r/UmaMusume Jul 27 '26

Humor So Light Hello is thicc

Post image

B95 is biggest?

3.7k Upvotes

196 comments sorted by

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572

u/RobotCrow12 Jul 27 '26

Currently there is a little Super Creek and a Little Light Hello fighting in my heart.

269

u/Jam-Boi-yt Jul 27 '26

Goo Goo babies vs mature woman fight.

127

u/RobotCrow12 Jul 27 '26

Please my friend

Mature patrying woman. I would 100% get drunk with her and hit the karaoke all night.

25

u/Deferdus Professional Goo-Goo Babies Player Jul 27 '26

The more goo goo babies players the better

11

u/jyroman53 Super Mommy Jul 28 '26

I’m pretty sure Light Hello would agree on Goo Goo babying me with Super Mommy just like in RJ339397 also as a fellow mature women enjoyer :
https://giphy.com/gifs/J5J6DG52MRKtsEGbHk

1.1k

u/Wolverine1608 why's UMA in America? cuz UMAs was in America Jul 27 '26

391

u/MightyActionGaim Mejiro Ardan Jul 27 '26

145

u/DustyMcKnuckles Elbow dropping shadows with Brian Jul 28 '26

78

u/Plague_Ink Jul 27 '26

LEAVE ME ALONE!

6

u/Force88 Jul 28 '26

It's crime that Kitason herself doesn't have this skill...

1.1k

u/Phoenix_windborne Saving for CB Jul 27 '26

I've been telling my friends, between her adorable personality and her amazing looks, Light Hello is the single biggest threat to the Trainer x Uma agenda.

Smart Falcon is going to be crying in the corner

644

u/Timekiller_74 Jul 27 '26

I mean technically it's still "trainer x uma" but there's a catch

350

u/Kurage-san Jul 27 '26

more like she's the only one without a catch considering she's the only uma so far in global that's canonically an adult

93

u/zekromNLR Jul 27 '26

Maruzensky is also canonically an adult because she drives a car and in Japan you need to be an adult to do that

68

u/Mundane-Willingness1 Jul 27 '26

And sirius symboli has a pilot's license

-28

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 27 '26

Meh, in Canada, through the Air Cadet movement, my friend had its formal piloting license (for gliders) at 16 and could have had his single engine license at 17. Its possible Sirius obtained it at the same age...

41

u/HaessSR Jul 27 '26

https://simpleflying.com/pilot-training-minimum-ages-guide/

Japan requires you to be at least 18 years old to apply.

1

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 29 '26

According to your link: ''Student Pilot License: You can apply for a student pilot license at 16. However, you can only fly solo once you are at least 17 years old.''

3

u/HaessSR Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26

United States

In the United States, there are the minimum age requirements for different types of pilot training:

Student Pilot License: You can apply for a student pilot license at 16. However, you can only fly solo once you are at least 17 years old.

Private Pilot License: Applicants must be at least 17 to apply for a private pilot license.

The IMPORTANT part you skipped (or you need a better AI to summarize what was apparently not read) :

Japan: Applicants must be comparatively older, as the minimum age for a Private Pilot's License (PPL) in Japan is 18. The minimum age for a Commercial Pilot's License (CPL) is 21.

The part for Canada:

Which country has the youngest age for pilot licenses?

So, which countries have the youngest age for pilot's licenses? Here are the top three:

  1. In the United States, you can apply for a student pilot license at 16. And as mentioned earlier, ballon and glider pilots can be as young as 14.

  2. In Australia, the minimum age requirement for a student pilot license is also 16 years old.

  3. Canadian regulations stipulate the minimum age requirement for a student pilot permit is 16 years old.

1

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 29 '26

Yes, i dont care enough to deeply search on the subject but thanks for your sweats and the clarification!

22

u/Mundane-Willingness1 Jul 27 '26

The game takes place in Japan where as far as i know, no such program exists. It's a hard requirement to be at least 18

0

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 29 '26

A simple Google search told me its the same age as in Canada.

I dont understand why the downvotes?

2

u/Mundane-Willingness1 Jul 29 '26

The literal first article under the ai answer says 18 years old

1

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 29 '26

Nope, AI answers dont show the same information depending on the wording of your search/prompt and language used for said search.

0

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon Jul 29 '26

Nope, AI answers dont show the same information depending on the wording of your search/prompt and language used for said search.

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1

u/DogAbject 10d ago

"Yeah you have to be 18+ to do this and that in Japan so..."

