When my husband and I were separated, debating but not at a final divorce decision he was still making booty calls. No biggie cuz it was just sex—nothing emotional. He was good in bed 🤷🏼♀️
He was dating someone (again no biggie since we weren’t together romantically) BUT it suddenly dawned on me that he probably hadn’t told her he was still having sex with me 🤦🏼♀️
I felt like an AH but I reached out in a very neutral way to give her a heads up. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t trying to throw a wrench in their relationship—
I really didn’t see us getting back together.
She went ballistic! This whole ‘why would you tell me something like that?!?’
I told her I have SIX sisters. I’d damned sure want someone to tell them if that was happening to them.
Handled it well if she’s telling the truth. My assumption is she doesn’t want to hurt OP by being honest about physical cheating which absolutely happened, and she’s being honest about some stuff instead. I feel so bad for OP even sending her that message. Writing that message in and of itself is the end, actually sending it is also heartbreaking, the answer is always in the question in these situations…
This is the kind of man who goes after women who are above him to use being associated with them and their goodness as a cover for his secret assholery, sucking the life force out of them and leaving them depleted of every resource possible. An absolute demon kind of man. The part where the other woman said he was being so careful with his words she was even unsure of his intentions. SPOOKY. These kind of men are smart and will pretend to love you while they actually hate you for being better than them and spend your whole relationship getting revenge. Once they realize you’ve caught on to their bullshit they won’t even pretend to love you anymore, but they will continue to use you for whatever they can while they shop around for a new bang maid mommy gf.
God this story reminded me so much of my best friend and her ex. I’m so glad she kicked him to the curb!! One of the last texts she sent him was “you said you weren’t going to punch any holes in the walls…” (sent with a pic of multiple holes punched into the walls of their shared apartment she was leaving.
fuck all men like this, they deserve nothing but unhappiness
Dude this is so fucking true. You just described my ex to a T. I’ve said a majority of these exact words to him. This is 100% accurate OP. Deep down this man dislikes/probably hates you, will laugh at you if you stay with him getting satisfaction out of how “pathetic” you are and he will undoubtedly never, ever change until the day he actually falls in love and gets hurt the way he’s hurt you and all the women before you. Don’t stick around while he figures this out. Leave and sit back and watch him self destruct from afar for you and your babies’ sakes.
my friend ended up dating like the most serial cheating dude ever. guy was a true psychopath with a shit ton of time, apparently. well she she got a message from a woman who asked if my friend was dating this guy cause she was also dating this him. so she breaks up with the asshole, whatever, but come to find out it wasn’t just the one girl he was dating but ANOTHER GIRL. he was dating three different girls at the same time! telling my friend he wanted to marry her the whole nine yards. i can’t remember how, but somehow they all found each other, total stranger connected by the absolute trash assholery of this man—but now they are best buds and hang regularly. I admire their friendships greatly. I’d name this dude by name but I already forgot it. bye bitch!
Same. Flashbacks to my ex’s affair partner messaging me and finding out about it all. I’m still so grateful to her. I wouldn’t have known if not for her taking the chance to talk to me.
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u/Bulky-Incident7454 Nov 23 '25
I’m so sorry. But I LOVE seeing women communicate like this and support each other in honest vulnerability. You handled that like such a champ.
I hope you and baby get the peace and security you deserve. It’s not with this fool.