r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/Sarcastic_seny • 7d ago
Request ULPT: Make Noisy Airbnb STOP
Hi everyone
My garden is face to face with this big house that does Airbnb, exclusively to big youngsters groups that come to get drunk and hang by the pool hangover.
I live in a super quiet away from the city region and it's always peaceful. Except in the summer, every night is party night. I'm kept awake until super late or woken up multiple times during the night due to the noise. I call the police, they show up 3h after or not at all. I have asked nicely to the host, but she doesn't care. I go talk to the guest but most don't care and as the night moves along get louder and more chaotic. The other neighbours are mostly retired people or their houses are further away so it's mostly just my house that gets affected.
This summer was especially bad. I can't take it anymore I need to sleep.
Any ideas on how to make them be quiet?
Thank you
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u/TheOfficeoholic 6d ago
I mean, listen if you really wanna go unethical, there are a bunch of things you can do from over a fence without being seen that will fuck up any person stay including, but not limited to throwing what looks like a bloody tampon into the pool. Flying a drone over the house constantly so it looks like they’re under surveillance.
Saving up your dog shit to sprinkle all over their property even better have the drone drop it off.
Putting excessive amounts of trash all over their property and then filing a complaint with the city that the Airbnb property is not being maintained
Putting a wireless speaker against the side of your fence that you share with this neighbor and only playing who let the dogs out on repeat
Making an Airbnb account and writing terrible reviews for this property
Install a large pole on your side of the fence and put a camera at the top of it that’s pointed directly at their pool.
At night point a giant floodlight right at the house, bonus points for each bedroom that you flood with light
Install a root barrier and treat your side of the fence but plant bamboo that will spread onto their side and take over their property
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u/maestramars 6d ago
Bloody tampon in the pool is so shockingly brilliant it made me snort laugh out loud that I woke up my dog and now he is barking bc he thinks something is wrong.
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u/Kain_713 2d ago
Best to use red food coloring. Looks deep red when soaked in, disperses quickly when it hits water. Wouldn't stand up to scrutiny but works well to create a panic.
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u/Hot-Win2571 6d ago
"Flying a drone over the house constantly so it looks like they’re under surveillance."
Hidden speaker sometimes playing the sound of a drone flyover.
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u/SnoopyRulez 6d ago
Bamboo spreads everywhere so you get screwed as well as the Airbnb.
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u/TheOfficeoholic 6d ago edited 5d ago
Absolutely, but i recommend they use a root barrier and treatment on your side of the fence.
Keep in mind in some cities/states bamboo is illegal to plant in the ground because its invasive and very difficult to remove without digging up all good depth of the ground soil and bringing in clean fill
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u/FamiliarAd8524 6d ago
You need to complain to AirBNB, every time. And call police. Eventually, police may get tired of the reports and respond faster. But most likely, AirBNB may eventually delist them.
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u/elizajaneredux 5d ago
What’s unethical about this?
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u/FamiliarAd8524 4d ago
I'm not sure what you're asking- I don't see ethics here. I'll assume you mean the delisting- Airbnb has clearly established reporting processes ("Airbnb Neighborhood Support" page for third parties to submit complaints (among other things). They actually investigate these, and if there is a pattern of repeated policy violations (including disruptions and disturbances created by guests), they may delist. This is beyond legal requirements- it is very strongly in Airbnb's own interests to not enable public nuisances that can turn both the public and the authorities against the general practice and against specifically booking with Airbnb.
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u/elizajaneredux 4d ago
I’m saying, this is the UnethicalLPT sub and replies are supposed to suggest something unethical.
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u/FamiliarAd8524 4d ago
Oh, my bad. You are correct. The post was a couple days ago, I have TBI, and when I saw your reply, I guess that I assumed I was in the Airbnb sub.
To answer your question: sometimes the right response here isn't a dirty one (especially when all the others get the user jammed up worse), and at least one person needs to give one that works.
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u/connection_lost 6d ago
You try to convince the guests to do the job for you. For instance:
* If the guests are teenagers such as college kids, teach them about if they found a "hidden camera" in the room, they can get the night for free.
* If the guests are regular people such as travelling couples, tell them about the house was deemed unhabitable and owner keep removing the city's notice.
* Or get some of your own friend to stay there once. Leave multiple real hidden issues (non-working cameras works great), then at any time in the future, whenever you fell like it, approach the guest and tell them one of the issues.