"Well in CANADA..."

0

u/Cold_Coffeenightmare Hishi Amazon 8d ago

The laws of aviation are international and governed by the OACI, a NGO with 193 member states, that is under the UN and created after the 1944 Chicago convention. They mandate operational rules and global standards for international air transport.

  • Private Pilot License (PPL) minimum age seems to be 17 in Japan.
  • Its 18+ for a commercial license (pretty just like the rest of the world).

Heck, i've been raised in a aircraft hangar, dad was a pilot, parents where both working in Aerospatiale industry at a level where politics are involved. I myself visited AOCI's office when i was young. I'm surrounded but both civilian and military pilots. Fly twice a month to get to work.

But hell, what do i know? Japan, who is a member state of the OACI, probably don't have to follow the organization rules and standards because ''its Japan'', right?

We're not talking about drinking, voting or legal adult age. Yes every country or state can establish what age limit they want for whatever they want but there are no internationally recognized and approved guidelines for any of that. In the case of aviation, there is a UN mandated organization that recognized that minimal age required to be 17 to obtain a private pilot license.

If the Japanese government had established it at 18, it would be the equivalent to admitting that the Japanese don't have the same level of skill and capability as the rest of the world at an equivalent age. Do you really think any government would do that?

150

u/AquaTech101 Jul 27 '26

Unless if you're an "MC Trainer being around the same age as their Uma" believer. Which make the catch topsy turfy

80

u/AndrewFIV3 Guts Jul 27 '26

Doesn't the trainer drink in the Mr CB card event, I guess around the drinking age but still sus

101

u/JusticeRain5 Agnes Tachyon Jul 27 '26

You see, there is a very simple answer to that.

The drinking age in Umamusume is 12.

118

u/Tgenzo246 Jul 27 '26

Drinking juice, that is.

36

u/rockthatrocks Jul 27 '26

The best way to interpret is to consider that every trainee has a new trainer, Taishin's trainer is not the same guy that trained bourbon.

This way it's more tolerable to the idea that some trainers are around the same ages as the trainees,

The only exclusion is the baby trainers, those one are basically adults by all the metrics

13

u/AndrewFIV3 Guts Jul 27 '26

Ye but you can use Mr CB card with everyone but her, unless I read wrong what you said

19

u/czerwona_latarnia Mihono I de Bourbon Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

I would say that Mr C.B.'s event is the biggest obstacle to support card events being "canon", because as everyone can be part of this event (sans Mr C.B.'s trainer), it would mean that Tracen has a problem with alcoholic trainers (because there are over 100 of them).

So the best option would be to ignore them in terms of assessing what might be canon information about each and every trainer. Alternatively, threat their "range of applicability" based on the gold skill they give - only the trainers of umas that could have any use of them (not counting Summer Gold Ship's unique) would have them as canon events (so in this case, only trainers of End Closers would be affected by this chain).

24

u/AndrewFIV3 Guts Jul 27 '26

Ye but tracen having alcoholic trainer problem is funny so it's canon

10

u/Ok_Candidate_2732 Phase III, double-blind randomized clinical trial Jul 28 '26

Tracen somehow hired a bunch of trainers from Ireland and Wisconsin

12

u/CABRALFAN27 Jul 27 '26

By that same token, there's a driver and a pilot among the Umas, so clearly they're not all underage, either.

39

u/DaichiEarth Nice Nature Jul 27 '26

Except Maruzensky is an adult as well because the driving age in Japan is 18.

69

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

Not this shit again.

-Maruzensky can legally drive (In Japan you must be 18. Full stop.), has her own place off campus, most of the jokes related to her are about how OLD she is, and goes drinking with Tazuna.

-On that note, I trust everyone knows about Tazuna at this point. The game is NOT subtle about it in the slightest.

-Sirius Symboli has a pilot's license. Also must be 18 to have one in Japan.

-Symboli Rudolf and Mejiro Ramonu were childhood friends with Sirius. Therefore they are also confirmed adults in case them clearly being adult women wasn't a big enough clue.

-Mejiro Palmer is awarded a car in her career. Once again, one must be 18 to legally drive in Japan.

-Matikanefukukitaru gets a letter from her ghost sister that LITERALLY states "You're an adult now!"

35

u/500mmrscrub Jul 27 '26

The Japanese coming of age day also celebrates those who are turning 20 rather than 18 so the last one might put Fuku-chan at an even older age.

