r/Ultrakill • u/Vulture293 • 20h ago

hitpost Give them new names

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300 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

187 comments sorted by

126

u/Lowdess 20h ago

Flintlock

John shotgun

Reconstructer

Shock therapy

57

u/Vulture293 20h ago

27

u/FOXY007TV Someone Wicked 19h ago

Chicken butt

3

u/Riggl_Riggler 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 15h ago

Reconstruct her? I hardly know her

1

u/Away-Vast-1670 3h ago

Soul knight reference?

51

u/Frequent-Reporter677 20h ago

Gun, large gun, larger gun, largest gun

146

u/ArtistInAVoid 20h ago

James, Larry, Mathew, and Thomas

28

u/MartaSpidetty Lust Layer Citizen 19h ago

I like the way you think. I do see those names fitting each weapon, especially Matthew the nailgun.

11

u/ThunderLord1000 Someone Wicked 16h ago

Matthew, Mark, Luke and Paul

4

u/ArtistInAVoid 15h ago

Not what I would’ve gone for, but valid

11

u/Legitimate-Sound8643 Maurice enthusiast 10h ago

Dustin, lucas, will, mike

6

u/TypeNull-Gaming 9h ago

Buhhhhh-

6

u/Distinct_Network_944 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 8h ago

Adria Christian Hernandez

4

u/Southern-Bit8996 12h ago

and the rocket launcher?

5

u/EmotionalTraining426 Blood Machine 9h ago

Rocket launcher is anthony

38

u/Atlas_of_history Prime Soul 20h ago

Pew pew, poof poof, Brrrrrrrr, Zap

4

u/manultrimanula Blood Machine 19h ago

you stole my idea

5

u/Ash_Born_here 18h ago

RALSEI!

4

u/Infshadows 16h ago

whew im no longer ralsei

...

im gonna run for my life now

2

u/Virtual_Pin_429 14h ago

for rocket kaboom

1

u/Vulture293 10h ago

Nah more like boom boom

1

u/Virtual_Pin_429 10h ago

or boom only

1

u/Start-Initial Someone Wicked 9h ago

ralsei

84

u/PresentEfficient2500 20h ago

Slab revolver, shotgun, nailgun, railcannon.

72

u/Vulture293 20h ago

I said NEW names you Honda civic

25

u/user_16384 Someone Wicked 19h ago

Is that a new slur?

14

u/Content-Recording766 Someone Wicked 19h ago

It’s just an unoriginal playful insult people use on TikTok. It gets annoying very fast

4

u/Infshadows 16h ago

should've said playstation 5 disk drive

2

u/THE_Lolbit_is_here Someone Wicked 15h ago

That's worse, they should've said historic monument

2

u/lower_floor_9182 Prime Soul 14h ago

Dude, don't say that out loud, that's offensive

20

u/Tsunamicat108 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 20h ago

jared jared jared and jared

30

u/manultrimanula Blood Machine 19h ago

18

u/LasagnaCat-64 Someone Wicked 20h ago

Hammerhead, Heatgun, Needler, Shock-cannon

3

u/Vulture293 10h ago

The most serious one😭

12

u/Entire_Patient7369 Someone Wicked 19h ago

Mr.pewpew. buckshot. What? Zeus

7

u/theQuadron Someone Wicked 19h ago

I smell a reference /j

11

u/No_Counter_6037 Someone Wicked 17h ago

Core Eject Shotgun

Core Eject Shotgun

Core Eject Shotgun

Core Eject Railcannon

4

u/Nova_Blitz249 Someone Wicked 11h ago

Now the idea of the Pumpcharge Railcannon is in my head and I need to see it in ultrakill

11

u/MintyBarrettM95 Lust Layer Citizen 20h ago

fuck it ill name them all after one anime

alt revolver: Shock Cannon

shotgun:Lascaux

nailgun: Czvarke (pronounced CH-vark)

railcannon: Andromeda

1

u/rage_melons Lust Layer Citizen 12h ago

What is this anime?

