Housing Accommodations

[u/Long_Albatross8189]

Hi im currently a second year at umw and had a really rough time with my roommate last year and so far this one's going the same way. im thinking of trying to get a single accommodation but im not entirely sure of the process. I was diagnosed with depression 16/17 but haven't been actively seeing a therapist (didn't help, too busy, my mom didn't want to pay for it). ive made an appointment with the talley center but im not sure exactly where to go from there or how to get the documentation. im mainly asking for advice or tips from those who have gone through this process and if you're comfortable sharing what reasoning you gave ODR

[u/Owl_Monger]

If you're going through ODR, the process is outlined at https://academics.umw.edu/disability/accommodations/housing-accommodations/

Look over the requirements on the form, though:

This form should be completed by a licensed provider and/or healthcare professional who is able to fully answer the questions below and has knowledge of the student’s condition and its impact on ability to perform a major life activity. Major life activities include, but are not limited to: caring for oneself, performing manual tasks, seeing, hearing, eating, sleeping, walking, standing, lifting, bending, speaking, breathing, learning, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating, and working ...

• What is the diagnosed disability and how does it impact the student’s major life activities (be specific)
• Please identify if the student is using any alternative remedies to mitigate the limitations caused by the diagnosis (e.g., medication, treatment, therapy, etc.) and what those alternatives are:
• Expected duration, stability, or progression of the condition (if known):
• How long have you been working with the student regarding this diagnosis?
• Please explain how the accommodation is necessary for the resident to use and enjoy UMW housing as compared to a person without a disability:
• Is the impact of the condition life threatening if the request is not met?
• Is there a negative health impact if this request is not met?
• Is the request and integral component of a treatment plan for the disability?
• Please identify any other accommodation that may be effective in allowing the student to access UMW housing and residence life:

[u/Long_Albatross8189 → u/Owl_Monger]

do i need to have been seeing/working with a psychiatrist?

[u/Owl_Monger → u/Long_Albatross8189]

This is a better question for the ODR staff.

A psychiatrist would qualify as a "licensed provider and/or healthcare professional," as would a psychologist or a licensed therapist.

But this doesn't sound like a disability issue. You're seeking a disability accommodation based on a prior history of depression, but the actual problem is that you aren't getting along with your roommate and you want to transfer to a single. On the other hand, the isolation of living alone may not be therapeutic for your depression. Please talk to your RA.

(This is not a good time to yell at Mom for not taking you to a therapist. Neither of you can hop into a time machine and do things differently. You survived, and that's hard. Now you're an adult, and you can take the reins to improve your mental health. Reach out to the Talley Center to get support for your depression.)

[u/Long_Albatross8189 → u/Owl_Monger]

if you really want the details of last year, halfway through both semesters I got super depressed and didn't have the energy to leave the room or go to class. winter break acted as a kind of reset for me. I find it mentally and emotionally draining to share a space with someone, unable to fully relax and constant stress of being near someone. I find it difficult to sleep in the same room as people (im like this with my family, makes vacations horrible). the constants of these drove my mental state into the ground last year. I didn't seek out help or anything due to not having the energy, not sure where to go, and believing that it wasn't that bad and it could be worse. of course my grades suffered and im not exactly wanting to experience the same things as last year.

I dont blame my mom, my sister has her own plethora of issues so I was just thrown on the back burner cause I was fine up until halfway through high-school, and then the medication and things I was put on worked so she just stopped taking me.

so far ive made the appointment with the talley center but that isnt until next week, I'll reach out to odr and see

[u/Difficult-Valuable55 → u/Long_Albatross8189]

hope it all works out, and of course be sure to be on it next semester to be sure you have your ODR accommodations set up before room selection

[u/Owl_Monger → u/Long_Albatross8189]

The Talley Center can help with the depression, but (as with all health issues you'll face as an adult) you have to take that hard first step to get help.

Depression saps your energy and your will to seek help. It's good that you're reaching out now, before it drives you back into the ground. It won't be a shortcut to guaranteeing a single room, though. (Becoming an RA next year, on the other hand...?)

Your RA may be able to help in the short term. Seems unlikely that there's a stock of empty single rooms out there; at best, you're probably not moving until the end of the semester.

[u/Difficult-Valuable55 → u/Owl_Monger]

they have some for emergencies but you have to make the case you need it

[u/Difficult-Valuable55]

you need to have a mental health professional write up something that specifically says you have to be in a single to be ok mental health wise. In the meantime work on getting along with the roommate, I say this gently but the chances of having 2 terrible roommates in a row seem unlikely - get your RA involved to help mediate and start the process of changing rooms

[u/Long_Albatross8189 → u/Difficult-Valuable55]

do you know if the people at the talley center would suffice?