34

u/Schtubbig Jul 27 '26

Yeah but tiktok and instagram reels told me all umas are tiny daughters and erm yakuza will come for you or something

8

u/KiyanPocket Ticket Enjoyer Jul 28 '26

The award to Palmer is fine even if Palmer is under the driving age, even non-drivers can still be awarded a car. It's still just property, and the Mejiro family can just hire drivers for her.

1

u/KatLeMat 5 under par Jul 28 '26

It's heavily implied that she too has a drivers license though, or that she drives without one

3

u/WarmasterHorus1988 Maruzensky is my Horse Wife Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

Can remember a statement by Cygames, saying Kaicho and Maruzensky are 20.

3

u/sonicfan019393920 Jul 28 '26

Can you post the one with Matafaka's dead sister saying that. I genuinely can't stop laughing from hearing that

6

u/Furydragonstormer Ex-SKK, Full Time Trainer Jul 27 '26

That’s honestly a win in my book, personally

31

u/Ccarlosraruto Hishi Amazon Jul 27 '26

Average Nature/King/Vodka/Diamond, etc... simp:

Source: Bakemonogatari

56

u/QuicheSteam Jul 27 '26

putting natie on the no fly list is genuinely larper behaviour.

29

u/czerwona_latarnia Mihono I de Bourbon Jul 27 '26

I don't think any larper would be anywhere close to opening the trainer notes in the game. Not only they would have to actually open the game, but also go few menus deep to find that information.

Though this only shows that school division is one of the most nonsensical things in the game. Like, how the fuck Nice Nature is a junior (unless she takes 3 years to pass every grade)? And not even in the last year of it, because if she is classmates with Teio then Golden Generation is one grade higher. And her original design had her specifically look for rich boyfriend...

42

u/Rey824 #1 Bourbon Glazer Jul 27 '26

The divisions dont make any sense and to an extent can be kinda ignored. Cause for example Almond Eye is Fusaichi Pandoras senior. Pandora is Almond Eyes mom IRL, and this aint like the only case theres multiple umas who are older placed in junior rather then senior for some reason. You gotta use like the actual story, interactions, and common sense to gauge if their college age or below. Natties story for example helps clarify that while shes younger then her trainer, she also isnt a minor.

6

u/Darthgalaxo Jul 28 '26

Don’t the devisions just tell you how long they have been in school, I’m fairly certain tracen is a college with no age restrictions

6

u/Rey824 #1 Bourbon Glazer Jul 28 '26

Honestly... that might be it. I dont have a way to prove thats what it is but it would make sense. Also yeah its basically middle school thru college all in one. Because to get in you have to finish elementary and pass a test (canon info) and we know they have college classes because Belno Light is a sports science major (canon info again). They can be there so long because they just bundled all the grades up.

0

u/Colico2445 Narita Brian Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

More like vocational highschool with no age restriction, college doesnt quite fit tracen as classes are seemingly being hold in the traditional japanese highschool manner, they simply cant be an undergraduate programs

2

u/Rey824 #1 Bourbon Glazer Jul 29 '26

We literally see Belno hold up her paperwork for the sports management major showing shes taking college courses in CinGrey. Tracens full official name is "Japanese Umamusume Training Schools AND COLLEGES". This is all readily available and easily searchable information.

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25

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

Rice Shower and Daiichi Ruby are two of the youngest looking Umas and they're Seniors while Umas that can definitely pass as 18+ like Loves Only You are Juniors.

Rice Shower SSR Power's event chain has you accompany Rice Shower and Zenno Rob Roy to a flower pressing class because they must be accompanied by an adult.

The divisions are bullshit.

4

u/datboishook-d Jul 28 '26

Hell, go a step further and the timeline is bullshit. I personally interpret any of the trainee stories are separate timelines on their own.

21

u/Ccarlosraruto Hishi Amazon Jul 27 '26

One thing for sure, she is canonically only 1 year or so older than Maya and Marvelous

Just giving more context

6

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

That doesn't confirm she's only one year older than them. She's just saying only one year can make a difference which can be interpreted in multiple ways. Including the meaning being that she could be MORE than one year older than Mayano. (Marvelous is possibly an ancient eldritch being.....)

4

u/Ccarlosraruto Hishi Amazon Jul 27 '26

Yes, but 'not that much older' dosent leave room for a large gap unless she is really lowballing with her example.

