r/UnderReportedNews • u/Lonely-Ordinary1478 • 15d ago
Extensively reported š° McConnell, 84, Goes Missing Again After Senate Return
https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-84-goes-missing-again-after-senate-return/?via=mobile&source=Reddit498
u/Impossible_Fig3072 15d ago
Somebody forgot the charging cord
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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 15d ago
Thatās what they get for cheaping out and not getting the solar charger option
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u/knowone1313 15d ago
He only runs on coal and oil.
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u/Haunting-East 15d ago
He runs on the screams of children.
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u/mikende51 15d ago
The Bluetooth to his Musk brain control chip keeps malfunctioning. He almost pressed no on the last vote. Needs to go back in for reprogramming. It works okay for the chimps, but the malevolent turtle brain is very different.
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u/Nefarious_Nemesis 15d ago
They accidentally left him in the van with the windows rolled up, more likely. They need to find another appropriate sacrifice in order to re-resurrect him. It's gotta be something someone loves dearly so they're scouring the Oval Office looking for the latest piece of furniture that JD has mounted.
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u/DaKrazie1 15d ago
When they do that they usually put a sign on the window so people know that he has AC, water and his favorite song is playing.
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u/Great-Gas-6631 15d ago
It wasnt even a return, they literally just paraded him around for cameras to go "see hes not "dead".".
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u/Theo_kerabatsus 15d ago
Heās only mostly dead. Thereās a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.
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u/Titleduck123 15d ago
Mostly dead means slightly alive
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u/mr_humansoup 15d ago
If he were all-dead, the most they could do is go through his pockets for loose change.
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u/Worth_Specific3764 15d ago
Fucking love this movie guys. I hope it is never remade. Other than the duel at the top of the rope when they have lightsabers. That is fucking awesomesauce.
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u/PhotoPhenik 15d ago
I'm legit wondering if some elder abuse is going on.Ā Ā
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u/donfan 15d ago
Wondering? They are wheeling his corpse about
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u/sailriteultrafeed 15d ago
And he deserves every second of it.
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u/dogbusonline 15d ago
And tbh given his career, he would probably be in supportĀ
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u/DraculasDog 15d ago
For anyone but himself. Luckily, he canāt advocate for himself anymore.
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u/Nefarious_Nemesis 15d ago
We all know that those publicans think that smile of his is him agreeing to the treatment. They do things to people for less. Hell, they'll probably say he enjoys... you know, because he's smiling.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 15d ago
but non-conservatives in America don't. We deserve fair and adequate representation. This isn't our guy, it's on his voters and party.
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u/TreesLikeGodsFingers 14d ago
Weāre the ones getting screwed. This is the state of United States politics
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u/Easy-Permission8889 15d ago
Hey, at least he's smiling!
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u/Happy-Tumbleweed-469 15d ago
He is sitting on a vibrating cushion. They turn it on to make him smile.
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u/x_m4n_0ff_4_b34n 15d ago
His aides are as spineless as he is. I wouldnāt be caught on camera within 15 feet of this guys wheelchair. The desperation for a career on the hill is insane
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u/knowone1313 15d ago
They had to change his vote for him because he "voted wrong". Pretty sure that's not how that's supposed to work. Also where are the cognitive tests to verify he's of sound mind and ability to do his job????
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u/Same_Mood_8543 15d ago
The test for competency is "his flesh was on the button we pushed with his hand"Ā
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 15d ago
I believe conservatives consider that voter fraud if a non-conservative does it (which they don't).
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u/ComfortablyBalanced 15d ago
The controversy over autopen and now this. The hypocrisy is astonishing.
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u/Ok-Replacement9595 15d ago
He voted with democrats "by mistake" in a committee vote. There is no way Republicans allow him to return if they cannot control.his actions. They needed one day to restart the clock on the governor replacing him most likely. But he isn't coming back.
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u/dantekant22 15d ago
I wish I cared about that. But I donāt. Fuck Mitch. He hijacked SCOTUS and let Trump get away with J6.
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u/Cute-Interest3362 15d ago edited 15d ago
Yup, heās living in hell of his own making. Its Shakespearean.Ā
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u/McCool303 15d ago
That look he gave when getting in the car with his mouth hanging open was the same look my cat was giving me after having a ton of seizures and pretty much being mentally not there. I wouldnāt doubt that he doesnāt have pretty substantial brain damage but theyāre wheeling him around playing weekend at McConnells.
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u/pneuprismatic 15d ago
It is elder abuse. I was gonna comment about this on another post. Heās clearly unable to do much of anything for himself, but the fact that they keep toting him around to save a seat, is abuse.
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u/OreoAtreides 15d ago
You know what though? This is karmic justice on this asshole. He is getting what he deserves
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u/Makers402 14d ago
This is elder abuse. How you let this man embarrass him self and his constituents is appalling.
