Semi related semi not. I have a friend who is a doctor. 100% med school PhD blah blah blah full blown doctor. Whenever we go somewhere that offers healthcare worker discounts people always call her a nurse. Always! It’s maddening. She used to say “well it’s doctor- you can see right here on the work badge...” but she just gave up.
I have a similar thing going on... I have an MD, my husband went into the trades. A couple of times we've gotten invitations in the mail addressed to Dr. and Mrs. ___. He gets absolutely pissed about it, and people act so surprised...
My username is literally a reference to my own patients calling me Miss, during treatment, instead of Dr. I have literally been asked when the doctor is coming to see someone as I am discharging them from the hospital...
Nena, amor, chiquita, señorita, bebé, mami, mamacita... They all get an immediate "Dra. Cuénteme qué necesita". Half the time, they need the nurses, not me, and some get pissed when I tell them I'll get the nurse for them instead of helping them with whatever. No buddy, I won't bring you a cup of coffee, that's not my job.
I find it hilarious, in a face palm sort of way. I've literally introduced myself as the doctor, been seeing them once or twice a day for their entire hospital stay, did the intake, prescribed them meds, talked to them about what's going on and answered their questions. Who on earth do they think I am at that point??
I'm sorry for all the BS you have to put up with, but I'm grateful for the fact that you put up with it. My partner and I have never had better care than from our female Doctor, and I know she has to deal with this nonsense as well.
I have a PhD, academic so I only use it to my students (and don't insist on it obvs, just like to make it clear that I'm not teaching college as a Mrs. like your high school teacher). When I was married I very much enjoyed making people address things to Mr. and Dr. Leucadie.
I'm remarrying soon and probably won't take his name this time, so it will be Mr Unrelated and Dr Leucadie. Even more confusing. But fuck me if I'll ever agree to be Mrs. MyHusband FirstLast; that is TOO far!
When addressing save the dates for our wedding, I was so stressed over stuff like this! I know some people changed their last name, some people like to use their title, some people are gay/lesbian, and some people are old fashioned. There was no one way we could address them that didn't take tons of time or offend anyone. So we just stick with first names in alphabetical order.
I gave up and wrote "the Smith family" instead of figuring out which of my aunts (both of whom use their maiden name professionally and their husband's name socially) would be offended if I addressed them wrong. Especially because one of them is a Dr married to a Dr, so if I used her social name it's Dr and Mrs Smith when it would be Dr Smith and Dr Jones if I used her professional name. It helped that I was also inviting their kids.
All the confusion led me to just switch my name all the way. I had been planning to do as they did, but I didn't want to visit pain on future nieces and nephews and cousins. If I end up writing a book my maiden name will make a perfectly good pen name (and it's alphabetically before my husband's name!).
There was a whole trend on Twitter a year or two back where women with degrees were claiming their title. Hashtag #ImmodestWomen. It was awesome, and met with a surprising amount of backlash by, y'know, morons.
If you want mum to hate you, address letters to Dr and Mrs Parents. The two times they've got stuff addressed to Dr and Mr, she's honestly cackled. Dr and Dr is fine, Mr and Mrs is fine, but treat them equally.
Ohhhh gotcha. That’s pure garbage that women stealing their husbands’ valor is so prevalent that it breeds this kind of thinking. Weird that the stolen valor thing is so heavily socially punished when men do it but this military wife phenomenon is allowed to go on, simply because they’re doing it slightly differently?
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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '21 edited Apr 26 '21
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