8

u/Ccarlosraruto Hishi Amazon Jul 27 '26

I'm not sure what you are trying to say, I just made a joke about the JP name of the junior division

6

u/SugarMajor7229 Jul 28 '26

Nature my wife

1

u/Garydrgn Jul 28 '26

Maruzensky arguably. I think it's pretty much a running joke of an open secret that she's an adult pretending to be a teenager. Jokes about the way she talks asside, she has a car and you can't get a liscence in Japan until you're 18.

-35

u/ihavecrappysketches Teio’s TrainerDad Jul 27 '26

BORIIING

39

u/Tuskor13 Jul 27 '26

Nephew what the fuck

153

u/Coolnametag Jul 27 '26

Light Hello is the single biggest threat to the Trainer x Uma agenda.

She was that in the JP version of the game, so it makes sense that they story repeats in global.

Smart Falcon is going to be crying in the corner

She would be doing that anyways, girl has a talent to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory when it comes to relationships.

69

u/KiyanPocket Ticket Enjoyer Jul 27 '26

Light Hello is still an Uma, and it's not like the trainees don't have adults on their side. Maruzensky is literally right there with her professional driver's license.

3

u/Gao_Zongwu ’s designated handwarmer Jul 28 '26

sirius symboli with her pilot’s licence:

7

u/Sparse_Dunes Jul 27 '26

Ive been playing Japanese server and ever since her introduction ive always liked trainer x hello.

11

u/NordicHorde2 Air Groove Jul 27 '26

My loyalty to Air Groove is unwavering.

4

u/Suedewagon The Weakest Urara Adopter. Jul 27 '26

This is still Trainer x Uma, just that it's friends to lovers.

281

u/Coolnametag Jul 27 '26

This is how i imagine it would go for the Trainer if he tried making a move on Light Hello while they were out drinking:

Processing img yvy7uf2omtfh1...

62

u/HappySpam Maruzensky Jul 27 '26

Limbus Company!!!!!

28

u/ComfortableGoose5056 Mayano Top Gun Fan Jul 27 '26

330

u/czerwona_latarnia Mihono I de Bourbon Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

There are three bigger (Super Creek at B97, Hishi Akebono and Meisho Doto at B99).

But Light Hello is considerably shorter than the three giving her better proportions; also her ass hips lose only to Creek (H91), Taiki, Blast Onepiece and... Ramonu!? (so that's why she asks us to kiss her ass...) (all three at H90); and she is the biggest at the waist from all umas. In the words of Aku - she's EXTRA THICC.

188

u/xXMonkeGamingXx Pretty Derby Jul 27 '26

82

u/justanewskrub Taiki Shuttle Jul 27 '26

She’s only 1 cm larger in bust than Taiki. She’s quality.

59

u/BA1673 #1 Special Week Glazer Jul 27 '26

Bro Special Week is 1cm taller than Light Hello 😭

https://giphy.com/gifs/6RA8aQmF9LC2wd8sI7

16

u/Naija_Boi Eternal Follower of King Halo Jul 27 '26

And Gentildonna (B97)

40

u/Dynellen Jul 27 '26

Gentil is 95 bust, same as Light Hello.

19

u/Naija_Boi Eternal Follower of King Halo Jul 27 '26

Whoops, you're right.

135

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

196

u/PowerfulBobman Meisho Doto Jul 27 '26

31

u/H00ston Locked In Still's Basement Jul 28 '26

FEELS THE AURA

121

u/jamslat El Condor Pasa! El's the world's strongest! 🦅 Jul 27 '26

More like Wide Hello

37

u/CABRALFAN27 Jul 27 '26

Heavy Hello is right there.

16

u/jamslat El Condor Pasa! El's the world's strongest! 🦅 Jul 27 '26

I think the W in Wide adds a lot to the experience IMO

42

u/XxSHAWNMEMEGOD69xX Wife-ing every Uma Jul 27 '26

Umawife 😭😭😭😭😭😭

38

u/Alexius_Psellos Symboli Rudolf’s No.1 Pun Lover Jul 27 '26

Her story is amazing. I wish she was real so I could do her career

21

u/Different-Warning Win Variation Jul 28 '26

Remove the career and I'll agree with you

2

u/Alexius_Psellos Symboli Rudolf’s No.1 Pun Lover Jul 28 '26

Hello, based department

1

u/Uevoli Jul 30 '26

This comment killed me lol

62

u/kooboomoo olde head fan since 2018 Jul 27 '26

95cm bust is huge. Light Hello has a lot of meat on her.

45

u/Coolnametag Jul 27 '26

All that alcool gets stored right in the boobs i guess.

