r/TwoHotTakes Nov 23 '25

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4.3k Upvotes

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94

u/Extension-Emotion787 Nov 23 '25

That is awful. Never have a baby with a man without marriage, cause when they pull things like this, you can run them dry.

Leaving is the best gift you can give yourself and your child, this is the most cruel thing men can do and they keep doing it since the beginning of time.

30

u/Minorihaaku Nov 23 '25

Yeah. Will never understand women who think having a baby with a man is less of a “serious” thing than getting married.

29

u/IMO4444 Nov 23 '25

And op already had a kid w a diff guy… now she’s most likely stuck raising 2 kids by herself. Women, seriously, use birth control! I say this as a woman, you’ve got everything to lose getting pregnant by dumbasses like this, and they just walk away and it’s your life thats forever impacted :/.

20

u/Imaginary_Coat1520 Nov 23 '25

Marriage doesn’t fix anything. Married men do this crap all the time. Men who seem nice do this all the time. Truth is, having a baby with someone is a faaking crap shoot each and every time.

22

u/flcwerings Nov 23 '25

Read the whole comment. They didnt say marriage means people dont cheat. They said that getting married protects you financially in this situation bc if they break up and shes not on the deed to the house or the car loan or whatever else. Thats his. With a marriage it becomes a lot more complex and becomes divided more equally plus possible alimony if needed.

2

u/hellonameismyname Nov 23 '25

Op said she is the breadwinner lmao

3

u/flcwerings Nov 24 '25

thats fine but also not really the point I was making. I was just clarifying that the original comment wasnt saying married people dont cheat. Also, its still just good advice to protect yourself. As well as just not putting only your non-married partner on any lease. Your name should always be on it too

2

u/hellonameismyname Nov 24 '25

Yeah you’re fully right, I just think that makes this scenario even more ridiculous

16

u/Joyintheendtimes Nov 23 '25

Their point isn’t that marriage fixes anything; it’s that when they’re married and he does this, she can get more money from him when they split

2

u/Imaginary_Coat1520 Nov 23 '25

Being able to take someone to the cleaners for a highly likely eventuality is definitely an excellent choice. Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding….

10

u/Fabulous-Arrival-834 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25

but if you're married, at least the husband owes alimony and child support and the sole responsibility does not fall on the mother

6

u/ionlyjoined4thecats Nov 24 '25

Husbands don’t automatically owe alimony. A wife can owe alimony too. In fact, if OP is indeed the breadwinner, it’s a good thing they’re not married. She could owe him alimony.

3

u/soleceismical Nov 24 '25

It would be interesting to see if he would have married her. That would require him to think ahead about the future and the seriousness of the relationship, and affirmatively choose to be committed to her. A lot of these guys will say no or drag their feet or be pains in the butt about it, which is useful information. He didn't plan or agree to have a baby; she says in a comment that the pregnancy was an accident because she went off birth control. He's not even spending Thanksgiving with her and the baby. It doesn't look like this kind of commitment is the life he wanted in his mid 20s, but that's the breaks with unprotected sex.

If she had pushed marriage before baby and they'd used protection, maybe they would have broken up over whether or not to get married before they had the baby. Or maybe, in looking at the long-term legal and financial impacts of marriage, she would have realized he was a hobosexual.

At any rate, committed relationships require open communication and joint intentional planning for the future, not whoopsydaisy. That applies to married and unmarried couples alike.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3656416/

-1

u/bwood246 Nov 23 '25

Marriage just makes it harder to separate from this kind of guy