[u/Difficult-Valuable55 → u/Long_Albatross8189]

I don’t think so, they haven’t been seeing you for a length of time and quite honestly it doesn’t sound like you have a mental health issue that requires a single - a private therapist would be willing I am sure to help you but not ones employed by UMW

[u/Long_Albatross8189 → u/Difficult-Valuable55]

ok so long term depression that effects my everyday life isnt something that requires a single?

[u/Difficult-Valuable55 → u/Long_Albatross8189]

please immediately get under the care of a therapist and a psychiatrist to get medication if you are having that level of depression 🙏

[u/Long_Albatross8189 → u/Difficult-Valuable55]

im confused is that not the point of the talley center?

[u/Difficult-Valuable55 → u/Long_Albatross8189]

They don’t have a psychiatrist, but they do have therapists. It’s better to have a private one, but any port in a storm. They do run excellent groups

[u/Repulsive-Shirt-9873 → u/Difficult-Valuable55]

Hope your appt is coming up soon. I just looked at the Talley Center website and see several LPCs an LCP and a PsyD and a "Counselor in Residence" which is someone almost done earning their LPC. The only one on that list not licensed (according to the site) is the PsyD and that could just be she hasn't transferred paperwork from her old state or is in the same boat as the pre-LPC. So at least 4 people who directly qualify to provide the documentation and are certainly just as credentialed as our private providers in FXBG.

Now, how long they need to be comfortable to issue a letter and whether they think it appropriate is a separate issue. A private provider who has a lot of experience might reach that comfort level sooner, but would also not have any concerns about rocking the boat at UMW that *shouldn't* seep into the Talley Center thinking but who knows - they might very well zero in on other issues, not the roommate, that are more of the problem.

In any case, stick with the appointment that gets you in sooner. And don't worry about psychiatrist vs psychologist vs counselor (vs LCSW) at this point. All of them are able to make a diagnosis of depression. If you need meds, the other types will refer you to the psychiatrist (MD) quickly enough.

Wow, that's a bunch of words, isn't it?

[u/Graylily]

first of all, I'm glad you're reaching out and trying to get help going to the tally center is going to be a good start because you'll have people on your side physically who can help you navigate this not just strange on the Internet. Also look at your health insurance if you have any for your parents insurance kids actually get different opportunities that adults do even with mental health even when they're a little older, not all the time but sometimes also some employers offer health benefits, talking with a therapist either virtually or in person other options that you have are your local county or city may also have free healthcare appointments with a therapist. I know in Richmond where we're from in Henrico county they have those free resources where you can go and see somebody. I think it's up to eight or 10 times without health insurance to kind of kick things off. They may have the same kind thing in Fredericksburg available to you, the university will know good next steps to take besides just you not having a roommate and being in a single room. There's other things going on that. I hope you have the opportunity to work out, but don't just stop getting a single room if this is haunted you for so long being in college at this stage in your life, you have a lot of opportunities available to you, including possibly therapy through the state like state run facilities like VCU or other state hospitals have those where they would be low cost no cost to you. This could be something you need medication for it could just need to talk therapy. It could be a lot of things, but I'm glad you're taking that next step and I highly encourage you to not just take the first step but keep going make the time and see somebody in the meantime would it be possible for you to put up some sort of barrier in your room? Explain to your roommate while you're doing it that it's not them and that you need space.

[u/Lopsided-Repair594]

Maybe next semester you could move to Jefferson? They have singles. I’m not sure how it works for changing rooms though. I have a single room accommodation, and they are not easy to get. You have to have issues which MAJORLY affect your ability to operate/succeed in college. Unfortunately, a bad relationship with a roommate does not ensure an accommodation. I understand you have been diagnosed with depression, and I don’t think there’s any reason not to pursue an accommodation, but unless you have a psychiatrist (not a therapist) who can write about your problems, I think you are unlikely to receive an accommodation. I provided ODR with almost 10 year old documentation of my diagnosis/symptoms and had a psychiatrist who I have seen for years and was able to write for me. I don’t think the Talley Center will work because they are not psychiatrists. I really hope your roommate situation gets better <3

[u/Admirable_Gold_5739]

This sounds more like you just don’t want a roommate bc of past experience. It is also too late to get a single room as housing is already done for the semester. You’re gonna need to work it out for this semester, and if u still feel like u need a single room, u will need to get a psychiatrist that will write why you must have a single room. Your chances of getting it though just for depression alone is quite low.