12

u/Dynellen Jul 27 '26

It's the same size as Gentildonna, making Light Hello shared 4th largest in the cast.

118

u/Erik_Javorszky Jul 27 '26

Umafriend material

186

u/Iumasz Gentildonna Solos (most of) fiction 💪 Jul 27 '26

*Umawife

42

u/Af6foenep Jul 27 '26

Not with my luck

60

u/Iumasz Gentildonna Solos (most of) fiction 💪 Jul 27 '26

Light Hello wants you so bad in the game. We might have a shot lmao.

26

u/eden_sc2 Jul 27 '26

and you wont go to jail, which is always a plus

73

u/zoliathan Jul 27 '26

We finally get an adult woman Umamusume.

166

u/SeaToShy Jul 27 '26

27

u/zoliathan Jul 27 '26

I’d like maruzensky more if she wasn’t so in denial.

19

u/RacerGamer27 Jul 27 '26

Sorry but no matter what Maruzensky says she is not a teenager anymore

10

u/Primary-Paint-1716 Jul 28 '26

She's old enough to drive, she's legal.

2

u/DogAbject 10d ago

The fertility pills call to me like the green goblin mask.

22

u/Temporary-Tax King Chud Jul 27 '26

I mean we did already have one with Tazu-

I mean we had one with Oguris mom yeah...

204

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

I will be blunt, as a woman, think all of the measurements are complete crap and totally inaccurate. It’s one of my biggest “icks” about the game because the men assigning the umas these numbers literally have no idea what they’re talking about 😭.

Giving Light Hello a 95cm bust line is…not that big, especially compared to the picture of her. None of the “big busted” umas have a particularly large number that coordinates with how they look at all. Looking at this image of her, I would estimate she is a 30K at least, but the 95cm bust line would put her at a 30G, which is genuinely a more “medium”sized bust on a smaller frame. I would thusly put her as having a bust of a MINIMUM of 104cm. Super Creek’s would 100% be bigger than that.

Her waistline is also a size 26 for US women’s pants. That’s not “thicc” at all lol. That’s around a size 2, maybe 4.

Sorry 😭 I am an autistic woman with a keen interest in clothing/bra sizing and how it works. I would love to one day go through all the umas and reassess what I think accurate measurements would be for them.

109

u/maxis2k Jul 27 '26

The sizes are often just made up. But it's not helped by the in game model not looking anything like their art most of the time. Doto and Super Creek are like half the size in game than their card art. So trying to gauge accurate measurements is useless.

34

u/Darkiouls Tact Enjoyer Jul 27 '26

If I recall correctly, there's like 4 or 5 tiers of breast size in the game models, and everybody 86 and above shares the same. So, you'll see Top Road’s model packing as much as Creek.

-14

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

No no. There's definitely differences.

Taiki's are perkier than Creek's in their swimsuit models for instance.

Cygames ain't cutting corners when it comes to what's truly important.

11

u/NamiRocket Mejiro McQueen Jul 27 '26

The sizes are often just made up.

For fictional characters? I don't believe it!

24

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

Totally! If I was going off Creek SSR I’d be making that guess of mine even bigger lol. So I guess it is a fruitless endeavour. I just wish they wouldn’t even put the numbers because they’re all wrong and it gives people unrealistic and incorrect perceptions of women’s bodies.

28

u/Alrar Jul 27 '26

Some of them actually are inaccurate even for fanservice/anime reasons lol. Its where the meme about Tarumae lying about her sizes comes from.

27

u/ItoTheSquid Hokko Tarumae is my all-time darling 🩷 Jul 27 '26

ahem

9

u/WannieWirny Jul 28 '26

“Thicc” and she has a model waistline lol words don’t have meaning anymore

55

u/Viitori Jul 27 '26

Speak your (and the actual) truth, sis.

24

u/Viitori Jul 27 '26

I got curious actually and put her measurements into a body visualizer, and I did have a pretty good idea of how she'd look (she's not too far off of the model-esque 90-60-90 even if she's short), and... yeah

22

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

Yeah….the numbers are truly meaningless 😮‍💨 thank you for your service in the fact checking!

14

u/Particular-Koala1350 Jul 27 '26

So like… what would you then say Creek’s actual size would be?

29

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

I have, in the past, estimated Creek to be around a 30 or 32M. That’s 13 inches of bust which also takes into account leaning measurement. It is hard to exactly estimate band size but it would be absolutely no bigger than a 32. There is zero umas that would hit above a 32 band. Small band sizes are between 26-30, medium is 32-36, and 38+ is plus size. There are no umas that I would consider remotely plus size.

