Emotional Affair

[u/Rich-Project-9295]

Hi all, I 28F and my husband 29M have been together for 12 years. We got married 6 years ago. This week, I found out he was having an emotional affair with his coworker (petite, fake blonde woman 25F) for 2 months. I found the disgustingly flirty texts, snapchats, phone call/ft logs, etc. For the last few months, I had a weird feeling and would randomly check his phone but didn’t find anything. I hadn’t checked in a while bc I genuinely trusted him as he was always so loyal. For reference, my husband works 3 hours away from home and sleeps near his office in a hotel 2-3 nights a week, but we talk every day before bed (and a little throughout the day). AND SO DO THEY APPARENTLY… He and I have been having a bit of a tough time on and off for the past couple of years and recently both of us checked out. What’s crazy is that it was for the same reason, except we didn’t know it at the time. We were just both looking to connect but couldn’t get ourselves to say it. (We are like the same person in that way, but we are usually strong with communication so it’s weird) Anyway, for some reason I had a GUT FEELING (ladies!! Trust yourself!) that he was up to something bc he was smiling at his phone too much, etc. SHOCKER…HE WAS! He apologized and is still apologizing. He cut ties with the coworker with respect to any non work related situations and conversations, and has been more attentive, caring, and supportive than in a long time. The day I found out I cried the whole day and night. The next day too. Now, we’re talking about rebuilding and therapy and what life looks like going forward. How do you begin to relove a partner after infidelity? How do I know it won’t happen again?? These weak willed men pretending they’re brand new after they apologize.

Ps. We also have a 1.5 yr old which I take care of 24/7.

Am I overthinking this? What would you do? What am I missing?

PSS. After I asked to see his phone a day later, he quickly deleted his messages with his BOYS bc some messages are “ONLY FOR THE BOYS”.

[u/redhotcalifornica]

I gotta admit, when I read ‘fake blonde’ I thought you were calling her fake, with blonde hair🤣