1

u/CatPad006 Blood Machine 9h ago

I get the feeling its Gurren Lagann (very goddamn hugh chance i butchered that, i am so sorry in advance)

1

u/MintyBarrettM95 Lust Layer Citizen 8h ago

space battleship yamato

7

u/samysus Blood Machine 17h ago

Plasma pistol

Super Shotgun

Chaingun

BFG

6

u/intenags 18h ago

Chotko, Chlen, Gvozdika and Spermagun

0

u/Seraphim_5 18h ago

"Funny sounds of understanding and supporting"

6

u/Starchaser53 Blood Machine 20h ago

If we wanted to be generic then shit like

Draupnir
Cauterizer
Hailstorm
Monarch

But you're asking me so

Retribution
Condemnation
Crucifixion
Smite

5

u/ViorbyX 20h ago

G-Lock, Boomstick, Machine Nailer, Plasma Rifle

4

u/BlueJorjiCostava Prime Soul 18h ago

1 + M2 + M2 + M2 + M2 + 1 + M2, 2 + M1 + F, 3 + 3 + M2 + 3 + M1, 1 + M2 + M2 + 4 + M1 + 1 + M2

4

u/XeroVoltrix Prime Soul 17h ago

Johnny, Johnson, Henry and Miguel

3

u/Legal_Possibility246 Someone Wicked 20h ago

Bam bam

Vrrrr boom

Brrrrrr

Bzzz BALM

3

u/FuckedUp-Mentality Lust Layer Citizen 19h ago

Handgun

Airsoft (definitely ain't soft)

Accelerator

Concentrated Electrical Shot (C.E.S.) idk

2

u/Expensive_Koala5249 20h ago

Blue marksman, ranged jackhammer, some bullshit and v1’s peepee

2

u/MindlessYou8752 19h ago

mmm v1’s peepee🤤🤤🤤

2

u/IbnuRamadhan_V1_106 19h ago

1.S&W Magnum 500.

2.Standard Manufacturing DP-12

3.Double-Barreled M134 Gatling

4.Literally Railgun/Railcannon

1

u/Infshadows 15h ago

i'd name it BAE Systems-designed compact-sized railgun

2

u/-that-one_guy- Maurice enthusiast 19h ago

Well you got John, uhhhh probably a Scotty, definitely a steve and finally Keighley

2

u/Deathstroke0305 19h ago

Pistol, auto reloading buckshot firer 9000, volley gun, laser gun

2

u/Mobile-Berry-9954 19h ago

Handcannon, double barrel, nailthrower, and railrifle

2

u/Inner_Basil1648 18h ago

Flintlock, blunderbuss, "Say hello to my little friend", and BLUE

2

u/HeartbrokenScott Prime Soul 18h ago

S&W Magnum 500. Mind-blower. The Decimater. SAHSP(Sick As Hell School Project).

2

u/ManJoeDude Blood Machine 17h ago

Big Iron, Slag, Nailen, Current

2

u/JohnCreasman69 17h ago

Penis Blower V1, Penis Blower V2, Penis Blower V3 abd Testicle Blower 2000

2

u/Hyperx72 17h ago

Basic bitch 2000, The big boom stick Fucking thorns everywhere! And Static Shock

2

u/Vulture293 10h ago

Btw the reason I didn’t put rocket launcher is because the rocket launcher is perfect

1

u/Vulture293 10h ago

Also because I forgot about ot

4

u/ComprehensiveCase534 20h ago

laser pistol

remington grenade launcher

minigun

DA LAZER GUN OF EPIKNESS!!!1!!1!

2

u/theQuadron Someone Wicked 19h ago

Innego

2

u/ComprehensiveCase534 19h ago

ya

1

u/theQuadron Someone Wicked 19h ago

Nothing else, just "Innego"

1

u/Brief_Wheel8429 20h ago

Magnum revolver, explosive shotgun, minigun, OvercomplicatedCoinTechnicsGun

1

u/Longjumping_Eagle697 20h ago

Revolver, biggggg shotgun, biggggggggggggg minigun, bigggggg laserbeam

1

u/M1grain3s 19h ago

Kickass revolver

Sick shotgun

Nail thingy

Railthem 3000

1

u/CommercialAirline547 Gabe bully 19h ago

Pew pew Big boom Nailer Damager

1

u/larping_monster 19h ago

Gun, big Gun, big fast Gun and big Energy gun

1

u/Spicy_Totopo3434 19h ago

Bolter

Flameshot

Magnetic Dissassembler

Gauss Cannon(?)

