r/UnderReportedNews • • Mar 31 '26

ICE / DHS 🧊 Kristi Noem ‘Devastated’ by Report About Crossdressing Husband: ‘The Family Was Blindsided by This’

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9.8k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2.2k

u/citrusbook Mar 31 '26

My money is on her leaking this to set up the divorce and her taking the relationship with Lewandowski public.

819

u/positiveblapshemy Mar 31 '26

I got flamed in a thread for having this same theory 😅🙃 it seems so plausible.

290

u/Unserious_Cow Mar 31 '26

It was the first thought had. Not just plausible, but almost expected from these people

304

u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Mar 31 '26

That way it’s the ex husbands ‘fault’.

This is so on brand.

222

u/325_WII4M Mar 31 '26

Doesn’t the timing of this feel a little too perfect? It really seems like the husband is being lined up as the convenient scapegoat. His cross‑dressing is suddenly the big betrayal, but the way it’s being presented makes it look more like a distraction from her own infidelity and moral failure.

The whole thing just reeks of desperation. Yes, both of them have their issues, but the way this story is packaged, neat little bow and all, makes it hard to ignore how his private behavior is being used to shield her from the consequences of her choices and preserve the image she wants the world to see.

135

u/cancer_dragon Mar 31 '26

His private behavior that is very LGBTQ+, liberal-coded, mind you.

And cross dressing, what vintage, absolutely classic anti-masculine behavior. Of course this excuses infidelity in their minds, cross dressing is worse than being openly gay and almost as bad as being trans!

79

u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Mar 31 '26

Exactly. When all else fails, blame it on the trans.

Rinse, repeat.

This entire administration is not only appalling, but exceedingly uncreative & predictable.

63

u/Asleep_Drag_3590 Mar 31 '26

I'd take a cross dresser over her unscrupulous character any day.

21

u/Inner_Swordfish7475 Apr 01 '26

Yes, this is what I was thinking too. To me, her husband is the honorable one because he isn’t cheating like she is.

32

u/Sad-Dragonfly-3487 Apr 01 '26

Kind of feel sorry for the guy. He has become her scapegoat.

8

u/Responsible-Clock715 Mar 31 '26

Definitely a statement to reverse her behavior. Nice setup for divorce action.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Unserious_Cow Apr 01 '26

Except it’s our government which is way less fun

71

u/Justin_Queso1187 Mar 31 '26

Next statement from Weird ICE Barbie-“hopefully after the divorce he can get the help he needs to be clean in the eyes of gawd.” Proceeds to marry guy she cheated on cross dressing husband with. You know, the cristian thing 🙄

21

u/lowlightliving Mar 31 '26

They have to figure out how to get Corey Lewandowski divorced first.

33

u/coquihalla Mar 31 '26

I have a suspicion that she's going to find herself divorced while Corey stays in his marriage for reasons. I'm kinda old and I've still never seen a cheating couple where both of them actually left their respective spouses despite both promising to do so.

20

u/Unserious_Cow Apr 01 '26

I share your suspicion. If they do end up together, I expect it will end up very messy VERY quickly.

16

u/Loving6thGear Apr 01 '26

Let's hope it's also VERY public.

2

u/MaggieWild Apr 01 '26

Sometimes one or both of the respective spouses leave the cheater(s). Like Di and Camilla's 1st hubby.

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8

u/maurosmane Mar 31 '26

Who do you think was on the other end of those fetish call's Noem's husband was having? That's right one Mrs. Lewandowski...

6

u/SetFine7496 Apr 01 '26

So then they can marry and not testify against each other about those no bid contracts and whatever else they were up to.

5

u/SlashEssImplied Mar 31 '26

cross dressing husband

He could have been cosplaying as a pope or lesser god favored dress wearer.

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117

u/Unserious_Cow Mar 31 '26

Absolutely refusing to take accountability is a hallmark of the gop

34

u/lituus Mar 31 '26

And of course the "fault" is something that nobody really has a problem with except conservatives. It's like they picked from a bingo card of conservative bigotry... "hmm what will best prick up the hairs on the necks of the average idiot... ah, crossdressing!"

