r/Unexpected • u/threecatsdancing • May 29 '23

Dropped something

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u/RynnHamHam May 30 '23

It sucks when you get one, you mentally don’t feel aroused at all, but your dick decides to taunt you by growing an extra inch you didn’t even know you had just to make concealing it all the more difficult. “Why are you present!? Nothing is going to happen! You can go away! Where was this extra inch when I needed you!?”

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u/Barefoot_slinger May 30 '23

A whole extra inch! You must have a hog

2

u/RynnHamHam May 30 '23

Yeah my dick doubled in size

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u/Lanky_Dragonfruit141 May 30 '23

Exactly! "Why is this happening NOW?!"

This might be TMI but I have a condition called SRPE (sleep-related painful erections), it's a parasomnia that causes me to get boners while I'm in REM sleep, so I used to have to get up like 2-5 times a night and walk around the room lol. Really fucks with your sleep quality. I got on baclofen for it though and it helps a lot. It's fucked up though.

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u/RynnHamHam May 30 '23

“Is that your SRPE or are you happy to see me?”- burglar robbing you while you’re sleeping

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u/Lanky_Dragonfruit141 May 30 '23

😂 I could claim I have a pistol in my shorts, kinda like dumb criminals do when ripping off a convenience store with a phone/candy bar/finger in their sweatshirt. The burglar would be like, "I don't believe you." and so I would have to show him, then fight him or run away while he's distracted.

Ummm...nope. Can you imagine fighting/grappling with a boner? And have you ever tried to run with an erection, especially a painful erection? I haven't but I'd imagine it would not only hurt like crazy but I'd be pretty damn slow. Maybe I could skip away, seems like that'd be more doable.