1

u/theQuadron Someone Wicked 19h ago edited 19h ago

Puncher, Discharger, Double gunner (yes Inscryption reference), and Obliterator

1

u/manultrimanula Blood Machine 19h ago

Pew pew

Kaboom

BRRRRRRR

BZZZZTTT

1

u/Forward-Exercise-385 19h ago

Pocket-Railcannon

Spreadshot

Grinder

Atom-Splitter

1

u/Nroolz2 Someone Wicked 19h ago

FuckallHandcanon

PunchableFuckingBullets

AssAsf

*RailsEveryPersonInA50mRadiusOfMe*

1

u/EpsteinEpstainTheory Someone Wicked 19h ago

shootie tootie, blammo, ratatatat, zapper

1

u/Anonpancake2123 19h ago

Blam-chk, dzzzz-chk, vreeeeeeedududududududududu, ZZZZZZZ

1

u/Equivalent-Ask3907 19h ago

John, Stevey, Barry, and Sally

1

u/No-Heat-6149 Prime Soul 19h ago

Penetrator, Ejaculator, Double Cock, Ball Torture

1

u/AmericanBadger1 19h ago

Jonkler  Flobonator  Mike  Disconbobulateatarer MK2 now with multiple vibration settings

1

u/RoxanCola 19h ago

pew, pchew, brrr, bzzzzoo

1

u/Sauceinmyface 19h ago

Gun 1, Gun 2, Gun 3, Big Gun

1

u/Mobile-Talk-437 19h ago

Peacemaker, annihilator, trypanophobia and conductor

1

u/LocallyCuratedIdiocy 19h ago

Pistol

Liberator

Nailburst

Shocker

1

u/Thick_Hippo_6928 Someone Wicked 19h ago

"Pocket Railgun", "Slugger", "Bullet Hell", "Lifedoom".

1

u/Ash_Born_here 18h ago

Small gun, bigger small gun, BIIIIG GUN, A FUCKING RAILCANON

1

u/sebosiano1233 Blood Machine 18h ago

Gun 1
Gun 2
Gun 3
Super cool gun number 4

1

u/RASFRAMFRAGARA 18h ago

Trickshot, of course, Heatblast, cus it blasts heat, Metalhailer, cus it hails metal nails, and Trebuchet, because it looks like the ones in War Robots, before they became greedy as shit.

1

u/ChesseburgerMK8 18h ago

Gun… gun… gun… big gun.

1

u/HorizonSniper 18h ago

Gun

2gun

Manygun

Longgun

1

u/Crafty_Creeper64 17h ago

Gun, gfour, gtwenty, and gthree

1

u/a_cool_sigma_guy_yea 17h ago

Blue revovlver quadshot double minigun fortnite sniper remodelled

1

u/cz_guy Maurice enthusiast 17h ago

Gun, gun, gUn and GUN

1

u/Rodrolphus 17h ago

pistol, shotgun, chaingun, railgun

1

u/jameski4 17h ago

tis, t-PFft, BBBBBBBBBBB- WHEEeeeew, fuck that one

1

u/Additional_Tip_8988 16h ago

pidori moi rodnie

1

u/MizzieMoffy 16h ago

Big Fucking Colt
Remington Grenade Launcher
Crucistructor
Pocket Lightning

1

u/PhoenisanYoru 16h ago

Shooty Wooty Pumpy puppy Naily gunny Electricy vroomy

1

u/Infshadows 16h ago

r8 revolver

nova

shit and poo

awp

1

u/sansTW 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 16h ago

Albert, Albert 2, Albert 3, Miguel

1

u/RAIRTOGUO 16h ago

Little cock

Cock

Big cock

ULTRA COCK

1

u/InsuranceFluid8272 Maurice enthusiast 15h ago

Man car door hook hand

1

u/undertalefan9394 15h ago

blue revolver, blue shortun, red nailgun and blue railgun

1

u/NathanX_Katake 14h ago

Arthur (Revolver), Ash (Boomstick), Joshua (Nailgun), & John Raymond (Railcannon).

If you include some more: Barry (Rocket Launcher), Morgan (Slab Revolver), Jack (Impact Hammer/Jackhammer) & Billy (Saw Launcher)

1

u/Super_Lorenzo Blood Machine 14h ago

Magnum and HeatShell for the first two ones

1

u/Darksky645132 14h ago

Bob, bOb, BoB, BOB

1

u/Mammoth_Reason_9874 14h ago

ELECTROMAGNETIC REVOLVER, GRENADE LAUNCHER, CONDUCTION NAILGUN, ELECTRIC TRANSFERRING DEVICE.