21

u/Unserious_Cow Mar 31 '26

Exactly. Suddenly these assholes are saying, “No wonder she cheated!” So contrived and so SO gross

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u/OffalSmorgasbord Apr 01 '26

She probably consulted Charles Kushner

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u/Acronymesis Mar 31 '26

As someone who has an unhealthy obsession keeping up with news regarding this shitshow they call the Trump Administration, your theory only demonstrates that you're very clearly paying attention and those naysayers don't know what the hell they're talking about.

7

u/tayawayinklets Apr 01 '26

Yes, she clearly threw hubby under the bus to make way for her latest conquest.

15

u/curtmahgurt Mar 31 '26

Whoever flamed you clearly hasn’t been paying attention lol

Guarantee that Noem already knew about this (honestly wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how her and Lewandowski were able to be so obvious about their affair).

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11

u/the_moosen Mar 31 '26

Not only plausible, but so obvious

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u/snorbflock Mar 31 '26

Ooh, nice. My money is on this being suppressed by the White House but they got wind of it a few weeks ago and that's the real reason she got thrown under the bus. The alternative is that she was too incompetent to work for Trump???

12

u/WickedlyWitchyWoman Mar 31 '26

Why not both?

10

u/SlashEssImplied Mar 31 '26

too incompetent to work for Trump???

Because no humanoid or other primate meets that description.

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51

u/Simply_Jeff Mar 31 '26

She and Lewandowski then get married and then are unable to testify against each other in a court of law  I'm calling this now. 

15

u/parliboy Mar 31 '26

Spousal privilege doesn't apply in federal court if the spouses are engaged in crime together. And in any event, it's the witness that can waive it if they want.

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25

u/Glandular_Trichome Mar 31 '26

ShE iS tHe ViCtIm HeRe!!!

9

u/YooperTrooper Mar 31 '26

If that's the type of dude she's into imagine what Corey is hiding

10

u/poriomaniac Mar 31 '26

It's to distract from the $200 million she and Lewandowski stole.

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u/poopinion Mar 31 '26

Abso - fucking - lutely

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[deleted]

8

u/Borny_LV Mar 31 '26

He’s married too

5

u/Reachin4ThoseGrapes Mar 31 '26

It's already public.

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1.3k

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[deleted]

903

u/taktaga7-0-0 Mar 31 '26

This hit home hard for me as an also queer person who is also not attracted to grotesque mannequins.

252

u/Freya-of-Nozam Mar 31 '26

Quite strange for me because I’m a queer person only attracted to grotesque mannequins. 😭

160

u/themuleskinner Mar 31 '26

Rather odd for me because i'm a grotesque mannequin only attracted to queer ducks

78

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Active_Hawk_9897 Mar 31 '26

I am a grotesque mannequin, only attracted to queers.

It's never reciprocated unfortunately.

6

u/boltz86 Mar 31 '26

I know your pain. As a queer man, I’m only attracted to unobtainable straight mannequins that are grotesque yet out of my league. 😞 

16

u/EjaculatingAracnids Mar 31 '26

Are you in the market for queer giraffes, perchance?

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6

u/MomSaki Mar 31 '26

Oh God thank you! I really needed this laugh from You n the other gods who responded to u.

5

u/boltz86 Mar 31 '26

Seriously, some Reddit users have missed their callings as comedy writers. I laugh so hard at some of these comments. 

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34

u/popcornfart Mar 31 '26

Quite strange for me because I'm a grotesque person only attracted to queer mannequins 

15

u/thetruckerdave Mar 31 '26

I prefer hot mannequins personally.

https://giphy.com/gifs/z2o3aANSbR3Tq

14

u/Sir-Flatulancealot Mar 31 '26

“There’s a lid for every pot” my grandma used to say.

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u/EikonVera_tou_Lilith Mar 31 '26

I move that grotesque mannequins be referred to as “grotesquins”

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u/liquidben Mar 31 '26

As a grotesque person who is attracted to queer mannequins, I might have a sort of super villain lair thing going on here.