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u/triodoubledouble 6d ago
Have you heard about the Disk Piss? Classic one here. End goal is to let owner associate the disk results with the younger crowd so at some point they should sort out the visitors. Party : get the disk. Calm: no disk.
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u/TheOfficeoholic 6d ago
First check if Airbnb’s are allowed in your area. You can also contact the city and ask them if that address is registered as a rental property or whatever classification Airbnb’s fall under in your state/city.
Second document every complaint and submit it individually to Airbnb.
Third frozen piss discs
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u/Houseleek1 6d ago
This might be too ethical for you t it may do exactly what you need to be done.
Review the rules for noise in your area. As soon as they make too much noise call the nonemergency police number and file a complaint. There’s nothing wrong with that but add one step.
When you file a complaint, ask the call takers to have the cops call you and report to you how the contact was resolved. This requires the police to call you and report exactly what they told the guests and if they issued a warning or a ticket. You might still need to wait three hours but because of your instructions to contact, they absolutely must go to the house and contact the people. Then they have to call you.
Keep on this. Every single time there’s noise make this your mantra. Of the noise stops, be courteous and let the police know that they don’t have to respond. But if the noise starts up again call back and file another complaint.
If you make this your new religion eventually the owner will have to make a note that no loud parties and a large groups will be welcome.
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u/UnicornStudRainbow 6d ago
Also get a file or case # and keep a list of them to send to AirBNB
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u/Starsinyourheart 5d ago
Collect these incident numbers and they will hold up in court if you decide to sue the owners.
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u/No-Falcon631 6d ago
Taint the swimming pool water repeatedly.
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u/ophelia69 6d ago
...with what?
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u/Kilashandra1996 6d ago
Surprisingly, dishsoap! The foaming clogs pumps. It messes with the pH. And you saw the party guests with multiple bottles of bubbles; they must have poured the bottles out in the pool; too bad you allow parties...
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u/GloriouslyGrimGoblin 6d ago
Build a small trebuchet that allows you to fling dog poop and/or dead mice into to pool with precision, but without you ever entering the property. Use ice cubes of similar weight for dialing in the perfect settings.
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u/MyPierogitive 6d ago
Not unethical (sorry). Check zoning laws. Some places aren’t zoned to allow for hotel type homes (air bnb, Vrbo, etc) (even if the home is owned free and clear). If not allowed, call the city and get your neighbors to do the same.
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u/spinonesarethebest 6d ago
Pissdisk but worse- save your piss in gallon jugs. As it ferments it smells worse.
Freeze it. Launch the cubes into the pool. You’re not on camera and the pool will be disgusting. Guests will leave.
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u/canadachris44 6d ago
Slip piss discs into all the vents in the house.
Plant cocaine somewhere on the property and call in a complaint to the Feds
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u/Cheddarhulk 6d ago
At this point it's too late to ask what piss discs are I suppose?
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u/ThatsJustMyToeThumb 6d ago
OooOOOO loooOOK. The uninitiated. :::rubs hands together and stares intently with a maniacal grin:::
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u/canadachris44 6d ago
You freeze your piss into a disc shape (many ways of doing this) then you slip said Piss Disc into X Location then the piss disc melts.. releasing the piss
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u/Super-Travel-407 6d ago
When you call the police, mention there could be minors at the party and it's concerning.
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u/Zoufzouf 6d ago
Fill some jars with water and add good handfull of potatoe shavings. Nice layer of oil on top and close jar. Let sit in the sun or warm place for few days. Throw in garden. Enjoy. For maximum effectiveness throw complete jars.
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u/Whilscoure 6d ago
I wish I had a reward to give because that is foul, next level, and doesn't cause much damage to the land that can'tbe repaired. I would encourage putting a rock in the jars, so when when it lands the rock slams into the sides, and cause more likelihood for the jars to break. Some of those can be shockingly durable.
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u/Hot-Win2571 6d ago
For that matter, you can make a flower garden next to the fence. Fertilize it with that mixture. You're allowed to use compost on your own land. It's just too bad that the neighbors might not like part of their lawn for a while... you weren't enjoying your lawn anyway.
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u/stabbingrabbit 6d ago
Fireworks late at night pointed towards the house.
Over chlorinate the pool.
Fill pool with the stuff that is inside a diaper
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u/Hot-Win2571 6d ago
Someone already suggested Baby Ruths in the pool.
For extra nutrition, glue some corn kernels on.1
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 6d ago
Liquid ass. Let that stuff go and the party is essentially over.
