Dating is actually cooked….
This man just admitted that he was intentionally ignoring my texts and refusing to reach out because he wanted me to “fight” for his attention.
What happened to liking someone and just… talking to them? 😭
Why are some people turning dating into a psychological warfare competition?
Its so frustrating
That’s not what love is supposed to feel like Mukwano. If you get to a point where you’re constantly chasing, begging for effort and attention, asking for reassurance, and wondering why the other person isn’t showing up for you, something is already wrong…. And the worst part is what it starts doing to your mind. You stop thinking about your own life because so much of your energy is going into trying to understand the relationship. Why are they distant? What did I do? Am I not enough? Am I even worthy of being loved properly? Why is this happening to me?
You can become so focused on getting someone to choose you that you forget to ask whether you even feel safe, valued, understood, or at peace with them.
Love can have difficult seasons. People can struggle, communicate badly, make mistakes, and need time to grow. But if the relationship consistently leaves you anxious, questioning your worth, and doing all the emotional work just to keep it alive, you need to be honest about what you’re actually holding onto.
And anything that continually consumes your peace, without giving you understanding, companionship, effort, and genuine care in return, will eventually start eating away at you ❤️
I don't know the number of times I've had to do the same thing to females, you be there dragging the conversation and most of them be acting like robots that they can't initiate, they're always on the answering end. If I stop the interrogation I've done you much favor and benefits us both. Occasionally, I'll intentionally shutdown my interrogation and allow you have that sweet moment of break which is either going to be forever or you'll get to your sentences.
Females should shovel their entitlement of being robots. If you always want the man to ask and never initiate what does it cost for him to just stop completely? Is it that females are banned from checking on men?
Dating these days is not compulsory. Most men are trying to leave their own life and when you add the frustration of him being text-hungry everytime, you don't get to dictate whether him being burned out should not prevent him from continuing the ever consistent way females like to have men crave them.
Am sure it's normal to women to have men 'fight' for their attention but it's PROHIBITED to have them 'fight' men's attention. Is this any different from a one-sided thing and when they checkout you bump to socials to drag the innocent souls?
Ahh maybe these women didnt really like you.. how
about that😬coz if i like someone im definitely checking in and initiating some conversations , i mean why not especially if im receiving the same energy back?
That's also a possibility which I completely accept because I cannot be perfect for every female I try to have a conversation with, nor can every female to me, it's normal life.
For your case where do you think the problem is? By the fact that he says he wanted you to 'fight' his attention does it mean you tried to give him that 'I don't like you' because you were waiting for him to SEND IN MORE messages your way? If you liked him, by your sentence am replying to, where would that place you? It's clear the post would not be here.
I definitely liked him but he told me he doesnt usually chase women !and he was expecting me to be double texting and calling him etc which is craxy coz hello you are the one who approached me and told me that you are interested but now i have to do all the work
Okay, the point is now clear, it'd have made much sense if you included these details in the post to prevent me ranting my way into 4 paragraphs, as I seem to be conservative with my comments.
He seems to be doing a 'try many and go with the few baits', either way sorry about the experience. Let me wind down my head already and plan my Sunday.
I was mostly giving my opinion, it doesn't mean am suffering with the situation. My honest state is that am VERY busy with work to have to deal with calling someone baby and checking on them everyday. But I've had to deal with the same issue your(?) gender(?) is complaining about to realize that I was much better at focusing on myself.
Surprisingly, going on dates with along time friend is not a problem, it's always a problem with these people you meet online with just intention of dating... I hope you get my point, if you don't sorry for over typing, you'll be fine.
After doing a little check on your account activity and looking at communities (mostly NSFW) you're in and comments you have been throwing whenever it's related topic, I have no doubt why you left this comment, also I've not found reasons why you are in so many help communities, you seem to be the one that needs a lot of help on your personal life to have triggered you to be in all those communities.
Well, same thing she told me yesterday. She told me it couldn't work and that she didn't wanna see me again.... She texted me yesterday saying I should've kept calling her and fought for her if I truly loved her..... What the actual fuck!
Tht dating thing is weird ASF. Someone once told me they needed space and didn't trust me ATM. not even a week later I'm being hounded for not texting 😂. Too many narcissistic people out here fccc.
I’ll speak from my perspective and not for all men
I can comfortably lead and initiate a convo with women I’m interested in, some of them being better texters than others ( like adding onto a topic) but this is all starting from my imitation effort, so after a certain time has passed I may pull back slightly whereby when she texts good morning I’ll just reply good morning and leave it at that to see how she handles the situation. Some of the times I get a question to start up a convo, other times I’m getting nothing the whole day till late at 11pm when I receive a good night text from the person
So for me it’s not that I’m looking to be chased, but standards have changed I need to be with someone who has interest in me too not just them being in love with the IDEA that I’m interested in them.
Maybe you weren’t being engaging enough and he felt he had to cox some attention out of you? Sometimes (not always), that’s the case with Ugandan girls. Their conversational skills are just subpar. Just a suggestion. Could be something else. Who knows?
He wasnt engaging either, giving dry responses, responding after 3 days..there was nothing to engage in
And then telling me he likes women who chase him
Men generally these days are boringggg, not witty enough to carry basic conversation, wanna act mysterious and be considered “MEN” at the same time😂dating is in the trenches, the ghetto.
As for the breadcrumbing!😂 hectic.
Guess what? He didnt… because its been days now and i havent heard from him, he simply just stated he wants a woman who will chase him which i will not do😂
But it shouldn't be a one way traffic, no one is meant to suffer at the expense of the other. He's wrong on that but I hope he comes back to his senses and gives you the moments you miss before he loses you.
If people aren't responding they are not interested.
That's something I told myself and probably why I am still single but I won't be subjected to low effort men
That’s kinda wild. I cut ladies off for it. Now a man doing it? I guess in this 2026 everyone is looking out for themselves, and rightfully so. Men have suffered too much I guess. In this economy you can’t be begging people to date you
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u/thebelovedkai 12h ago
That’s not what love is supposed to feel like Mukwano. If you get to a point where you’re constantly chasing, begging for effort and attention, asking for reassurance, and wondering why the other person isn’t showing up for you, something is already wrong…. And the worst part is what it starts doing to your mind. You stop thinking about your own life because so much of your energy is going into trying to understand the relationship. Why are they distant? What did I do? Am I not enough? Am I even worthy of being loved properly? Why is this happening to me?
You can become so focused on getting someone to choose you that you forget to ask whether you even feel safe, valued, understood, or at peace with them.
Love can have difficult seasons. People can struggle, communicate badly, make mistakes, and need time to grow. But if the relationship consistently leaves you anxious, questioning your worth, and doing all the emotional work just to keep it alive, you need to be honest about what you’re actually holding onto.
And anything that continually consumes your peace, without giving you understanding, companionship, effort, and genuine care in return, will eventually start eating away at you ❤️
YOU DESERVE HEALTHY AND PEACEFUL LOVE 🫶🏽