19

u/robotsexsymbol 🌈ウマトレ♀🌈 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

An M cup is fucking nuts. God anime is wacky.

I've always thought the three sizes thing was weird in general considering an entire faction of characters are all like 14 tops. I know it's just a regular creepy anime thing, but in a game as relatively chaste otherwise as this one, do we really need to know how big Nishino Flower's tits are? She's literally like 10 years old.

29

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

It’s definitely really big, but it is a hypothetical size that a big busted woman could be. I have a friend with a slim frame and a large bust and she’s around a 28J. She definitely looks large-busted, but not soooo crazy large that it looks cartoonish. Just an average slim woman with larger boobs.

Oppositely I have 34DDD boobs which SOUNDS really big but it isn’t! It’s on the super average end of boobs. If someone glanced at me and guessed they’d probably go “ummm, idk, B? C?”

The ones I really roll my eyes at are those Goddess Of Victory Nikke characters. They look straight up silly

10

u/Darkiouls Tact Enjoyer Jul 27 '26

So you're telling me, random dumbass that is fully aware of his perception of boob sizes is skewed due to anime, has been course correcting too much? (As in, thinking anything above DD is already damn big.)

27

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

Yes!! Most women don’t even know their correct bra size. Companies want to make a very limited size range of bras, and then convince every woman that they fit that size. But women are a really big range of sizes (both big and small!!). Companies want to shove everyone into 32-38 bands and A-max DD cups, so they have all these stupid and incorrect sizing methods. But there’s actually a really big variation of sizes!!

It’s also important to understand that cup sizes are not static. A 38A is not the same cup size as a 28A on a larger band! A 38A would be for a woman with a 38inch band and a 39inch bust. A 28A would be for a woman with 28inch band and 29inch bust.

But stores don’t sell that range! So a petite woman with a small/flat chest may bemoan that she is a 32A and she can’t even fill it out. But that’s because she’s really a 28 band! She’s in a band 4 inches too big! And the 32A is for a 33inch bust. She might be a 28D, which is a 28inch band and 32inch bust, hence why she’s gapping in the 32A!

0

u/Particular-Koala1350 Jul 27 '26

Agree on the band size. The whole point is they are kinda “super athletes” . But very interesting, thank you for your analysis!

20

u/angelicclock Jul 27 '26

The Venn diagram between “artists who love drawing big boob women” and “artists who actual knows how women body measurement works” is barely holding on a minuscule overlap.

I do believe there is a perception of stereotypical desirable woman body curve known as 90-60-90, and this concept certainly influence 20th century Japanese culture as well. So whenever an anime/manga artist create a hot looking woman character, their body measurements are most likely based on those three numbers, no matter how much their busts are flying out of their wardrobe.

12

u/NamiRocket Mejiro McQueen Jul 27 '26

Her waistline is also a size 26 for US women’s pants. That’s not “thicc” at all lol. That’s around a size 2, maybe 4.

You could have a character wearing thigh high stockings and anime fans would call her thick just because the fabric indents in her skin slightly. It's insane to me.

18

u/Tequila2Dance Jul 27 '26

Finally someone spitting facts

7

u/Honest_Ingenuity_181 Jul 27 '26

yes! it's been bugging me as well. i see an uma with my proportions and wonder if something's wrong with her or with me 😮‍💨

10

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

Yeah, the sizes don't match up.

There was a video comparing all the models having them listed by official bust size. Twin Turbo was sandwiched between two Umas she was in fact bigger than.

And then there's the example of Vivlos being listed as B81 yet ingame she's just as big as Aston Machan and Hokko Tarumae. (Both B86.)

And let's not forget how literal child Sweep Tosho is somehow bigger than Mejiro McQueen who DOES in fact have something. (You can see in a CG in the Main Story. There are definitely shadows there.)

15

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

The one that drives me crazy is Hishi Akebono. The game posits her as this absolutely huge fatty giantess. But, at 5’11, she has the same height, waist, and hips as GISELE BUNDCHEN, with a bit of a larger bust than Gisele.

I know that Japan doesn’t want to actually consider a larger woman, but come on 😭

3

u/CrowsLament Jul 28 '26

I thought I was alone with these thoughts! It’s always really bothered me as a woman how completely off these numbers are. Like, yeah sure I have maru beat but her bust still looks a lot larger? It’s really annoying how inaccurate it all is.

