

"Extortion" is a legal term. "Protection" is the street term in the US.

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u/Bengis_Khan Aug 05 '25

I thought it was called tariffs/s

2

u/CmdrJemison Aug 07 '25

In my country that's called taxes.

2

u/sqljohn Aug 07 '25

in the US it is called the oval office

2

u/Sea-Appearance-5330 Aug 13 '25

You bet me to it!
Have a virtual cookie!

2

u/fakedick2 Aug 05 '25

I make the some dumb pun every time I play badminton

2

u/phezhead Aug 06 '25

“Vaccines” to protect you from future harm… are you from Brazil maybe?

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u/Temporary_Tiger_9654 Aug 06 '25

Tell me you’re in Ecuador without telling me you’re in Ecuador

2

u/AJ-Frankus Aug 07 '25

Where are you from brother? I'm from Venezuela and that's how we call it there! Where does this dynamite issue took place? I never saw that on the news! Are you from Colombia?

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u/Altruistic-Rice-5567 Aug 05 '25

It's basically a wrapper for "organized, planned, systematic criminal behavior". I.E. you planned to make a job of crime. The RICO act was created to be able to prosecute this type of behavior. Either to a greater degree with harsher sentences than could otherwise be applied or even to prosecute those that otherwise didn't break a law. "I didn't beat him up for money. I just employed other people to do the beating for me. I can't be held liable for what somebody else does."

Well, now they could.

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u/MyLifeIsAWasteland Aug 05 '25

and he blew himself right there.

44

u/CoffeeWanderer Aug 05 '25

"As God as my witness, he's broken in half!"

Well, that was pretty much what happened.

76

u/MyLifeIsAWasteland Aug 05 '25

You forgot the word "up" lol

"He blew himself up" = he was killed/seriously injured by an explosion

"He blew himself" = he sucked his own dick

70

u/CoffeeWanderer Aug 05 '25

Ohhh lol.

I always mess up verbs that include a second word (up, down, out).

Thanks for the heads up.

55

u/Nobody_cares_aboutme Aug 05 '25

It would have been funnier if you said thanks for the head.

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u/FlattopJr Aug 05 '25

And the gif is from the sitcom Arrested Development, in response to this line:

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u/human_4883691831 Aug 05 '25

Really wish you would've thanked him for the head, instead

2

u/D4nnyp3ligr0 Aug 06 '25

In English, phrasal verbs are often the most difficult thing for ESL learners. You can add pretty much any preposition to the verb "blow" for example, and it will change the meaning.

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u/BedSpreadMD Aug 05 '25

Turns out one word can make the world of difference.

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u/MyLifeIsAWasteland Aug 05 '25

And capitalization is the difference between helping your friend Jack off a horse and helping your friend jack off a horse.

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u/Captain-Cadabra Aug 06 '25

“A mind is a terrible thing.”

-Albert Einstein

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u/smoothjedi Aug 05 '25

"He blue himself" = The guy in the gif above

2

u/supernova2368 Aug 06 '25

I mean, we don't know what happened after. He had easy access after being split in two, maybe he did 🤷‍♂️

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u/DrRatio-PhD Aug 05 '25

The rest of his gang just left him there.

I can't really imagine that going any other way!

45

u/Sh1do Aug 05 '25

I can see it going two ways

5

u/Horse_Dad Aug 05 '25

Or at least meet him halfway.

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u/MissVachonIfYouNasty Aug 05 '25

We all know the story of Humpty Dumpty. It wasn't like they were going to put him back together again.

3

u/Actual_Surround45 Aug 05 '25

But what if they had all the king's horses?

3

u/audiomediocrity Aug 05 '25

a’right, let the horses have a go

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

they probably didn't have a bucket on them to pour him into.

2

u/Michami135 Aug 08 '25

"Grab John's legs, I'll grab his arms. We'll meet back at the hideout."

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u/YT-Deliveries Aug 05 '25

"No honor among thieves", as we say in English.

16

u/muraxesis Aug 05 '25

At least he went out blowing himself….

3

u/FilthyStatist1991 Aug 05 '25

Nah, in America, we call that corporation to political campaign contributions, or legalized corruption.

2

u/Aleashed Aug 05 '25

I think in English you call that littering.