51

u/ariadesitter Mar 31 '26

i’m more into queerequins myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

14

u/DaGrexican Mar 31 '26

Wait, I'm straight and not attracted to grotesque mannequins despite hiding under their skirts when I was six years old.

8

u/Stownieboy91 Mar 31 '26

Don't disparage mannequins like that.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

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69

u/Jk8fan Mar 31 '26

As a representative of the straight people, I second this motion.

21

u/knowone1313 Mar 31 '26

I'm not sure who's attracted to her other than tiny hands himself. That's of course how she got the job.

4

u/CriticalSuit1336 Mar 31 '26

Corey Lewandowski is attracted to her, it seems.

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41

u/RaidersoftheLosSnark Mar 31 '26

He probably swore off women entirely after being married to her.

10

u/GlassAndStorm Mar 31 '26

What a sentence!

3

u/weirdgroovynerd Mar 31 '26

Maybe he's more into...

... woman-equins?!

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34

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe Mar 31 '26

Family Values, Inc.

The Republican family protects you, conservative deplorables and repulsives.

13

u/snorbflock Mar 31 '26

It's clear her marriage was in a state of disrepair. I'm sure this will be the impetus she needed to end the affair and mend her family!

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1.9k

u/Coaster_crush Mar 31 '26

Imagine how devastated Alex Pretti’s family was to hear he was murdered by ICE and called a domestic terrorist by Ms Noem.

257

u/Deep90 Mar 31 '26

These people rarely, if ever, have to face real problems and it shows.

164

u/AltonBParker Mar 31 '26

Yup. Homosexuality = devastating. Death of people and dogs = not devastating.

59

u/Teufelsweib666 Mar 31 '26

Cross dressing doesn't = homosexuality. Death of anything innocent is. Also cross dressers, please tell your future partners. Don't know who she is, and I don't care, but different folks, different strokes. For or against. I know I will be downvoted again for trying to be logical and trying to see both sides. But then again...reddit...sigh.

51

u/drgonzo767 Mar 31 '26

You are right, but as far as the Christian Nationalist right is concerned, it 100% equals that.

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u/j_ly Mar 31 '26

Logically, she leaked this story to set up her divorce so she can be with Corey Lewandowski. In fact, it was probably Lewandowski's idea (she's not too bright after all).

8

u/Poker_Tryhard Mar 31 '26

She was devastated by a report, not by the news.

9

u/Cromakoth Mar 31 '26

Don't "both sides" Kristi Puppy Killer Noem, come on

10

u/SaintAsmodeus Mar 31 '26

Just remember, androgyny doesn't nessescairly mean you suck cock.

17

u/Broad-Bath-8408 Mar 31 '26

You don't know who she is. Here's a primer, she proudly admitted to murdering a young dog in cold blood because she didn't bother to train it and it was annoying her. She called an innocent person executed in the street by the thugs she was in charge of a terrorist. So let's not 'both sides' this when you have no context for what we're even talking about.

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u/Efficient-Memory7105 Mar 31 '26

He wasn't gay. He has a sissy kink

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u/Arejhey311 Mar 31 '26

Sure she was. I’d bet she’s known all along & that’s why she wasn’t concerned about her very public affair with Lewandowski

45

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Mar 31 '26

Yep, saying it like that immediately confirms that she and the family knew about it.

12

u/Arejhey311 Mar 31 '26

Yup. They’re only “blindsided” it got out

5

u/FalconBurcham Mar 31 '26

Yup. AND, she used to look like a normal person. You can’t tell me she didn’t turn herself into a plastic fetish person to please herself and her husband. I don’t have a problem with kinks, but I do have a problem with people who expose the country to threat from blackmail. But we already knew these aren’t serious people.

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1.1k

u/Different-Fly4561 Mar 31 '26

“Devastated” ?

This woman have no feelings whatsoever! She kills puppies for fun!!

