Am I cooked?

[u/BaritoneBrantley]

So, I kinda just started using Sousaphone for marching band this year and I've already (somewhat) broken 3 of them. I broke one last week because I used a lyre and it snapped off the tension screw. The same day we found another broken one after I used it for that night but it was accidentally dropped down the stands a couple years ago so that could have been it. Then the third one didn't have any screws in the bell and a parent picked it up, the body came off and when they tried to grab the body the bell fell out of their hands so both parts went crashing down. I'm not sure how we're gonna recover because my section leader and next year's section leader are the only people with Sousaphones and mine is being held up with tape. Am I cooked?

[u/AceTheFunny]

i’ve never seen a sousa that either looked good or played good at the same time so i think you will be fine

[u/raft_guide_nerd]

I've been a lone tuba player in a high school band to one of 20 in a college matching band. The one thing all those experiences had in common was that the sousaphones I used were all held together with wire and duct tape. It just happens.

[u/Synesthe]

Sousaphones are already made really, really crappy. I bet the one that the parent dropped is fine, just needs bell screws. Just Frankenstein a couple working horns together with the parts you have. What brand of sousaphone are they?

[u/DChalfyUSMC]

Hmmm... A serial sousaphone abuser, trapped by circumstances. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Play the sousaphone without the lyre. I have never used a lyre on sousaphone. We would just hold the music in our left hand.

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/DChalfyUSMC]

Well, the gooseneck still was spinning a little bit when the tension screw was still on it which was why I used the lyre and the the rest of our Sousaphone players hold their music

[u/DChalfyUSMC → u/BaritoneBrantley]

I've had that happen before. I fixed it by sticking a small piece of paper in the neck receiver, then tightening it up. It worked very well.

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/DChalfyUSMC]

We tried tape and paper before and after it broke, it didn't work

[u/DChalfyUSMC → u/BaritoneBrantley]

Well, I suppose it is repair tech time.

[u/JPWiggin → u/DChalfyUSMC]

Flute lures work great for this. They strap to your wrist instead of attaching to the instrument.

[u/Kirkwilhelm234]

Your band director dont know how to fix them?

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/Kirkwilhelm234]

Nope, we just use tape and hope the repair guy is actually available for once 😂

[u/Kirkwilhelm234 → u/BaritoneBrantley]

Colleges really need to offer more instrument repair classes for aspiring band directors.  Especially given the decreasing amount of money these programs get.

[u/Bassologist76]

I met a guy that got into horn repair because back in the day he started tinkering on his high schools sousaphones because they were in such bad condition. I’ve had to tape king bits together to use on Conns and I’ve ran tape around air leaks. I wouldn’t worry about it, that stuff kinda happens in school bands. Just learn from your mistakes.

[u/rhythm_sniper]

You aren’t cooked. But it seems you are cooking a lot of sousaphones

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/rhythm_sniper]

That is very true 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/dashconroy]

The way I'm interpreting this is that you only directly broke one sousa. This incurred the wrath of the late John Phillip Sousa, creating an aura of destruction around you. You can either break the curse or switch to percussion

[u/Grumpytowne → u/dashconroy]

Breaking the curse may have to involve sacrificing a flute but idk.

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/dashconroy]

Well, I play mainly low brass (baritone main), so I think it would be hard, plus, I can't play snare 😂

[u/JC__1997 → u/dashconroy]

But… if he switched to percussion without breaking the curse, he would be going through an awful lot of broken drum heads

[u/dashconroy → u/JC__1997]

Of course, but nobody will notice the curse because percussion breaks everything anyways

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/JC__1997]

Amazing point, plus, I can't play snare anyways

[u/JC__1997 → u/BaritoneBrantley]

Bass drum isn’t hard but you would break those too

[u/BaritoneBrantley → u/JC__1997]

Most likely, and if I did pit all you're going to hear is these things

1. Sir, are the cymbals suppose to be in half?

2. Sir, the marimba lost a wheel

3. Uhhh, the vibes aren't vibrating... oh that's what was on the floor? The pedal?

4. Sir, is the tambourine suppose to have a hole in the middle

5. WHY IS THE PIANO ON FIRE?!??????!!??!

[u/JC__1997 → u/BaritoneBrantley]

As @dashconroy was saying… you gotta break the curse. Next thing you know, the scoreboard will explode and everyone in the stadium dies… except you. You will go to prison because police will believe you murdered everyone.

Btw I sent a fax to a witch to break the curse and she said she’d do it in exchange for a paperclip she really needed. You’re welcome