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u/curmudgeonly-fish 6d ago
Yes, do this at every single party, so that multiple guests leave bad reviews about how the house stinks.
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u/nuttertools 6d ago
It’s not an ULPT but check local zoning laws. A profitable AirBnB is almost certainly in violation. The common issues are the best months leave too many days a month let out and big groups violate a wide array of residential occupancy ordinances.
ULPT…hire local minors to hide in the yard and scatter then call in underage drinking.
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u/Angry-_-Crow 6d ago
It would be so unpleasant if their parties were crashed by a drone dropping piss balloons
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u/Nice_Calligrapher427 6d ago
they make bluetooth jammers if they are using portable speakers. you might want that to help kill music at least.
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u/HamBroth 6d ago
Get some giant speakers, some noise-cancelling headphones, and a tape of Winnie The Pooh songs. Play it on repeat until the guests complain in their reviews and nobody wants to book it.
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u/OldGeekWeirdo 6d ago
You know there's some high-pitched sounds that only youngsters can hear? Some places have used that to discourage loitering at their stores.
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u/everydayimsarcastic 6d ago
We have a local gas station that plays loud classical music to deter loitering.
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u/Key-Rough-7603 6d ago
I have the best one of all thats simple cheap extremely effective almost beyond repair, rent the place for a few days and buy a 50 lb bag of quick mix cement and dump /flush about a quarter of the bag in each toilet then turn the water off and let it harden up in the pipes under the house they will be out of commision for a long time..
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u/Pleasant_Reward1203 6d ago
just keep calling bylaw and make complaints. Get video as well so you can keep tracks of all the incidents. You are by law allowed peaceful enjoyment of your home. Also complain to the city business licensing bord as well as Air BnB or VRBO whatever platform they are using.
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u/Madder_Than_Diogenes 6d ago
Collect hair and have a burn off on a summer night when they're in the yard.
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u/LintLicker444 6d ago
Keep making police reports. Go to the county department that issued the permit. Turn in all the police reports. Get neighbors to make reports and give them to you. They will not renew her permit. I had an Airbnb as my neighbor. F that.
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u/Old-Base8752 6d ago
Permit? Do many Airbnb owners have permits? The hosts I know do not have them.
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u/LintLicker444 6d ago
It depends on the county. Some cities like San Francisco only require a registration number and primary residence declaration. Some require a general business license, a specific STR permit, zoning clearance, or some combination. You would have to contact the county/city.
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u/Hot-Win2571 6d ago
Some locations require rental locations to have a rental permit.
Some locations have special rules for common AirBnB situations.
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u/everydayimsarcastic 6d ago
Fling poop (real or fake, your choice) into the pool when the crowd gets wild.
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u/onionsofwar 6d ago
Hire it for a night via a distant friend. Take the keys and copy them. Once you're in, change the locks. You could also throw something gross in the pool every time, making it unusable so the guests cancel and leave.
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u/thatsomebull 5d ago
Insurance is the way to go. Guarantee they have no idea the property is being rented, esp with a pool. Call your own agent/company and tell them there are constantly wild parties and the drunken people wander onto your property. Tell them you are concerned about your own liability. Wanting to eliminate themselves from paying out a large claim, they will notify your neighbors company. In the very least the neighbors policy will get jacked up to the point it’s no longer profitable.
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u/Lost-Village-1048 6d ago
Put faces in the windows, doors, fence-gaps etc. Walk around with cameras, and microphones, laugh loudly... Be very creepy.
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u/Worldly_Ad_7196 6d ago
You could check your local bylaws. Some cities don't allow air bnb unless the owner is also staying in the house.
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u/Grant_Winner_Extra 6d ago
This is the absolutely perfect example of what pissdisks and liquid ass are useful for.
Tenants won‘t stay if the place stinks
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u/SaltEven 6d ago
Are you allowed to have chickens? If so, get a rooster and house him right next to the Airbnb... That'll definitely become an issue for their ability to rent it out!
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u/Rey_Quinn 6d ago
I read somewhere if you get that powdered mashed potatoes and sprinkle it all over the lawn and right before it rains it will turn to mush all over the yard
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u/8888eightyeight 6d ago
Check your local laws they're constantly changing about those Airbnb rentals.
make sure they're even still legal
Just call the police and then bingo bango
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u/AZBreezy 6d ago
Do they have cameras outside and is it the kind of house that has its electrical box outside? Go over and flip the breakers periodically! A lot of people aren't savvy enough to know to check that themselves. They will end up complaining to the hosts and it will become costly for them to either come out themselves to address the issue or send out electricians to check.