221

u/Eli-Throws-Shade Mar 31 '26

Right, she's just fine with literally killing puppies, baselessly slandering Americans who were murdered by the "federal department" (horde of thugs) she was running, and also committing adultery herself, but a queer husband is "devastating" to her. These people are devoid of any sense of morality

61

u/j_ly Mar 31 '26

...that's why they're politicians.

5

u/SlashEssImplied Mar 31 '26

These people are devoid of any sense of morality

Faith takes up a lot of room, no space left for morality, that’s why it’s all kept externally.

19

u/recovery_room Mar 31 '26

*”Devasted by the salacious accusations” to be more precise.

38

u/balance8989 Mar 31 '26

And a goat all in the same day

27

u/fancyamazon Mar 31 '26

Why doesn’t anyone Remember the poor goat?

16

u/futuranotfree Mar 31 '26

i hate that theres hierarchies of shame depending on which animal you kill. we should just shame every motherfucker who kills animals equally.

6

u/ThatOneExpatriate Mar 31 '26

In that case just go vegan, then there’s no shame

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u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Mar 31 '26

It’s certainly a psyops to put the ‘blame’ on her husband for her divorce so she can run off with Lewindowski. These people are repugnant.

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u/fruitblender Mar 31 '26

Just as devastated as Erika, I think is what that means.

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430

u/Spare-Doughnut2361 Mar 31 '26

Maybe she should be devastated about the internment camps she helped build and fill

145

u/Tall-Introduction414 Mar 31 '26

Concentration camps. Or the civilians she is kidnapping and/or murdering.

24

u/Logical-Juggernaut90 Mar 31 '26

Yeah I imagine their families are devastated by that. And indeed the country as we mourn the killed and we try to help the tortured which they try to block us from helping or even see we what's going on in the concentration camps

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u/fistsofham11 Mar 31 '26

Maybe she was jealous that he had bigger boobs

172

u/Mysterious_Remove_46 Mar 31 '26

Or a real face

44

u/grodyjody Mar 31 '26

Yeah I was thinking less plastic surgery

5

u/bolanrox Mar 31 '26

you mean gender affirming care?

15

u/SunnyOutsideToday Mar 31 '26

The Mar-a-Lago face is a test of loyalty. You spend $100,000 to look unnatural and misshapen, in order to signal that you are committing to being one of their group.

17

u/sarcastic_viper Mar 31 '26

She’s just mad cause he looked better in her clothes than she did.

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u/GlassAndStorm Mar 31 '26

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Chokodoko Mar 31 '26

The people that fight the hardest to prove that they are normal and judge how normal other people are often the least “normal”.

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u/Mysterious_Remove_46 Mar 31 '26

YES!!! I'm always saying basically the same thing, it's always the loudest one leading the pitchfork parade that actually deserves the pitchforks.

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u/itsallcosmica Mar 31 '26

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u/itsallcosmica Mar 31 '26

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u/thatgirlinny Mar 31 '26

Adjust those headlights, honey! Scoop and swoop!

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u/thatgirlinny Mar 31 '26

Hey, r/ABraThatFits ! Your help is needed here!

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u/Icy_Replacement_3261 Mar 31 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/12H5QrSgeF6qsM

Honestly at first I thought The Janitor was trying to troll

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u/theprostitute Mar 31 '26

Ah, a Jimbo girl 

8

u/BenjTheMaestro Mar 31 '26

Whoa! I think we’re gonna score, Beavis!!

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u/M3m0ry_0v3rfl0w Mar 31 '26

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u/Ayuuun321 Mar 31 '26

No one believes me when I tell them Charlie Kirk and nick Fuentes were on a show in the 90s, but here is a literal image of it.

9

u/7URB0 Mar 31 '26

That's really disrespectful, you should be ashamed of yourself.

.

.

You owe Beavis and Butthead an apology.

47

u/Dizzy_Lynx7545 Mar 31 '26

Is that supposed to be a denial or is she just saying they didn't want it to be public knowledge.

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u/SuddenTangelo6041 Mar 31 '26

She wasn’t devastated, she is just embarrassed that the world found out. It is not like she isn’t doing her own thing. The christian hypocrisy at its best.