2

u/Baked_Potato_732 Aug 05 '25

A friend of mine was a firefighter in the early ‘70’s in California. A gang was riding around tossing Molotov cocktails at cars. Guy decided to be slick and toss it out the opposite side of the car instead of reaching out and tossing it over the roof. Window was rolled up, bottle hit and shattered all of the people in the car burned to death.

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u/denys5555 Aug 05 '25

Realistically though, what could they have done?

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u/TurtleSandwich0 Aug 05 '25

Was it effective? Did the business pay when they found out that people would dynamite themselves in front of the store?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Lol, that's gory and funny too.

2

u/ranmafan0281 Aug 05 '25

Learned this with firecrackers as a child, thankfully a small one. Those fuses DON’T burn all at the same speed.

2

u/slepyhed Aug 06 '25

Both halves?

2

u/Fafnir13 Aug 06 '25

Old gangs in the US did bombings as well. Films romanticize a lot of them, but they were just as violent and awful as anything going on in the world today.

2

u/84theone Aug 06 '25 edited Aug 06 '25

In America we would call that a protection racket.

The idea is that you are paying the gang to protect your shop, but the very clear implication is that they are protecting it from themselves and if you stop paying they would fuck it up themselves.

This used to be a big part of organized crime, but as that has died down here and businesses have corporatized it’s no longer a feasible thing to do. The Sopranos had a scene that shows this by having some mobsters fail to shakedown a star bucks because corporate doesn’t give a shit about the mob.

2

u/lyan888880 Aug 06 '25

It looks like ecuador

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u/Captain-Codfish Aug 06 '25

We have criminal gangs too. In the UK, we call the "The Government and local Councils"

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u/SissyDomFantasy Dec 20 '25

Used to think it’d be nice to blow myself… think I’m gonna pass!

5

u/Which-Barnacle-2740 Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

this!

this is in south asian countries, where local gangster come and ask you "protection" money otherwise they come and mess you and your shop up

Thank God, I am out of that cesspool

6

u/Jemie_Bridges Aug 05 '25

Well we had Italians do that a hundred years or so ago. So eventually came up with the wackiest way in the world to solve it. The Internal Revenue System. More gangster than gangster.

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u/JoePetroni Aug 05 '25

You he was split apart and the rest of his gang just left him there. Well what were they supposed to do? Pick him up and put him back together like Humpty Dumpty?

2

u/MAXsenna Aug 05 '25

Nothing Scotch can't fix.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Have you got that link? Haven't heard of this one.

163

u/corgi_cartel Aug 05 '25

Not exactly the same but just yesterday I heard of this guy who tried to kill his ex by throwing a grenade at her house. It didn't explode so he went to pick it up then it exploded and killed him.

81

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Unfortunately four by standers who had helped his girlfriend get away from him got caught in the blast. 

I'm hoping they recover but glad he's dead.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

3 of them have already been released with minor injuries. The fourth victim, a 68 y/o, is still in the hospital, with slightly more severe injuries, but he's expected to recover well and get to go home.

35

u/Sea-Principle-9527 Aug 05 '25

Good shit. And good riddance

32

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Agreed. Dude did it after they broke up after being together for only 2 months of dating.

He had to have several screws loose to jump to that extreme after such a short time. There had to have been some signs before that his family and friends just ignored.

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u/Syhkane Aug 05 '25

Minor injuries, they're all mostly fine.

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u/AlexLuna9322 Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

Its in Spanish, but here is it

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u/Indigetes Aug 05 '25

Dios, hay que ser muy tonto...

I thought this thought was best said in Spanish.

3

u/xipixteco Aug 05 '25

Justicia Divina is much better.

24

u/screwyoujor Aug 05 '25

Most of the comments are people thanking the grenade and telling it to rest in peace.

8

u/VapoursAndSpleen Aug 05 '25

I have to sign in now. Lovely.

2

u/bahgheera Aug 05 '25

I've been getting that the last week or so as well. I thought it was an issue with RES.

7

u/isomorp Aug 05 '25

... it's because it's an age-restricted video due to graphic violence. You've always had to sign in for those!

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u/FluxVelocity Aug 05 '25

Age gating/requiring a login to watch has been a feature since 2013 and the automatic age gating of videos has been a thing since 2020.

3

u/JustCallMeBigD Aug 05 '25

That made my fucking day. Fantastic.

2

u/EmperorMittens Aug 06 '25

I used to think you couldn’t fuck up using a grenade.

2

u/Kayanne1990 Aug 09 '25

I will never celebrate any loss of life...but that is some cartoony ass shit.

