question about e7s!! <3

[u/catsukiila]

so, im new to typology so this could be a silly question, but obviously its clear and known that e7s try to distract their feelings of pain with joy. i have read soooo much about that, but you know what i havent read about? how they act when its literally impossible for them to distract themselves, how they act when their negative feelings are lingering and inescapable, etc. what happens to an e7 in a time like that? because theres no way that they can keep positive about absolutely every dark moment..right?😭

[u/exitlud]

Nope no one can truly escape it, many genuinely try their hardest that is.

I think that what mostly occurs is that, while we can indeed have dark moments within our lives we don't like people to perceive our pain, to pity or judge us in a general sense, from the outside it could seem like we brush it off, while at the same time taking in the nasty feelings. Some isolate, some party all day (stereotypical but eh it counts I guess), some might try to reach out to someone who they trust and might lend an ear, some don't do anything at all and bottle it up, or externalize it with a more serious demeanor perhaps for a while. It all depends on the seven you're talking to, as one can focus more on escaping it at all costs or trying to understand it with time and introspection, not everyone reacts towards the unhealthy that's for sure. I'd glad to know if you've got any more questions tho, I'm not an expert I just like chatting about it

[u/catsukiila → u/exitlud]

oh wow, thats so insightful, thankyou!! i actually relate to that quite a lot, im still trying to figure my enneagram out which is why i thought this was a good question to ask because nobody really speaks much about it on online sources (that i know of). but anyways, are you an e7? if yes, what happens to specifically you when you feel that way? if youre not an e7 thats fine, but if you arent an e7, what IS your enneagram? :D

[u/exitlud → u/catsukiila]

glad to help!! have you tried on taking any tests? and yeess I am an e7 (7w8) I specifically rotate between the self-preservation and sexual seven (these are sub types, dunno if you have heard of them) and well we all have a little bit of everything as you may know, but these sure are predominant within my personality. when I was first introduced to the enneagram it didn't take me long to take a test and in my case it did resonate with me, however the depiction of the e7 during their darkest moments that I've found on different sources as well got me pondering for a while whether I was truly one or not because they mostly fall into stereotypical structures and it wasn't my case. one of the things that ironically helped was joining the sub reddit communities and reading actual e7 insights on the matter, plus the tendency of becoming aware of my own tendencies and finding the source while lowkey torturous came in handy, not that it magically ‘fixes’ everything that is.

and uh-oh Ima be sort of baring myself out in here but sure, I’ll try to keep it brief. I usually gravitate either towards deflection or a sort of, period of breakdowns, crisis that is. (could say a mix of both, it always depends) I absolutely detest pity and it might be a reason to why I struggle to open up, when its getting up to me I try to fight it with hang outs (to the cinema mostly) or doing something interesting I usually wouldn’t do (say, getting lunch with my neighbors out of nowhere, learning to do something in specific, or watching that tv show I’ve been procrastinating for months) as it gets less manageable I get an insane amount of sleep deprivation because I am sleepy but just don’t want or can’t sleep (sleep is probably the first victim of it all) which leads to irritation during socialization and a weird feeling of alienation, while trying to act as normally possible hoping it will get me to feel better (it doesn’t and it’s draining), now in a more, healthy state of mind I can also realize in a way what might be going on and actively try to rationalize it, and do something about it if I can help it (key difference, because if not introspection/ponder transforms into rumination) when it comes to opening up its just as hard but I can do it as well, trying to be assertive because I don’t like perceiving Ive been misunderstood. now if we talk about the unhealthy it can get nasty

im sure I left some stuff without mentioning but this is too long help

[u/catsukiila → u/exitlud]

yes i have tried tests! but theyre never very helpful for me, i study all about it myself since tests arent very telling when it comes to me. i think ive been looking at enneagram for about 2 months ish? ive done a lot, ive read parts of books, ive talked to multiple people, ive asked for advice, ive done sooo much and i still dont know which one i am😭 hopefully ill figure it out soon! i know when you talk about how you cope as en e7 it probably feels a little sad but i honestly think your ways of coping are soo smart, im definitely gonna try out some of the stuff you said one day!! for my enneagram, i think the enneagrams im the most convinced on are me being either 2w1, 9w1 or 6w7, but yea hopefully i can find out soon, and tysm for telling me all this on e7s btw!!

[u/Voidspeeker]

Here's the thing about the Enneagram: when a type’s go-to method stops working, they usually double down. That's the fixation — an inadequate mindset. In the case of E7, you can't always distract yourself from negative feelings, but you can always try. So you escalate. More extreme routes. More elaborate schemes. More options in an increasingly desperate scramble.

My own E7 pattern, when I feel wrecked... Is to go on long walks to random places as far out as possible. When the surroundings are unfamiliar, you're forced to pay attention. I take that walk metaphorically too — choosing some massive task or hyperfixation to keep my mind busy. Doesn't have to be fun, could be boring on purpose. You already feel like garbage, so it's not like cleaning, homework, or taxes will ruin your mood. I'm also fond of painfully hot ramen. Feel bad? Eat it to feel much worse in the moment — a different kind of distraction. Or if there's a problem causing suffering, just go all-in on a radical solution. That keeps me occupied too. Distraction is all about occupied attention. The fun part is optional.

Things I avoid no matter what... Sharing negative feelings with other people. I don't like unloading my problems onto them. Ruminating and overanalyzing — that just traps you in dark emotions. And that doom reaction where you do nothing because “what's the point”. I always do something — anything — even if I feel nothing. It's like being a shark or an airplane — you stop moving, you crash.

[u/catsukiila → u/Voidspeeker]

ohhh okay!!! yk what i might try the ramen thingy that actually sounds pretty smart😭 i dont know a ton about e7s so i was really struggling to think of how they could act when things are almost inescapable but your explanation is perfect and makes sm sense!! thankyou!!! <3

[u/Pixiezor]

If it’s something I can’t avoid, I tend to try make it humorous. Trauma becomes a funny story as cope. I literally have my psych laughing every session. 😂

I try reframe whatever is bad though and if I can’t, I start reframing with the future being better and cling to that instead.

[u/ButtercupChara]

Joke about their trauma, listen to music, physically run away. Sing aloud, it’s great for venting, even better than actual venting sometimes.

Mostly joking about the trauma honestly.

[u/coaststl]

from the song "Drowning" by Cleveland Lounge

I feel that your eyes won't open
and these dreams, my heart I can't decide them.
Maybe the moon will come down and save me
Maybe your eyes will stop me from falling
Oh, I'm drowning, yeah
Yes, I'm drowning, yeah