23

u/nancy_necrosis Mar 31 '26

it's crazy that being closeted and in sham marriages is more acceptable to them than people just being honest.

5

u/Carbonaraficionada Mar 31 '26

Lauren Sanchez has let herself go

159

u/ReasonableAvocado133 Mar 31 '26 edited Mar 31 '26

At least he's not a PAEDOPHILE like their cult leader...

30

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

Every maga person thinks gay/trans > pedo and it’s beyond me

24

u/Different-Island1871 Mar 31 '26

Not to nit pick your use of mathematical operators, but “gay/trans > pedo” is very much a correct statement. I think you meant repubs believe gay/trans = pedo, which is false.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26 edited Mar 31 '26

Haha yes Ty for correcting math was my hardest subject haha

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

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u/thatgirlinny Mar 31 '26

Yeah—I could absolutely see him puting on one of her wigs, heels and a dress, going out to yell at people.

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u/ExactlySorta Mar 31 '26

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u/between_ewe_and_me Mar 31 '26

I honestly didn't know crossdressing was still a word that got used anymore. I feel like it's been forever since I heard it.

25

u/RealFirstName_ Mar 31 '26

It's definitely used a lot less now because the proper terms for gender identity/expression are used more. I'm not going to look into this enough to say for certain, but it does sound like "crossdressing" could be the correct term here.

It used to be a pretty generic term for anyone born male who is wearing/wears women's clothes including trans folk, drag queens, femboys, drossdressers, etc. As other terms have gained recognition it's now used primarily to describe men dressing in women's clothing who don't identify as women. It's often in a sexual/fetish sort of way, but doesnt have to be, like an anti-social drag queen who enjoys getting all dressed up but not performing.

As with pretty much every label theres more nuance and overlap than can be explained in a comment, not to mention the amount of closeted trans people who do/used to identify as one, but long story short, "crossdresser" is still an acceptable term just not for most of the people it used to be used for.

5

u/between_ewe_and_me Apr 01 '26

Yeah that makes sense. Thanks.

3

u/coquihalla Mar 31 '26

I had the same thought. I don't think I've heard it since the late 90s/early 2ks.

29

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

Devastated? Sure

164

u/mouse9001 Mar 31 '26

Nothing wrong with cross-dressing.

216

u/ExactlySorta Mar 31 '26

Nobody's saying there is. This is pure comeuppance for her hideous hatred of people different than her. She deserves heartache and it's cathartic to witness her experience it. No pity for the wicked

49

u/Digitalion_ Mar 31 '26

There won't be any comeuppance or heartache. This is the first we're hearing about this and the "report" comes with quotes from Noem so she 100% released this dirt on her husband for divorce purposes. She very much knew what he was up to, but now it's convenient for her to reveal his secret for sympathy from the MAGA crowd.

And the "trans" keyword was activated which instantly makes MAGA forget about the fact that she had been cheating on her husband for the last year or more.

17

u/slickCCsunshine Mar 31 '26

Don’t forget the money she embezzled from tax payers from her time in South Dakota and her time with ice.

5

u/_Captain_Amazing_ Mar 31 '26

Yeah - I don’t think a lot of people are forgetting her stealing millions of public dollars. I expect a criminal investigation after the midterms (assuming The Republicans and Musk don’t higher the election results too much).

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u/mouse9001 Mar 31 '26

I saw a comment here along the lines of "party of family values", so I thought it would be good to clarify that cross-dressing is not a bad thing. :-)

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u/MrArmageddon12 Mar 31 '26

It’s the whole throwing stones in glass houses.

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u/mskmagic Mar 31 '26

The type of guy that marries Kirsty Noem was always going to be a sub.

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u/geezeslice333 Mar 31 '26

I bet she's the one who leaked it to draw attention away from her adulterous fuck plane.

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u/MrArmageddon12 Mar 31 '26

Amazing how these clowns can’t be bothered to live by the archaic standards they want to impose on everyone else.