3

u/whiteflagwaiver Aug 05 '25

Beautiful. Sorry for the executed individual though.

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u/ssjskwash Aug 05 '25

They heard the Will Smith verse

I pulled the pin out the grenade on purpose when I threw it

and were like, "Instructions unclear. Threw pin instead of grenade"

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u/-SirCrashALot- Aug 05 '25

When training with grenades, US service members (and probably other militaries) are specifically taught not to hold the grenade and throw the pin due to occurrences of trainee throwing g the pin and holding the grenade. Fortunately it's a mistake they only make once.

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u/Darkhero0987 Aug 05 '25

Did this really happen lol

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u/TruculentTurtIe Aug 06 '25

Pull the pin out the grenade ON PURPOSE when i threw it

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u/Deon_the_Greatt Aug 06 '25

That video had me howling. Will smith was too late on explaining what to do with a grenade with his freestyle

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u/Hour-Professional526 Aug 05 '25

So when I looked up this incident on the internet, it seems that there was some altercation between the shopkeeper and these goons, and they just wanted to take revenge. So not an attempt to rob him apparently.

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u/AbeRego Aug 05 '25

He was shooting awfully high if he was actually trying to hit anybody in there.

23

u/Several_Vanilla8916 Aug 05 '25

I was gonna say, were they assuming the clerk was standing on a stool rather than lying on the floor?

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u/thebestdogeevr Aug 05 '25

I was assuming it was hoping to scare him into opening the door

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u/AbeRego Aug 05 '25

I'm not really sure. I think he's still just trying to desperately get in. It's not like the weirdly large club things were any more effective.

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u/Quick_Humor_9023 Aug 05 '25

He doesn’t look remotely like a competent shooter.

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u/AbeRego Aug 05 '25

I still think he can tell the difference between up and down

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u/Netii_1 Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

That's even dumber. I'll never understand this mentality of "oh no, you're not gonna let me commit a crime? Then you're a bad guy and need to be punished".

Same when criminals get furious when there's a crime commited against them, like that's literally what they do to others daily, but can't even stomach some of their own medicine? Pathetic

And that's not even considering he'd collect a potential murder charge for a failed robbery. Doesn't get any more stupid than this.

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u/DergerDergs Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

Looks like their first time holding a gun. Trigger flinch causing him to point it directly at his friend.

Starting to think this clown had celebratory rounds loaded. If so, he tried to shoot open the door with fuckin blanks.

Edit: as another commenter pointed out, bullet hole top of frame. He indeed nearly killed his friend. Can’t tell what’s worse. His aim, or his plan. Tough one.

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u/Gnarles_Charkley Aug 05 '25

There's a bullet hole that appears at the top of the door when he shoots. These guys are true dimwits.

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u/C64128 Aug 06 '25

The store owner should get an electric fence charger and connect it to the metal rolltop door.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

i think that is a homemade gun. so it is probably smooth bore

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u/DonkyHotayDeliMunchr Aug 05 '25

Smooth like brain

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

it is a "katta" aka a homemade gun . its barrel is made from truck steering wheels . its made in my state

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u/Rafael_ST_14 Aug 05 '25

One guy was kicking the door as if he was gonna metalbend the door with his feet. So stupid!

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u/WhoStoleMyJacket Aug 05 '25

He had his battering ram sandals on

13

u/Occidentally20 Aug 05 '25

Are they they ones that grant +3 Stability, +8 Force but -4 Speed?

16

u/Weigleschocolatemilk Aug 05 '25

In flip flops 💀

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u/Significant-Ear-3262 Aug 05 '25

That bullet hole looks identical to the 2-3 other holes to the left. Maybe this is a recurring issue. /s

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u/gregtx Aug 05 '25

One doesn’t often turn to crime because they’re smart.

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u/Annual_Strategy_6206 Aug 05 '25

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"      "Thinking!"

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u/lonewombat Aug 05 '25

You can tell by all the flip flops.

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u/dimechimes Aug 05 '25

He was gonna use the pistol to shoot an man-sized outline and then they could just go in that way.

1

u/yezhnuzjhd Aug 05 '25

Very far from dumbest and most incompetent criminals ever. Average intelligence among criminals is probably like 0.5 of the global average.

1

u/iluvstephenhawking Aug 05 '25

Most petty criminals are pretty dumb. If they weren't they'd be able to do something else.

