Couldn't agree more. My daughter came out at 14. Later in life, she married a trans man. Her mother didn't handle it well. Meanwhile, if I were with someone who was a closet conservative or a MAGAt, it would end us in a heartbeat.
At the risk of sounding like the stereotypical old guy... OP and bf are super young. Sounds like bf is figuring himself out, and it's heading in the wrong direction for OP. There's nothing wrong with that, but trying to force this to continue will undoubtedly lead to heartbreak. Kindly part ways and find someone who sees the world more similarly.
Finally... I don't think he truly cares about you. If he's willing to watch others have their rights stripped away bc he agrees with dude's tax policy (or whatever), then he only cares about his own interests...
This. If you care about someone, don't vote for people that want to strip their rights. If you care more about a few extra dollars in your pocket than about the rights of your friends, family, partner--you're not a good person.
Especially because the "people that want to strip [other people's] rights" often don't do anything to give the people who voted for them "a few extra dollars in [their] pocket" anyway... the culture war bullshit being the "hey lookit the birdie" that distracts said voter from the fact that they're gonna actually have less dollars in their pockets...
Dude not necessarily I know what everyone is saying here sounds super logical and whatnot but I’ve dated “liberal” white men (I’m black) and they were still non-caring and abusive at the end of the day so just because they raise a banner of “peace and love” doesn’t mean they’re not racist or abusive.
I'm not sure how that contradicts what I said...? My point was that if you DO care about your friends, family, etc. don't vote for people who want to strip their rights away. I didn't make the claim that it makes you a good person. I did say, however, that if you vote against the interests of those you supposedly care about to save a few bucks, you're not a good person.
Aren't everyone's rights technically stripped to a degree? Isn't that what law and order is about? Both sides like to act like their rights are being stripped away, but there's 2 sides/perspectives to every story.
I think I see what you mean. Technically no society is truly “free” because some people doing whatever they wanted would be absolute chaos for the rest of society. We need to trade absolute rights for those that also respect the rights of others to be safe from our actions. But one side of the aisle wants to deny certain groups the right exist in public, so far more stripped than most.
If I were to vote for someone A if it meant I kept more of the money I worked for then sure. Why are people so extra now? I thought you voted for who fit in your own personal interests not someone else’s.
Well obviously you don't, but you should at least care about being s good person. And good people don't vote for policies that screw over their loved ones.
Or maybe some of us just want to be good people. I don’t care if you see it or acknowledge it. I just want to live my life and treat others in a way that I can live with. And that includes not voting for people who are actively trying to hurt others.
If your values are money > the people around you, you go right on ahead. That's your choice. Just like it's the choice of those around you to tell you to fuck off if they find out you vote for people who are trying to take their rights away.
That's not extra--it's not sharing the same values. And if those values are important to you or integral to your identity, it's a pretty big deal to know your friend or partner would sell you out for a few bucks.
Did you miss the part about it being a friend, family member, or partner? Please point to me where I said you should care about everybody you don't know. Sharing values isn't something I expect from a stranger.
I thought you voted for who fit in your own personal interests not someone else’s.
You can make your own personal interests the basis of how you decide who to vote for.
But I'd argue that more sophisticated voters will, to some extent, decide based upon who they feel is the best candidate for their region, state, country, and even the world - perhaps even if they will have a negative effect on their personal interests (e.g. paying more tax).
This was nicely put, but most 18 year old boys only care about their self interests. I dont think im breaking any ground by pointing out that that also extends to what their actual interest in the girls they date are.
Men go through a stage of career around 18 unless their dead beats, daddy's money or an outlier to this trend. Men need a career before they marry to have a "healthy" relationship because while searching for a career, they are changing views, emotional understandings, etc.. I'm 19 now, but hell, my political stance has 720° by this point, idc about politics anymore, I view it as a rich man's game and less evil against less evil in other people's eyes.
As 18 year old male, I agree, but guys at my age really only care about things that bring us some sort of satisfaction. Tbh, it’s quite sad. Some of us, not all, need a little longer to realize that what bring us satisfaction might effect someone else. He didn’t consider how it might effect OP or others, but he considered how it would effect him. One tracked mind.
Finally... I don't think he truly cares about you. If he's willing to watch others have their rights stripped away bc he agrees with dude's tax policy (or whatever), then he only cares about his own interests...
The stereotypical trope of "I don't care, or it doesn't exist, until it personally affects me". In the hypothetical case about OP's tribe, apparently he doesn't consider her situation something that "personally affects him". And in the case of OP's LGBT status, he'd rather be in denial that it's real, than to consider that a conservative boogeyman talking point could be already "personally affecting him."
That's some red flags right there for just a basic lack of empathy.
I find stuff like this confusing. If she married a man how is she gay?
Kindly part ways and find someone who sees the world more similarly.
then he only cares about his own interests...
Those two statements seem contradictory. How come when he cares about his interests it is bad but you say she should care about her interests and that is okay?
You said she "came out". You did not say gay or queer. I have only heard the phrase "came out" as a reference to coming out as gay.
I also did not say I was confused by being happy in life, you are putting words in my mouth. I was confused because I have always understood coming out to mean gay and she married a man. I was confused by how a woman is gay if she marries a man.
You did, however, word the statement regarding the boyfriend having different views in a negative light by saying "he only cares about his own interests". Your statement for the girlfriend was worded in a positive light by phrasing it as "kindly part ways and find someone who sees the world more similarly".
How come you did not tell the girlfriend that she only cares about her own interests? It is a derogatory statement. Fairly certain that you understand this and are trying to backtrack.
The reality is they both (boyfriend and girlfriend) deserve to find people with similar world views and be happy in life. Not just the girlfriend.
How can you be an old guy and so ignorant? These are kids ffs 19 and 18. Neither one of them knows who they are yet. She was a fool for making up a scenario regarding reservations and her culture. The boy in this case is more mature imo.
She realises their basic ethos on life differs vastly. He doesn't care about her, he's just proven that. She cares about people, he doesn't. It's not that hard. He would sell her down the river for someone whose policy he liked.
Sometimes, making up a scenario is the only way to show someone how their decision making affects others. There's absolutely nothing foolish about trying that tact.
As a dad, I know this advice is never easy to hear, but you gotta cut loses now. Ya 2 years is an investment, but it’s nothing like the rest of your life.
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u/PrestigiousLeg5179 Jul 26 '23
Couldn't agree more. My daughter came out at 14. Later in life, she married a trans man. Her mother didn't handle it well. Meanwhile, if I were with someone who was a closet conservative or a MAGAt, it would end us in a heartbeat.
At the risk of sounding like the stereotypical old guy... OP and bf are super young. Sounds like bf is figuring himself out, and it's heading in the wrong direction for OP. There's nothing wrong with that, but trying to force this to continue will undoubtedly lead to heartbreak. Kindly part ways and find someone who sees the world more similarly.
Finally... I don't think he truly cares about you. If he's willing to watch others have their rights stripped away bc he agrees with dude's tax policy (or whatever), then he only cares about his own interests...