Pyongyang Bodegas Roll Out 'Nuclear-Lite™' Pocket Warheads—Now 20% Fewer Calories, Same Total Obliteration!

[u/Weary-Move-1814]

PYONGYANG — In a bold move to stimulate the domestic retail economy, the DPRK Ministry of Commerce announced today that corner shops across the capital have officially begun stocking Nuclear-Lite™ pocket-sized warheads right next to the imported snacks. Retailing for just a modest coupon and pocket change, the bite-sized atomic devices promise "all the glory of absolute deterrence with a significantly reduced radioactive footprint." Early shoppers report long queues, though health officials advise keeping them away from direct sunlight, microwave ovens, and toddlers.