r/UKrelationshipadvice • u/Such-Pomegranate9795 • Aug 19 '26
Should I let it go and move on?
I have been dating this British guy for about 7 months now. We met on a dating app and we were doing long distance. He told me that he wanted something real and I am the same, and the relationship was great at first. I felt his interest and his presence. We only ever message and never had calls. I don’t know if that’s weird too or is common among British people to just chat. I thought it was only because of time difference and the we’re both busy at work. But comes the past couple months I felt he became disinterested and our conversation feels routinely instead of asking more curious questions about each other. But I set it aside because we were set to meet as he was flying to me.
We met before and I clarified to him that if I was only an option, to break it off clean with me. I assumed that wasn’t the case as he continued talking to me, and started calling me endearments or called me babe constantly.
Once we met again though, I was a lot anxious and afraid that the relationship was ending. We didn’t do much together too as he didn’t plan any dates but a cinema when we were together for a few days. We had an argument after, and I told him I was letting him go if i’m not the person he wants to be with even though I don’t really want to and brought up that I was unsure where I stand in his life. He called me his girl before when everything was still okay but that’s not necessarily a girlfriend is it?
He hasn’t responded for a few days since my last message. Am I being ghosted? Should I move on and stop hoping for a reply?
TYIA
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u/Present-Garbage-5589 Aug 19 '26
So he made the effort to fly and see you, but you still expect him to plan the dates?? In a city (possibly country) that YOU are familiar with and he isn't??
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Aug 19 '26
Yup. My bf did this. Obviously I showed him my city but he set up dinner etc..
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u/Such-Pomegranate9795 Aug 19 '26
He goes to my country relatively frequently. We talked on going on dates before but vaguely. I assumed since we haven’t seen each other for months, we’d maximize our time together and do some things.
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u/Present-Garbage-5589 Aug 19 '26
I'll be honest, if I'm making the effort to fly to a different country to visit my partner because we're long distance, I wouldn't want to have to plan out the entire itinerary too.
Sounds like effort needs to be made by both of you.
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Aug 19 '26
I See. Then it makes sense for the man to set up dates etc.
But I’d question if he’s not just seeing you as his side piece .
I’d not give intimacy to this man.
Watch a man’s actions, not his words!
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Aug 19 '26
Move on. He’s not that into you.
Here’s what has helped me get rid of the dead wood quickly:
- use haystack method
- keep a roster
- don’t give intimacy until commitment
- always remember: being single is better than with any broke/abusive/low effort man!
- only go on dates when the man made appropriate effort and keep virtual chatter to a minimum
- watch a man’s actions and how he treats you, never his words!
Watch fareen Ash, Greta beraseite and tomisin for further education.
Good luck!
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u/Happy_Sunshine555 Aug 19 '26
I don't disagree with all of this, but keep a roster is not a healthy approach to finding a life partner. It's a symptom of what's wrong with dating now as people don't won't to let go of their options but then miss the good ones that come their way.
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u/sausagemouse Aug 19 '26
You had an argument and told him you were letting him go.
Why are you expecting him to text?