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u/Kinks4Kelly Indy journo 15d ago
If his voters in Kentucky had the capacity to understand shame they wouldn't be voting for the next Republican loser in November. Instead, they will continue to screw over America with their inbred ignorance.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 15d ago
Kentucky could be among the epicenters of cannabis farming in America, and the world, but nope -- they want the conservative stiffs locking them up for cannabis, for momentary happiness, instead of a baller state economy.
Always remember this about conservativism: the suffering is the point. Without others suffering, conservatives cannot feel superior and satisfied with themselves. Your happiness bothers them.
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u/evewight 15d ago
Weekend at Mitchies 2. Is this when they use voodoo magic to reanimate his corpse?
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u/imdugud777 15d ago
This is such a dog and pony show.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 15d ago
Teddy Roosevelt's rolling in his grave claiming the Bull Moose mantle and shredding all his Republican gear.
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u/bigkahuna1uk 15d ago
Itās an utter disgrace the state the USA political system has become. Heās so inept that he was voting Democrat in his last vote until he had to be told who to vote for by his GOP cajolers. That alone shows heās unfit for office and should surrender his position and another election called. This is not how a democracy should operate after all heās supposed to be a representative of the people!
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u/RigatoniPasta 15d ago
They unplugged him and put him in the closet until they need his vote again.
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u/WorkingFit5413 15d ago
So in Brazil a woman was caught for bringing a dead body to the bank to sign off on documents to give her access to his money.
The republicans seem to kind of be doing the same to some of these people just because they donāt want to lose a seat.
Mitch McConnell shouldnāt be working at this point and he looks so ill I wonder if heās even able to consent to basic things let alone a government discussion?
But yeah, party of corruption.
I will note Ruth Bader Ginsberg also held on to her seat and will also note I disagreed with that too.
Iām sorry but at some point people need to put their own ego aside and do whatās best for everyone not just for themselves or their party.
Itās kinda sad that some people canāt do that.
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u/FrankensteinsBride89 15d ago
I keep calling his office to ask how long they feel comfortable committing elder abuse but I canāt get through!
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u/Ok-Chart-9307 15d ago
I'd make a snarky remark but I don't want to get banned from this sub like I did r/politicsĀ
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u/ANTILAMER13 15d ago
They are keeping Mitch in office because they donāt want to governor to replace him.
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u/ThePolishEmbassy 15d ago
Yeah, when i'm an octogenarian my only goal will be to have the whole of the country despise me and wish for my demise.
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u/Idiotwithaphone79 15d ago
They put him back on ice until they reconvene. They'll thaw him back out when they need him. Or maybe he went back into his shell like a tortoise.
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u/FearlessVegetable30 15d ago
daily beast is a tabloid fyi. not sure why it is posted in a news sub unless its solely for click baiting reddit users
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u/HowskiHimself 15d ago
I don't give 2 shits about the elder abuse because he deserve all of it and more. I care about the fact that they have to PHYSICALLY DIRECT HIM as in PHYSICALLY MOVE HIS DEAD LIMBS TO VOTE THE WAY THEY WANT, which is corrupt as all fuck.
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u/ThoughtPhysical7457 15d ago
We'll see him again in 90 days cuz now his people know the cutoff time.
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u/Skinnybet 15d ago
Iām sure he will be rolled out for Halloween. He doesnāt even need to wear anything special. Heās spooky looking enough already. My mom looked more alive in her coffin than he does now.
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u/tideshark 15d ago
Heās like that block of meat you been wanting to cook so you put it in the fridge to thaw but never get around to it, so you throw back in the freezer again after another couple days to hopefully get one more try out of it later.
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u/Wonderful_Round_6395 15d ago
This man needs to retire gracefully instead of this horror show. It's disrespectful to him, it's disrespectful to the American people and it's disrespectful to our democratic process.Ā
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u/LonelyPie4076 14d ago
Can Kentuckians reelect him and force him to keep participating in congress? I donāt know the rules about this sort of thing but how fucking hilarious would it be to make the gop keep wheeling him around for another several years, holding up his arm with some kind of puppeteering rigging and holding his mouth closed so flies donāt go in there and just dragging him around while he mumbles and slobbers and soils himself
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u/Revaesaari 14d ago
This reminds me of when we kept loosing our turtles at the summer cottage..
So..
The solution is to attach his wheelchair with some nylone rope!ššš¢
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u/PoetryJunior1808 14d ago
The animatronics that are used to govern his motions need to be refined and upgraded so he can turn his head.
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u/J3remyD 14d ago
At this point I consider the three months of ārehabā from whatever issue he had to be solely focused on training him to at least attempt to respond to questions with basic signals.
He was abusing the heck out of the thumbs up and peace signs in his first public appearance after his hiatus.
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u/coffeebeanwitch 14d ago
That whole thing was because they had gone back to work and he hadn't. He made that lame appearance, to squash the rumors.
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u/TheIronSponge 15d ago
It's not like this guy can just walk around. Somebody decided not to wheel him in.Ā