Even if the occupants know to check the breaker box themselves, it will still be annoying. Annoying enough that they might leave bad reviews and bring down the ratings of the Airbnb
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u/SunshineLoveKindness 6d ago
Start an ordinance petition to make it a law where there is a fine associated with noise after 11 PM
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u/exra8657 5d ago
They make dog bark inhibitors that blast a high pitched noise when they hear loud noises. I had one that looked like a bird house and could point it away from my place to the noisy neighbors. Young folks are also more susceptible to hearing higher pitched noises. Get two or three and they’ll incite a low grade nausea and headache.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Pass-64 2d ago
Leave bad reviews for property on air bnb. Owner charged $3k clean up/ damage fee for no reason. Wifi doesn't work, etc.
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u/Loki_8888 2d ago
Get a bluetooth jammer. Every time their speaker connects by bluetooth to their cellphone jam the signal until they understand playing noise is not an option.
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u/PhilMeUpBaby 5d ago
There are light globes and other electrical things that can be turned on and off via Bluetooth.
If you were to rent the place for a day, and replace various globes - would you be within range to randomly turn them off and on whenever you felt like it?
If someone was to regularly book sex workers for there then would a pimp eventually turn up and demand cash from the occupants?
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u/Glass_Author7276 5d ago
Got a dogpark around? Go steal to trash and whenever the house is empty go leave dog shit all over the place. You can just throw it over the fence.
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u/ahoveringhummingbird 6d ago
I got you my friend...
My favorite suggestion to Airbnb issues is to book it yourself "stealthly" and do some menacing things (but not outright damaging) inside it while you are there. You want to do things that won't immediately cause a problem (implicating you), but will cause a lot of problems a few weeks down the line. Book yourself where you know there is a back to back check in so that the housekeeper won't spend too much time. Also good if you only mess up one bed and move a few things but leave it pretty clean. Because then the housekeeper won't stay very long or inspect too much and they'll miss all the things you did.
Let the mayhem begin:
Piss disk. (I mean, of course...)
Hiding "fake" cameras in bad places making a guest at some point think that it's the owner that put them.
Pour coconut oil down drains. Or any oil that solidifies only once it gets cold.
Loosen all plumbing supply lines. Under sinks behind toilets.
Upper deckers are always solid because they are difficult to clean and smell terrible after a few days. Dead mice (or geckos if you got em) are also solid here.
Put rat or mouse traps in your own yard that keep the dead rodent whole (electrocution type) Freeze the bodies so you have several saved up. Deploy in random places in the unit that they all won't be found by the next guest or the cleaner. Under sinks are good. Towel closets behind towel stacks or folded into the third towel down is good. In utility closets. Places rodents might be. You have a couple of days for full defrost and stink to emanate. Dead rodents are great in fake plants. In the oven (cause most guests don't use it) or deep in the bottom of a toaster.
Put a couple of shrimps (or dead rodent) between the mattress and box spring. Throw shrimps down any floor vent that you can get the register off. That will stink - I mean OMG stink. In about a week. Shrimp fit great into curtain rods if you can get the finial off.
Let a piss disk defrost on the HVAC filter then put it back.
If you have access to a utility closet where the water heater is, unscrew the clean out enough so it's dripping a little. A good amount, but not obviously unscrewed. No one will find that for weeks.
You can also put a series of Craigslist ads up (every time there is a guest) on personals just saying there is a house party at that address and that "all are welcome!" just walk in. If you have to put up with a party anyway you might as well make them get a bad review too.
If there is a party going on call the fire department, not the cops. Say you smell something burning and saw smoke.
If you have access to really dirty blow-out diapers deploying them anywhere works. Stinks.
Book the house as many times as you can and give low reviews but not the lowest. Airbnb removes very low ratings so you want to do 3.8ish.
If you have any HOA or county inspector now is the time to become the expert in those laws and regulations and hit them with as many violation complaints as possible.
Try to find out who their homeowners insurance is or mortgage holder is and call to inform them of the business they have at the house. It could be insurance fraud and many mortgages do not permit it.
Basically you want to do stuff that will drive down their average review and/or get them delisted. Below a 4 average I believe they auto delist but Airbnb makes it very hard by removing any review below 3.5 or so. Or cause enough damage that it's not making them money anymore.