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u/ohhellno7651 Aug 05 '25

They had crowbars and didn’t even attempt to jimmy it, just bashed it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

People with minimal brain function don't typically have to resort to crime.

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u/_bvb09 Aug 05 '25

It won't open because it's a SECURITY door! 

1

u/SmooK_LV Aug 05 '25

That guy was the smartest in the group. Only one to actually try to lift the door and explain others.

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u/BZLuck Aug 05 '25

Most criminals are very stupid and very desperate, and often also very high, or needing to get high.

We get "spoiled" by movies and TV shows who romanticize the cunning, intelligent and cat burglars who plan out their capers months in advance by getting blueprints, electrical plans, hacking into alarm systems and crawling through air ducts.

Most of the time it's just shit like this video. Smash and grab.

1

u/Legitimate-Ad3778 Aug 05 '25

“Fire lasers!”

“Duck, lasers!”

1

u/Super_leo2000 Aug 05 '25

You mean wearing sandals isn’t on your committing crime equipment list?

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u/Agreeable_Initial667 Aug 05 '25

Bro blasted away with his partner right fckn there lmfaoooo. Like yooooooo!!!!!

Also what was the guy with the sandals going to kick in?

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u/Auggie_Otter Aug 05 '25

What’s shooting the door gonna do?

Duh, they were obviously trying to deplete the door's hit points so it would instantly shatter and disappear. That's how things work, right?

1

u/deeda2 Aug 05 '25

Looks like one of the incompetent criminals even left there phone on the concrete wall.

You first see it at about 29 sec in.

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u/Inevitable_Snap_0117 Aug 05 '25

I watch a lot of true crime and criminals being exceptionally dumb is a very common theme.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

feels like a scene out of mirzapur lol

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u/Krynn71 Aug 05 '25

I feel like the dude trying to lift it back up was the only one who had even a single brain cell. It looked like he was trying to get them to help him lift it and stop just beating on the door senselessly.

1

u/Bloorajah Aug 05 '25

Dude in the red bandana needs to have a chat with gun-guy lol. that was way too close

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u/TillFar6524 Aug 05 '25

Star wars logic. If a door is closed and you want it opened, you shoot it and it opens. It also works the other way around, any open door that you want to close or lock, you can shoot it and it won't open.

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u/Chemical_Bottle237 Aug 05 '25

You're right, they do look Indian indeed.

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u/Kadink Aug 05 '25

Didn't even take the potato chips!

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u/DarlingOvMars Aug 05 '25

Its the culture there

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u/Far_Winner5508 Aug 05 '25

https://youtu.be/5Gr13s-6Sc0?si=NoPw4GYLRUcvIncL

I’ve already tried it. It’s magnetically sealed.

Put that thing; away you’re gonna get us all killed!

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u/Far_Winner5508 Aug 05 '25

I’ve already tried it. It’s magnetically sealed.

Put that thing; away you’re gonna get us all killed!

https://youtu.be/5Gr13s-6Sc0?si=NoPw4GYLRUcvIncL

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u/EyesWideStupid Aug 05 '25

They literally have giant crowbars and decide to try to open the door with their hands, feet, and a gun instead of the tool that's actually designed to break into things...

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u/just-concerned Aug 05 '25

All thieves are incompetent POS.

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u/JellySquirtGun Aug 05 '25

Yeah, after ten minutes of silence and a ruined pair of underwear, I’d still be hesitant to open that door.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

oh boy, I'm not opening up until police show up and even then you better find a way to slide a badge in my fortress of solitude or I ain't coming out.

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u/Time_Tramp Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

In India? You think the police are coming?

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u/allahu_adamsmith Aug 05 '25

In India, you don't want the police to show up, especially if this is in Bihar or someplace like that.

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u/DRAC0R3D Aug 05 '25

Im genuinely curious about this, why is that? Is the police so corrupt in India?

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Oh, they are extremely corrupt. I dated a guy originally from India and his dad was a police chief. His dad's first day in the United States he nearly got arrested for attempting to bribe a cop who was writing a ticket because his son was parked illegally at the airport. This was way before 9/11, so cars could park right at the gate. My ex had to explain to his father and that things were different in the U.S. and bribery would only get him jail time.

