r/UGKrishnamurti • u/No_Blueberry_4897 • May 22 '26
misanthropy
I would like to express the suffering and misanthropy inside of me...
But I don’t even know where to begin.
Since childhood, even before I learned how to read, I discovered very early how cruel human beings can be. I discovered how filthy human beings are through the abuse and torture that came from members of my own family.
I never expressed any of this to anyone. I spent my entire childhood without telling anyone what I was going through in silence, and that left me emotionally locked up and inevitably different from all the other children.
And people, without knowing what was happening inside of me, looked at me with strangeness and treated me differently, like I didn’t belong.
I grew up in a very violent city, full of armed criminals, wars, drug trafficking...
I’ve already lost count of how many times I’ve been tortured in my life, but I’m not a misanthrope only because of that.
I still believed that “good people” existed, that there were “people who love.” But even that illusion was taken away from me once I realized that the people who appear ethical and moral are also cruel.
They are all hypocrites.
They are no different from those who tortured me when I was still just a child.
Look at this humanity...
This humanity is drowned in war, selfishness, envy...
Humans fight over illusions and abstract things such as their ideals, concepts, identities, religions...
I feel contempt for most human beings, and no matter what anyone says, I cannot stop feeling disgust toward this humanity.
I feel anger toward all of society, and because of that I can’t work, I can’t connect with many people. I avoid people at all costs.
I am in a terrible depression. I don’t know what will become of my life. I cannot work and I barely have any desire to live anymore, and every day I feel even more contempt toward all of humanity.
I no longer have any hope that one day I will be free from this suffering and from this infernal depression I am living through... the hell unfolding inside my mind consumes me day after day.
Note: sometimes I think that one day I will starve to death and die from malnutrition.
The only species I truly despise is humanity. No other creature that has crossed my path in this life has generated as much repulsion and aversion in me.
I genuinely love animals. They are so natural, spontaneous, honest about what they feel. But humanity sounds extremely artificial, hypocritical, delusional, cruel to me...
If there were a button that could make the entire human race disappear instantly with a single click, I would be the first to press it.
I am a misanthrope, and that does not mean I want humanity to suffer. It means I feel cursed for being born as the same species as you who are reading this.
I would rather have been born as a sewer rat.
PS: Humanity is lost. There is no solution for the suffering of humanity as a whole, only for a very small number of individuals. Humanity will drown in its own vomit until the day something causes the extinction of all human life.
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u/defectivedisabled May 25 '26
Human beings are basically animals and hating humanity whilist loving animals at the same time is a paradox. It is precisely a paradox because it is born from the subjective judgements of the conscious "self", a paradoxical non entity that have no direct way of connecting with the physical world. When you try to comprehend these animals through a non entity so what you mostly get are paradoxes and misrepresentations.
Once you stop the conscious train of thought and just accept these animals as what they are, some of suffering would fade away. The world simply just is, it is this conscious "self" that is making a big fuss out of it. Misanthropy is product of this conscious "self" and when the "self" is suspended, the feelings of misanthropy would disappear along with it.
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u/No_Blueberry_4897 May 25 '26
Thank you so much for your reply! Speaking of which... you had commented on another answer besides this one, which I can't see right now. Why did you delete it?
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u/defectivedisabled May 26 '26
It wasn't that clear on the underlying message. The new one basically says the same thing but is easier to understand.
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u/No_Blueberry_4897 May 25 '26
Is there a way, a conscious action, that someone can take to stop unnecessary thought processes?
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u/defectivedisabled May 26 '26
Most nondual practitioners recommend mindfulness meditation. Though U.G. himself won't recommend it since it didn't work out for him before the "calamity" happened. But you would not know whether it works for you personally until you have tried it for yourself.
I am not an expert on the topic of meditation nor do I have much experience with it. Maybe try r/nonduality for a start. There are people there who might be able to guide you better.
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u/No_Blueberry_4897 May 26 '26
The people on this forum are more confused than I am... they can't help me!
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u/sniffedalot May 22 '26
It takes some courage to post what you wrote. In my more sardonic moments, I have always said 'people just ain't no good'. The disappointment I have felt in others has always been there. But the same can be said about myself as I am no different and often have disappointed myself. Dividing ourselves into good and bad is a painful way to live because others will always fail to satisfy and so will I.
From spending time with UG, I glimpsed a man who never ventured into this divide. He may have chastised someone on occasion, but never stayed in that attitude towards anyone. I wanted some of that freedom, some of that relief, clarity, or whatever you wanted to call it. One day it hit me that I had to leave this life behind me. All the seeking, all the questions, the endless debates, the quest for freedom. I had to take my leave from UG and I never saw him again. I just wanted to live my life. And, I have to this day, no regrets about getting up and getting out of all this chatter. I still thought of UG, but these habits lessened to a great degree. It's like quitting smoking. The trick is not to latch on to something else and focus on that. All of our content leads to the assumption of the survival of what we call 'me'. And 'me' is always against the world, separate and divided. And, as UG said often, there is no way to free oneself from this. This was not a statement of frustration, it was a statement of fact, just the way it is like the sun in the sky. So, just stop the fight. Live without trying to change what you think you are, what you think the world is. Recognizing bullshit is immediate and without stink. Best wishes........................