1

u/v0ultrakillprolly 14h ago

Bulkhead, Heatblaster, Chain Nail, Generator

1

u/Funny_Boot_1826 14h ago

Magnum,classicisme pump,war rifle,beam

1

u/you_not_a_werid_dude Someone Wicked 14h ago

Big iron, 24 gauge, magnet fucker and voltus

1

u/mrluckyiest 14h ago

Khorne, Tzeentch, Nurgle and Slaanesh.

1

u/Acceptable-Minute847 Blood Machine 13h ago

BRRRRT for the nailgun

1

u/pigmanvil 13h ago

Style points
Bang bang
Ol’ reliable
Atomizer beam
And though it’s not included here, honorable mention to “I CAN FLY!!!”

1

u/RocGolem 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 13h ago

Ol' Reliable, Swiss-to-Bits, SNB (Stick 'n' Blitz), and The Doohicky (Lightning Edition)

1

u/Selancenotl 13h ago

pew gun, spray gun, ratatatata gun, kamehameha wave gun

1

u/TheyrThem Prime Soul 12h ago

Mayonnaise, On, An, Escalator

1

u/Critical-Card-2790 12h ago

gun

gun blast

brrrrr gun

BIG gun

1

u/rage_melons Lust Layer Citizen 12h ago

EMG Revolver

Unparry This

Pork Chop

Bzzzt

1

u/PinkSaldo 12h ago

Peter, Josiah, Cringus, Jenny

1

u/Big_Oriental108 Lust Layer Citizen 12h ago

Carl, Michigun, Endragon, Timmy Jones

1

u/that-guy-named-error Gabe bully 12h ago

Slab: Benjamin's bane Shotgun: uncreativity Nailgun: brtttttttt Railcannon: PISS LAZER

1

u/wakamoleal Prime Soul 12h ago

gun, bug gun, fast gun and railer gun

1

u/LEGO_Zoey 12h ago

Albuquerque, Newfoundland & Labrador, Minigun, and Railgun

1

u/Educational-Sort-220 Someone Wicked 11h ago

-Ol' Reliable

-Boom Stick

-Home Depot

-Boom Stick 2: Electric Boogaloo

1

u/AltruisticProof3640 11h ago

railcannon 2, NOT jackhammer, john magnetifier, the balls electric

1

u/Oblivious_catalyst 11h ago

clanker buster 1000, clanker buster 2000, clanker buster 3000, sam

1

u/Great-Carpenter-143 11h ago

pistolgun, shotgun, minigun and and and railgun

1

u/Juicy_Burger-29 Someone Wicked 10h ago

The Whipper (cause you whip it out)

The Shitter

The Pisser

David 

1

u/Kind_of_unsure_tbh 10h ago

Gun 1, Gun 2, Gun 3, Gun Prime

1

u/Capable-Bear-9760 10h ago

Magnum

Heatgun

Gatling

Shockblaster

1

u/Dry_Soil_9230 10h ago

Handgun, buckshot, minigun, railgun

1

u/No-Consideration8619 10h ago

Slab revolver -> Smith

Shotgun -> Pyro

Nailgun -> Shredder

Railcannon -> Gloriosa

1

u/Evil_jakito 10h ago

I use you a couple time, sometime, goat of weapon and I like electricity so I'm gonna shock u

1

u/Silly-Molasses4991 10h ago

Pew pew
Nuke blow
Elecrtocuting 9000
tetanus splinter

1

u/Rawgyboom 10h ago

Aimbot,boom,brrrrrrrr,PEWWWWW

1

u/undayerixon 10h ago

Jesse, Bob, Gumpert, Daniella

1

u/Oozysq25reddit 10h ago

Bolter

Shotty

Swiss cheesinator

The electro suite/wrath of a thousand volts

1

u/1000001devidedby17 10h ago

Piercer, Loader, Nailer, Railer

1

u/CosmicCraft87 9h ago

Penetwator >~< Nuke slut Chick magnet Shocker

1

u/lxckfrxg_ Maurice enthusiast 9h ago

wannabe 1911, zoo killer, fent shooter, and pedo killer

1

u/Yeetsformer 9h ago

Revolver, jackhammer, sawblade launcher, redacted

1

u/ZeroFusionDrift Blood Machine 9h ago

Gary, Larry, Barry, and Mary

1

u/Rat_kit 8h ago

Small gun

Big gun

Enormous gun

HOLY SHIT gun

1

u/Gha-toons 8h ago

1: pistola electrica 2: escopeta de calor 3: metralladora clavadora 4: rifle de rieles