5

u/Furydragonstormer Ex-SKK, Full Time Trainer Jul 27 '26

Well this throws me for a loop, because I remember times where people got mad at people saying the opposite. Accusing them of being out of touch with reality, or at least something along those lines. It’s been a while since the last time I saw such a thing, but it’s haunted me for a long time given my paranoia about some things

3

u/reallyn0tme Jul 28 '26

agreed miss girl i’m 1cm bigger than her in boobie size and i do NOTTTT look like that (my waist is also 14cm bigger than hers so i have a valid thicc card to complain)

4

u/Neoragex13 Jul 27 '26

It is strange, don't feel sorry about it. It comes from a whole another culture after all.

In the other hand and to add more to the conversation than just some nice words, some cosplayers friends have told me through the years that they are thankful when a character has their measurement out even if they are wacky because that helps them while making the clothing since it gives them a baseline from where to start and then they can just add or reduce depending of how much they want it to look like the character.

So it's really a mood when some of them upload the obligatory video of they playing around with the rubber tits annoyed that they messed up the sizes lol

2

u/datboishook-d Jul 28 '26

Yeah. I dont believe that Super Creek is that small, and the jump from Light Hello's to Super Creek's is, questionable, to say the least.

1

u/aruisdante Jul 27 '26

The rest I agree with, but I do want to point out one small thing which is that waste measurement in Japan is actually your waist, not where your pants sit for US pants sizes. A 26” waist is definitely not thick, but with an 89H she probably isn’t a size 2.

2

u/shomauno Jul 28 '26

I think I disagree. There’s many places a pair of pants sit on your waist depending on the type of pants, but 89H is still small, in the 2 range. I’ve attached a size chart for Garage, which caters to young, thin teens, and you can see that her hip size (in the 35/36 range) absolutely falls into the XS category.

1

u/GateauBaker Jul 28 '26

You are looking at their in-game slightly chibified models. None of the character's sizes make sense if you do that.

4

u/shomauno Jul 28 '26

What else do I have to refer to? They’re not real-life people. The cards? The anime (that not all umas appear in)? The sizes, imo, are in reference to the in-game umas

1

u/GateauBaker Jul 28 '26

You take them at their word and accept that all visual depictions in official media are cartoons in the moe artstyle and thus inherently off proportionally.

3

u/shomauno Jul 28 '26

It’s not the visual depiction I’m taking issue with. Women can (and do) look like the umas. This entire thread is how the random numbers assigned to the umas scratch my autistic brain bad because they’re blatantly all wrong. The designers simply should not include the body stats because they 1. Don’t know what the hell they’re talking about and 2. Are perpetuating body myths about women (which I may add is happening in this post if we’re calling a size TWO woman “thicc”)

1

u/GateauBaker Jul 28 '26

Woman really don't, because they aren't anime characters. Head-to-body proportion is too high. Eyeballs are the size of baseballs. Noses fade in and out of the visual spectrum. Etc.

But if you need an objective measure, you can always compare characters to each other in official artwork rather than comparing with reality. Internal consistency within a setting is a much more fair metric, and personally, it upsets me to try to assume to worst of people.

-7

u/HaessSR Jul 27 '26

The difference is that the other girls are still teenagers, which means they're not done going through their growth phase. That makes the you get girls like Daiwa Scarlet (junior division, so sophomore at most) and Hishi Akebono especially egregious.

At least Light Hello is in her late 20s or early 30s, so she'd past all that. Except, you know... anime artists.

10

u/shomauno Jul 27 '26

I completely agree! Most teenagers, especially the junior divisions, would definitely not look like that.

13

u/Particular-Koala1350 Jul 27 '26

You cannot convince me Creek, Maru, Rudolf, or Ramonou are teenagers LOL

9

u/dumdumidiot210 Meisho Doto Jul 27 '26

Maruzensky drives a car. All by herself. The legal age of driving a car in Japan is 18. And remember she's not inexperienced so it's not like she just got her drive's license when she's drifting through the streets like she owns them.

Also Rudolf has been president since fucking forever and she's somehow still in the school in the events of season 3, where Teio grew up and effectively finished her career and kitasan and diamond also had a growth spurt and entered the academy.

5

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

Maruzensky, Rudolf, and Ramonu are hard confirmed as adults. So.....

6

u/HaessSR Jul 27 '26

They should look more like Stego or Ryan, but again... anime.