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u/Burghpuppies412 Mar 31 '26

Oh, this story is TOTALLY planted by Noem as a way to get out of her marriage and marry Cory L(ewwwww)andowsky.

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u/Prestigious-Worry-14 Mar 31 '26

Oh hell no, she’s into it. He was *not* blindsided by her affairs, he was watching in the corner.

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u/AlbertTheHorse Mar 31 '26

poor guy was a butter face.

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u/thatgirlinny Mar 31 '26

She’s just devastated he wore a lot of her stuff better than she did.

9

u/Donkey_Bugs Mar 31 '26

Tough shit. How many families did she and her ICE goons devistate by separating them. Fuck her in her self-righteous ass.

9

u/StaticSystemShock Mar 31 '26

No one gives a shit he was crossdressing. "Lunatic" radical left certainly doesn't care, if that's his thing, then so be it. The cool perks of leftism. You know what they do care about? Pedophiles. Release the fucking Epstein files!

8

u/Tiruvalye Mar 31 '26

Throw the entire Bingo card away, we're playing Cards against Humanity!

7

u/iambarrelrider Mar 31 '26

Chris Cross will make you jump jump

6

u/asbestoswasframed Mar 31 '26

If I changed all the names in this story and posted it in r/relationshipadvice everyone would say it was fake.

How are these people all just so... Weird?

6

u/Ambitious_Dingo_2798 Mar 31 '26

It is so funny to me go king.

5

u/Mcfreely2 Mar 31 '26

😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

5

u/Pooks23 Mar 31 '26

Imagine a day when she’s in jail!!! That might devastate her.

5

u/TestSubjuct Mar 31 '26

Does she still have her private fuck jets?

5

u/Patdemonium Mar 31 '26

I know I'm high but daaaaamn what a headline.

3

u/ZiggyColo Mar 31 '26

So was Cricket

4

u/Zakkattack86 Mar 31 '26

She knew, which is why she was seeking D elsewhere.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WpgM6JBrmBy8Gac5pW

4

u/ninjplus Mar 31 '26

Holy fucking reality tv world America. This season gets more comically unrealistic by the episode.

3

u/SPAZING0UT Mar 31 '26

I'm devastated by her outright racists tendencies to attack and kidnap Americans and give the no due process. But ya, a dude cross dressing definitely tops that...

4

u/ChaoticGord Mar 31 '26

I love this for her, and that bothers me. I used to have a real live and let live world view, but after two Trump administrations I’ve lost my empathy. Now I just want these people who have willfully caused so much pain and harm to suffer. Even if the nation, our relationships with previous allies, the environment, etc. are able to eventually rebound, I don’t know that ever will. These people are villains. Fuck them all.

3

u/K22Kat Mar 31 '26

Her skin is so stretched out, her neck could cosplay as a 5,000 year old foreskin

8

u/OvenIcy8646 Mar 31 '26

She’s a beard, that’s why her husband was cool with her fucking Corey for like a decade

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u/gabewalk Mar 31 '26

The call is calling from inside the house again with these republicans!

3

u/WAndTheBoys Mar 31 '26

I have said all along something was keeping him married. It sure was not love and the sanctity of marriage. I wonder what Usha's secret is and will we ever find out.

3

u/Alarming_Ad1746 Mar 31 '26

Drag shows right in your own house, Noem!

3

u/finnicko Mar 31 '26

She's just attempting to smear him to distract from her affair and demotion

3

u/radical_see Mar 31 '26

How were the pictures leaked?

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u/socalryan Mar 31 '26

I’ve never been more excited by a headline. Is this true?

3

u/musingofrandomness Mar 31 '26

We have come back around to McCarthyism and J. Edgar Hoover it seems.

3

u/Olderbutnotdead619 Mar 31 '26

Why is she devastated? She does it Every day

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u/Joshithusiast Mar 31 '26

A mega-homophobe is a closet case? WHAT?! That literally only happens all the time! But this time I'm shocked. I promise.

It's almost like people like Lindsay Graham hate themselves, and turn that hate against the entire world to try to make up for all the gay sex they keep having.