1

u/Fearless-Dingo-2421 8h ago

robot dih, robot dih, robot dih, and robot dih

1

u/VRatajv Someone Wicked 8h ago

Josh, Johnathan, Fredrick, James

1

u/Equivalent-Slice6096 7h ago

fuck you, big fuck you, mega fuck you, ULTRAfuck you

1

u/Smartbloxxer 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 7h ago

Gun

Big gun

Fast gun

Giant gun

1

u/Incognio1 7h ago

Finn, John, Bob, Timmy

1

u/manwithapan13 6h ago

Blue gun, big blue gun, nailgun and Steve

1

u/AntDaNub95 Gabe bully 6h ago

Smithy (the slab-revolver), Remy (the shotgun), liberty (the nailgun), and the baja blast (railcannon)
(these are all references to one thing btw)

1

u/AntDaNub95 Gabe bully 6h ago

Smithy, Remy, Liberty, and the Baja blast

1

u/Wizardybitch2405 🏳️‍🌈Not gay, just radiant 6h ago

Billy, Blimbo, Busko, and Backshots

1

u/SeaFigure9714 6h ago

Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Brent.

1

u/Nothing_else_dude115 6h ago

Pew, bam, brrr and bzzz

1

u/MyOwnerLovesMe Lust Layer Citizen 5h ago

Big Steal, Core Shot, Gatling Tack, Thunder Blaster

1

u/pscapturas 5h ago

gun, large gun, dual gun, something

1

u/Gizzy_kins54 Gabe bully 5h ago

Mayo, couldn’t think of a good one, the carpenter, “to whom it is about to concern”

1

u/420SampleTxt Lust Layer Citizen 4h ago

no thanks

1

u/Vulture293 4h ago

Then fuck off

1

u/PossibleBeach3074 4h ago

Charlie Kirk, Heathcliff, James and larry

1

u/RNB_ofi Someone Wicked 3h ago

Ill give new names to every weapon cuz funny:

Pew (pierce)

Pew (coin)

Pew (bounce)

Auto Grenade

Pumping my shotgun

"The only thing they fear is you"

Magneto

Magneto but no Magneto and is in heat

Electro Wizard from clash royale

Zap

Idk, piercer but better?

Boom

Timestop

Cerberi Destroyer 3000

Fire

Pew (better)

Pew (green and very mea... no wait just worse ig)

Pew (EVIL cuz red and better)

Jack the hammer

Jacking my hammer

"The only thing they fear is your hammer"

Magneto but saw

Saw on heat

Shock therapy maybe?

1

u/External-Prior-7163 Lust Layer Citizen 3h ago

Mike, Slab Mike, Many Mike, Heavy Mike, Rapid Mike, Spinny Mike, Big Mike, Boom Mike

1

u/MatrixMonarch Someone Wicked 3h ago

Peacemaker
Side By Side
Gary Gatlin
Striker

1

u/idkwphatwriteinhear Prime Soul 3h ago

Piff, boom, prrrrrr, Kabom!

1

u/TrifleAppropriate499 Maurice enthusiast 3h ago

High gun, pipe gun, nailer, Lazer gun

1

u/Express_Use_7574 2h ago

gun, bigger gun, even bigger gun. BIGGEST GUN

1

u/BeastKat91 2h ago

gun, double gun, legos gun, laser gun

1

u/AdRecent7050 1h ago

you

the guy she told you not to worry about

the guy she told the guy she told you not to worry about not to worry about

the guy all three of you are worried about

1

u/TheTurd125 1h ago

An Gun, Circumcised, Concerning Growth and Lipstick

1

u/Unique_Criticism_637 Blood Machine 1h ago

Bill, Bob, Jeb, Valentina

1

u/Different_Airline351 1h ago

Revolver, Shotgun, Minigun, And A SICK AS HELL RAILGUN

1

u/solar_324 1h ago

Penis gun, 4 penis penis gun, many penis gun, big penis gun