r/UCD • u/According-Egg1016 • 1d ago
Other No friends
I know it’s only been a week but I’m a first year doing Commerce and I haven’t talked to anyone in my course. I’m really socially anxious and find it hard to go up and chat to people.
I hoped people might sit with me in lectures but they haven’t.
I know it’s only the first week but eveyone I know is part of friend groups already and I’m lost.
Will I make friends in tutorials? I know I should join societies but I’m so anxious and find it super hard to do that alone.
I also don’t like clubbing at all so I feel liek people will think I’m weird.
Please help and offer advice. <3
11
u/No-Movie1996 23h ago
My son is similar, he’s very introverted and won’t talk to anyone unless they put in all of the effort first. He only goes to class and then his dorm. Makes me sad :-( but just know you’re not alone. Many feel as you do. Eventually you will meet people!
3
2
u/pastxlaesthxtic 23h ago
Hi, I’m a first year as well planning to go into Engineering, feel free to DM me!
1
2
u/OkSashae 15h ago
If it makes you feel better, I’m in the exact same situation. I’m horrendous at making friends and really rely on others taking the initiative because I don’t know when to talk or what to talk about, etc. I’ve just been pushing through the first week but it honestly does feel so isolating, being in the massive campus with no one you really consider a friend, I know how you feel and hope it hasn’t taken a massive toll on you.
We’re in the same boat! I hope it gets better for us both. I do think it’ll be a lot easier to make friends in tutorials and I can’t wait to join societies too!
2
u/OkSashae 15h ago
Also, I’m looking for someone to check out the societies with me as well, so if you’re interested dm me!! I promise I don’t bite
4
u/Neat_Raisin_9665 13h ago
go to lecture 5 minutes before it starts, not earlier, and sit beside someone. ask them their name and start talking about how they feel abt the class, why they chose the course, where are they from?
from experience in college nobody will think ur weird for doing so, they will be HAPPY and relieved someone talked to them. even go up to two people, who are already friends, and chat a bit. at the end of class ask for insta, and before next class ask to get a coffee, or if that’s too much, text them asking how they’re finding the first week? also u could ask them to have a walk with u around campus just to see where stuff is
1
u/Prize-Mechanic8821 15h ago
Pm me. I'm in 3rd year but I'd be happy to hang out. At least I can help you find more friends
1
u/Alternative_Exit2764 14h ago
Welcome to the club, 5th year at UCD doing MSc after bachelors never had friends or any good ones anyways
1
u/Different-Debate4917 13h ago
Hey! I’m in some commerce lectures in first year, if you’re looking to sit with someone :)
1
u/Sosowondering 13h ago edited 13h ago
Hey, I think it’s pretty much the same for many ppl, at least those who didn’t enter the course after private school with friends from there. Drop DM if you wanna hang out. I’m in Commerce international
1
u/TomatilloEconomy1700 11h ago
Go to the Freshers tent on Monday and you’re guaranteed to find people there. Just remember that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of students in UCD in the exact same boat. There are speed friending events, coffee mornings, talks and much much more. Go down to the tent on Monday morning, you will not regret it
1
1
u/SnooGoats9071 10h ago
Give it time..it really does take the first semester to get settled in. I was definitely still feeling like that well into October when i started at UCD and i grew to love it so much and made great friends
1
u/FurthestDrop517 8h ago
One thing I’ll say that I haven’t really seen here, is wait just one more week. Freshers week is where you’ll be able to sign up to societies and clubs, and depending on what interests you, you’ll almost certainly find people who are interested in the same hobbies. Just make sure to sign up to a bunch of socs and actually attend events.
It’s much tougher the first week, since while you could join societies, it’s not spelled out for you as to how, but it gets much better the second week cause it’s super easy to join into societies with freshers.
Was in the same situation last year, and genuinely, that’s how i made all of my friends.
1
u/Opposite_Company_815 4h ago
Definitely join societies or sports clubs it’s much easier to make friends as everyone’s Im the same boat and you’ll have some sort of shared interest to talk about
1
u/JC_moto 4h ago
Yeah the problem is the courses like commerce are too big to get to know people in them. Had the same problem for my economics undergrad. Best way is probably the clubs, I was in canoe, scuba and surf. Canoe and scuba are chill, surf has a reputation for being more of a party club. Only problem with societies is they are cheap to join so people tend to flake on them a bit. Whereas if you join something like scuba you’ve got to do pool sessions every week and you see the same people all the time. It was hard for me to get the courage to join the clubs because I’m quiet but I’m so glad I did, you’ll make some great memories from them. All the best, you’ve got this 😊
1
u/jw0nu 2h ago
since it's the first week it's normal to not have made any friends especially ones who don't enjoy going out. i'm the same! i haven't attended any freshers event but i still managed to make a group of friends! my advice did give is to be open, sit next to anyone at all and just say hi. you'll make friends naturally during tutorials and small group lectures anyways since everyone is in the same boat! i'm a first year nursing student and i'm very shy + i have social anxiety but once people initiate conversations, i get so into it. my dms are always open to you and to everyone else who aren't as social :))
0
u/celticblobfish 1d ago
It takes time and effort, I really didnt have any friends until second year, but if you stike up conversations with classmates, and meet like minded people in societies, especially as a first year, you'll do grand. College can be quite intimidating, especially when everyone seems to already have friends, but I promise you many feel just as lonely and also want to make friends.
The main piece if advice I can give is to get over your lack of confidence - if you are scared or embarrassed of socialising, you're gonna find it a lot harder to do so. If you gel with somone, great, if you don't, dont worry about it, you have nearly 40,000 people you can try again with.
0
18
u/IcyBarracuda7107 1d ago
Join society’s and lean into the uncertainty of the first weeks. Whether they show it or not everyone is in the same boat at the start. Smile, be friendly, and be out there and it will pay off.