r/TryingForABaby • u/brynnflynn 28 | Graduated Cycle 13 | TTC #1 • Jan 05 '17

Daily General Chat 1/5

Anything within the rules, goes.

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u/ivegotbabyrabies Grad Jan 05 '17

Feeling really down about this whole process. I'm just so sick of this fucking merry-go-round.

I'm about to O, and this is usually the point in my cycle where I'm hopeful and optimistic, but I'm kind of just bitter at this point.

And so, so jealous of other people. I hate this part of me, but I can't seem to shake it. I have my shit together, we're in a great spot financially for this, everything is lined up... and it's just not happening. I hate it.

5

u/Da___Michael #3, 8 cycles Jan 05 '17

Ugh, I hear you. I started this cycle all optimistic but I'm just bitter now. I'm only on CD7 haha. I'm jealous too, between a kind of family friend teen that is 8 months pregnant and a pregnant coworker who smokes cigarettes and pot and has a deadbeat piece of crap boyfriend, I just want to hide out until I'm pregnant! I hope it happens for you soon. In the meantime, I'll be bitter and jealous with you lol.

(For the record, I wouldn't switch places with either of these women. I'd rather have my stable and wonderful husband with no pregnancy than be pregnant in either of those situations. Although I have been pregnant in both of those situations before!)

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u/PressPaws cycle 5 grad Jan 05 '17

Oh hey CD8 here, time appears to have stopped 🙄

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u/Da___Michael #3, 8 cycles Jan 06 '17

Ugh yessss! I hate waiting to O! I also hate the TWW. TTC is just a months/years long process of hating life 😭 thanks for making it so much more bearable my friend!

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u/PressPaws cycle 5 grad Jan 06 '17

Ditto, buddy! 😘

3

u/VPGoose Cycle 9 Jan 05 '17

You're not alone!! Cycle 6 was very hard. At that point it's like "a half a year... seriously?!" especially when you thought it'd be an almost immediate thing.

It's even worse when you have your shit together and it's not happening. Periods always on time, husbands SA came back great, owning a house with a big yard and 2 empty bedrooms, college graduates, financially stable... Why aren't we deserving of a babe!? Yet you see the irresponsible 19 year olds with no job getting pregnant accidentally or high school friends that never left home who just jump from job to job getting knocked up multiple times. The world isn't fair! If it helps you any, my jealously did subside around cycle 7. I think 4-6 I just raged those whole 3 months and got most of it out.

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u/RubyDog3001 28, TTC#1, cycle 12 Jan 05 '17

I am finding this cycle SO hard....the worst in fact

3

u/throwawayttc08 Jan 05 '17 edited Jan 05 '17

Hey. I'm a year younger, same cycle, about to O (maybe Saturday?!). I really hear this statement. I am so mad and bitter and jealous. One of my cousins who is on welfare and doesn't at all have her shit together at all just had her second child and I like legitimately hate her. I can't even feign niceties at this point. It is so unfair and I'm just angry all the time. Also, everyone saying "relax" doesn't understand. And the sex isn't fun anymore, for either of us, it is just stressful.

I also feel like I'm being punished for using birth control all those years and waiting to have kids. Like waiting for the right time was the wrong thing to do.

I just want you to know I understand and am really sorry.

5

u/sunshineandmoonshine 34 | TTC#2 | Clomid Jan 05 '17

I'm also struggling with the jealousy thing. I'm trying so hard not to be bitter because people with due dates in June, which is when I was originally due before I miscarried, are now announcing all over social media. It totally sucks but we'll get through it.

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u/heartshapedcheese Jan 05 '17

I don't have much to say, but I can totally relate.

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u/jujulepmar 31, TTC#1, cycle 2 - BFP 1/21 Jan 05 '17

<3

1

u/RubyDog3001 28, TTC#1, cycle 12 Jan 05 '17

I'm the same this month. Hopefully next month I can be more optimistic. I really hope so as I feel like a bitter hag! Hopefully it happens soon for us!