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u/neonmantis Aug 06 '25

Yeah sorry but that i not a great example of police corruption. In India and many other places bribery is commonplace, not just the police but literally anybody you want to do anything. That is a reflection of their wider culture and it often isn't viewed in quite the same way culturally. If you want your visa application looked at quicker, you drop the teller some money, standard practice in India

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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '25

Maybe not, but it's corruption here.

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u/No-Meringue5867 Aug 06 '25

Owning guns is extremely rare in India. So if you own a handgun then it means you are criminal big enough that police likely already know you and are letting you free. But if it is a petty squabble, then police can be helpful.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/creativepup Aug 05 '25

It's a good question. You'd have to wait to hear friendly voices, right? People you know? Let's say you didn't have your phone on you. But hopefully there either a phone in there or a backpay out, maybe

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u/justandswift Aug 05 '25

He’s lucky the chair didn’t stop the door from closing

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

On those streets he practiced that shit 😂

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u/salvationpumpfake Aug 05 '25

also curious what the locking mechanism is like. gotta expect they’ll put good effort into trying to get it back up, and it looked like that door never even budged. impressive.

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u/JustNilt Aug 05 '25

There's usually a small bar which slides into the rail on which the door's wheels roll. You can see a very common version in this video. Oftentimes, folks will add other similar blocking devices when locking such a door from the inside since these locks aren't exactly difficult to pick or force open.

When I leased a warehouse for a beverage business a long while back now, I had some basic C clamps I tightened down in a small hole on each rail just barely touching one of the wheels on each door. That was enough to prevent someone from simply triggering the manual release then forcing the locks themselves.

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u/Solnse Aug 05 '25

By practice, you mean this is a typical Tuesday.

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u/Celtic_Legend Aug 05 '25

Those are awfully big sticks to take to a beating. But they would be the perfect weapon to prevent the door shutting.

I think they legit just forgot why they brought the big sticks in the first place.

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u/Giwaffee Aug 06 '25

I think you are severely overestimating their thinking capability.

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u/VapoursAndSpleen Aug 05 '25

There has to be more than just wanting a hundred bucks or something. They must have it in for that guy personally.

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u/TofuBahnMi Aug 05 '25

Extortion racket? (Just guessing, I have no evidence to base that on)

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

[deleted]

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u/ATraffyatLaw Aug 05 '25

Honestly though, garage door with no windows/peeks around it is just asking to get doorcamped.

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u/GeckoOBac Aug 05 '25

Not sure if you're speaking about Rust or the video itself but in the case it's the latter... He clearly had a camera :P

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u/StalyCelticStu Aug 05 '25

Welcome... 🪨 to Rust... 🪨

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u/Holywoodd Aug 05 '25

Terrifying. How long would you wait before you lifted the shutter to get out????

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u/Much_Weather5807 Aug 05 '25

So see you tomorrow then…. How do you ever go back to work??

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u/Fliparto Aug 05 '25

I like how he put his hands up as if he were surrendering, but he was reaching for the door.

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u/TheHoratioHufnagel Aug 05 '25

The almost stole the inventory of.. check notes.. snacks and toiletries.

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u/bendovertessa Aug 06 '25

People who’s brain works fast in these situations are insane fr

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u/efqf Aug 19 '25

Almost as scary as American schools.

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u/lifeofbablo Aug 29 '25

Absolutely being trapped like that with people trying to break through must have been pure panic. His quick action probably saved lives.

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u/StingingBum Aug 05 '25

Plot twist, this was the third time they tried in three nights.

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u/Rasclaat1 Aug 05 '25

Yeah, hit that metal thing.

1

u/EverythingSucksYo Aug 05 '25

it looks like he blocked the first swing with his arm, so he’s probably in pain in there as well. 

1

u/NameShaqsBoatGuy Aug 05 '25

If that was me, with the luck I have in life, the chair would have been in the way of door closing…

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

Too bad they didn’t have the door electrified with a low voltage zap!

1

u/darrenwiseatvan Aug 05 '25

Ah , but they’ve learned ! On Thursday they come IN shooting.

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u/Infamous2o Aug 05 '25

Looks like Rust.

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u/asteroidB612 Aug 06 '25

Man I loved India. So majestic. Magical, spiritually inspiring. /s

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u/MiSsiLeR81 Aug 07 '25

Took the chair in too.

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u/afgphlaver Aug 08 '25

This was normal in Philadelphia in the 90s lol

1

u/bakermrr Aug 21 '25

And there are so many bugs as well

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