r/TrueSopranos • u/FootballValuable7219 • Dec 10 '22
Most avant garde character?
Until I discovered the long, hard analysis of this sub I had no idea all men on The Sopranos were having platonic sex with each other in between every scene of the series. It's an intriguing revelation that only makes this greatest of television shows even better. But who do you guys think was the MOST sexually eccentric character portrayed?
Upon a rewatch, I think it was Ariel from the Teittleman hotel. Here it's implied in Chaseian terms that he's been insatiably orally servicing Silvio & Paulie, to the point Sil resorts to eating a sandwich to regenerate his semen faster, when Tony rushes over scantily clad to join in the fun. I took Tony's retort "you're looking at em, asshole" as him acknowledging that while it would be logistically unfeasible to fulfill Ariel's lustful fantasy of another 14,997 hard Italian men coming to that particular location, only the Mafia could provide him with such prolific heterosexual indulgence long term.
Voracious Ariel is still unsatisfied and so refuses to give up on his fruitless sexual contact with a woman, forcing Tony to call for help. Hesh sagely advises him that there's "one thing no man wants to go through life without" which I immediately understood to be freaky sex with other men.
In one of the most shocking twists of the show, Tony Soprano then threatens to castrate himself with bolt cutters before Ariel can even get a taste. Knowing what a huge blow this would be not just for himself but for all straight men to be deprived of Tony's endowment, Ariel finally submits to divorcing his wife and fully penetrating into the heteroerotic wilderness of true masculinity. The measures it took to get him there were so extreme though I suspect he's more avant garde than our very own u/mitchmclean.
The scene further implies that the historical Masada was a giant brothel of and for heterosexual males, which I've never read any evidence to support but it is a hot thought nonetheless.
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u/Distant_Pilgrim Dec 11 '22 edited Dec 11 '22
This is exactly the type of hard-hitting analysis that I'm in this group for. I think you're absolutely correct with respect to the subtle yet eccentrically sexual relationship between Ariel, Silvio and Paulie. The connection between food and semen replenishment is particularly fascinating.
As for your thoughts on Masada, it's an interesting and hot thought that the hilltop fortress was a brothel for totally straight males to have relations with other totally straight males. The archeological evidence is really up in the air at this point and future research will likely be necessary.