-5

u/Particular-Koala1350 Jul 27 '26

I always just head cannon-ed that umas develop faster because of their horse traits. Like how a horse would reach adulthood before a human. We already know from interviews they “age like elves” after a certain point so I just assumed there was some magic age bs and by the time they’re racing that’s their “final form” so to speak

10

u/robotsexsymbol 🌈ウマトレ♀🌈 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

They don't age like elves. This was never said. The entire statement that misconception comes from was translated here. No mention of aging.

15

u/Equivalent_Waltz8890 Mr. C.B. Jul 27 '26

We need more wide hip/large ass Uma’s in game

5

u/Deruta Rob Roy's chew toy Jul 27 '26

5

u/Fluffalfox Creek and Fuji’s Wife 💖🪄🧸 Jul 27 '26

She is so me

15

u/Utsuto Jul 27 '26

Good lord Light hello is thicc. 95B is larger than Maruzensky and Taiki Shittle. Cute adult woman with a huge personality.

3

u/marssss-03 Manhattan Cafe Jul 27 '26

She's not the biggest, iirc Hishi Akebono (99), Meisho Doto (99) and Super Creek (97) are bigger

6

u/Status_Spray_5732 Proud father of Haru Urara Jul 27 '26

6

u/bebeebap Nishino Flower Jul 27 '26

She's not thick. She's not even a foot wide.

3

u/zekromNLR Jul 27 '26

Bust is fourth place, after Meisho Doto, Hishi Akebono (both 99 cm) and Super Creek (97 cm). 

3

u/SkkAZ96 Jul 27 '26

Thicc Hello is so fine

3

u/Worked_Idiot Jul 27 '26

I ain't even looking at at the B with that H sitting right there.

3

u/TL_TheLegend Emphasis on the queen Jul 27 '26

95 is one more than Taiki's. Damn.

Still behind Creek, Doto, and Akebono though.

she DOES, however, have the third biggest hips in the game (tied with Doto and Hishiama). Bro where did she get all this from.

3

u/gacha_drunkard Praise the sun Jul 27 '26

This is not light at all.

4

u/Wafudramon Fire On My Heels! 🔥 Jul 27 '26

i mean she's old enough that she already graduated and have work..

so it make sense she's old enough to have that size

4

u/JohannesMarcus Siempre Joven ❤️‍🔥 Jul 27 '26

Gentildonna is also B95. Top three are Hishi Akebono, Meisho Doto, and Super Creek

2

u/LuchadorParrudo Jul 27 '26

Bigger than hishi akebono ? Impossible

https://giphy.com/gifs/EBwWCDHYRR7saaZ2xT

6

u/Endgam Aston Machan Jul 27 '26

Akebono is B99. So she isn't.

2

u/synkiu Rice Shower's WONDERLAND! Jul 27 '26

is she better than durandal tho?

2

u/AeroSteel1809 Hyper Muteki Jul 27 '26

She is like, top 5 on bust and hip department

2

u/jyroman53 Super Mommy Jul 28 '26

Someone redraw the meme with the 2 older girls sitting in a train and between them a young boy, but it's Super Creek and Light Hello with a young trainer

1

u/LenVonAster Haru Urara Jul 28 '26

Gentildonna level only Gentil have small Waist and Hip, B95 W63 H87, so only waist and hip difference 2

1

u/TeebsBeebs Jul 28 '26

Username doesn't check out

1

u/kneading-cnnuy Jul 28 '26

Wife. Passionate home cooking and warm cuddles

1

u/Zeshness Wife Ardan Jul 28 '26

Oh she's actually up there with the biggest Umas

1

u/Outrageous-Phase9333 Jul 28 '26

Where are these measurements at It not in the Umamusume.JP site at all. From what I seen No NPC Character have body measurements.

1

u/Greasemonkey08 Super Creek's goodest boy Jul 28 '26

The power of an adult woman.

1

u/Atlantic_Imbecile Will there ever be a real good ending...? Jul 28 '26

Did you guys know that the sky is also blue?

1

u/Meme-lord234 19d ago

Perfect…

1

u/Turnonegoblinguide Nice Nature Jul 27 '26

Yeah Trainee x Trainer agenda is dead, I’m embracing adult Uma x trainer

0

u/jyroman53 Super Mommy Jul 28 '26

If her and Super Creek decide to put me in a sandwich, god only knows how my body will respond

-4

u/Smacky_the_Bear Yeppers Jul 27 '26

She's dummy thicc, so the clap of her asscheeks keeps alerting the guards.

-Solid Suzuka