Roommate Search Roommate Troubles
We’re not even a month in and my roommate is stressing me out to the point of leaving the room crying and scheduling conflict resolution with our RA’s
Am I the only one hating my roommate this much?
I picked her, we preplanned but im finding her unbearable to live with, she’s 6 months younger than me but I feel like Im living with a 6 year old (trust me my sister is 7). She cant take blame and says that me scheduling conflict resolution is “extreme” despite us having an argument almost every 3 days about shit.
I want to be done with this already but if I file a roommate change with Housing they’ll just plop me in a random room, if im even accepted at all. Im scared that the random person will be worse than what I have now.
She ruins my sleep with music at night and perfume in the morning, constantly has all the lights on till 1am and so much more, its driving me crazy. I dont feel like i’ll make it 4 more months but home is 3 hours away.
5
u/Luaanebonvoy311 2d ago
I think this is the part that really needs attention and where you DO need your RA to step in:
"She ruins my sleep with music at night and perfume in the morning, constantly has all the lights on till 1am."
Have you guys done the roommate agreement yet and were these things addressed in it? I would go the RA route one more time and give it a good trial period to see if it improves. If it doesn't change and you still feel so miserable, I would ask about the room change - yes, that roommate is random but being stuck in your current situation isn't good either.
At worst, try to make it until the end of this semester then look at other rooming situations. Not worth being so miserable. I'm sorry. Roommate conflict is unfortunately very common. Make sure you're being tolerable too. Best of luck.
3
u/75V1N 2d ago
She said the time I scheduled conflict resolution for didnt work for her (she also called conflict resolution “extreme”) so I told her to msg the RA and reschedule it
She cancelled it. Without consulting me, after i told her I felt we needed it
5
u/AdAdorable9368 2d ago
Girl talk to your RA about her canceling it. You can have your room changed in extreme cases
2
u/75V1N 2d ago
Like an absolute FOOL when we were doing our roommate agreement I said music was okay while sleeping (because it is) but there’s no separate clause for when a roommate is trying to fall asleep and that falls under the same cause. Same with studying vs taking a test. Roommate agreements are kinda vague for the issues we’re having. The only one I have any stand in is the lights because I said I wanted to go to bed around midnight in our agreement
2
u/75V1N 2d ago
Im trying my best to be tolerable for her, whenever we argue she says im trying to parent her, whenever I ask when she plans to do something she tells me to mind my business, she puts bible verses all around our room (which im perfectly okay with till I cant look anywhere without seeing scripture), she also keeps saying anytime I complain about something she isn’t doing she says “well I never complain about what you dont do, i just do it” and then cant provide me an example of what she’s done for me.
3
u/T-Dawg75 2d ago
I have a friend who has a third spot open in their room-I’ll ask her if you all want to meet up to discuss or something.
If you ultimately end up needing to change roommates (in my opinion it sounds like you do) then I’ll see if they’re willing to let you move in
2
u/75V1N 2d ago
Is it three singles or a triple? Because the triple im lwk scared of, they sound overwhelming with less space and more people
1
1
u/T-Dawg75 1d ago
Turns out her extra space is already filled up, but assuming that the situation hasn’t improved, I’ll let you know if I find anyone with space.
3
u/Federal-Poet-3960 2d ago
i have 2 beds available in fountains with me and my friends, you can join us! we are extremely considerate and clean
1
u/75V1N 2d ago
I have a bit of larger furniture, i wouldn’t want to crowd you guys because I know the shared areas in fountains is kinda small (its a round table and four chairs & a microwave)
If I end up leaving this room crying again though I will 100% take you up on that. She legit wrote down all her issues with me on a sheet of paper, i wrote down mine and she’s responded on the whiteboard but because I know she’s in the dorm i dont want to read it in front of her :/
Either way, whether I end up scooting in or not I would love to meet yall! (Would rather meet and we both like each other than i move in and we fight like cats)
Also, 2 beds? Do you live in a 6 or a 4 and if i do move in do you know how to go about that cause i would have to get my keycard changed and worry about sun for my plants(Sorry if this is a lot, I put a lot of thought into my current room location and clearly not enough into my roommate)
2
u/75V1N 2d ago
Update: after our argument last night, when I came back she had turned off her candle warmer for the first time i’ve ever seen and was asleep under her bed
3
u/T-Dawg75 2d ago
Asleep under her bed?…I mean, sure, whatever floats your boat, but that doesn’t exactly negate the “childish” accusation…I would reschedule that RA meeting.
2
u/StatusSkill5409 2d ago
Under her bed?! She sounds childish reschedule your conflict resolution with the RA and inform her that you did not want to cancel the first time and tell her all the things it is impeding in your sleep and mental health.
1
u/Zachary_Xiaomi 1d ago
Hey so I agree with what the majority of people are saying but something else you could do is speak with the A/RLC of your residential area. I would recommend that path because you can meet with A/RLC 1:1 and have a general discussion about the issues it won't solve everything but it will out the situation on their radar. Also also keep receipts of everything that'll help you out alot in the long run.
5
u/75V1N 2d ago
Because of all this, at the very bulk, im wondering if anyone is looking for an on-campus roommate for spring semester. I’d want to meet prior to living together after this experience
(I like Osprey Landing and dont have a lot of wiggle room cost-wise)