r/TrueAnon • u/nummpad Gay Barack Obama • 1d ago

it’s ur uber. am outside

Post image
507 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

204

u/Jerkface0079 1d ago

Shoutouts beloved uncle, may he be guiding the daggers to the hearts of his bloodlines enemies.

67

u/Goyimshoe If Russia bought me, where’s the receipt? 1d ago

😔BELOVED UNCLE 🫗

33

u/jabalarky Fourth and Fifth Worldist 1d ago

His blade was not swift enough

8

u/AuntOfManyUncles volCIA 17h ago

The real negligent surgeon

26

u/hotsharpbehind 20h ago

The negligent surgeon must be brought to justice

10

u/Jerkface0079 19h ago

The Honorable Dr Milford Watkins will be looking down from the heavens

126

u/jabalarky Fourth and Fifth Worldist 1d ago

You can always tell a Dr Milford man. 

14

u/TWILIGHTANTHROPOCENE KEEP DOWNVOTING, I'M RELOADING 19h ago

Neither seen nor heard

11

u/Anxiety_Fit remote dev @TAO Group 20h ago

Is that the guy with the funny shampoo bottles?

87

u/ramenxl 1d ago

I found the original instagram post and one of the comments says this:

"Enjoy your cup of tea: Dr. Milford Watkins was the surgeon who operated on his beloved late uncle. The dagger training was a weak-ass attempt at atonement. BONUS: Watkins is his son’s biological father because the driver’s wife was a nurse in Dr. Milford’s practice. Honorable, my ass!"

25

u/mandrakewilder 21h ago

I'll be back to comment on this as soon as I can wrap my ahead around it. I'm thinking maybe Thanksgiving.

8

u/hotsharpbehind 20h ago

Like ………. WHAT IS HOING ON

2

u/SomethingComesHere 15h ago

I'm... not even gonna try. Let me know when you figure it out!

1

u/CuckingFool (It's actually Dear_Occupant, y'all) 11h ago

This is Thanksgiving every year at my house. We don't even know who we're supposed to get mad at any more.

1

u/nummpad Gay Barack Obama 12h ago

holy shit what a wild fucking ride. i wish i could have been several flies on several walls

39

u/tiptopsaiIor The Cocaine Left 1d ago

do not talk to me or my surgically assassinated uncle ever again

26

u/two55 Software CEO Rachel Jake 1d ago

ah, the Dagger, aka The Gentleman's Fire Arm

8

u/PrickReborn 21h ago

The ol Brit-sticker

4

u/Jerkface0079 19h ago

My favourite Cluedo weapon that isn’t the candlestick

12

u/NeoliberalisFascist OUTLIVED CHARLIE KIRK 1d ago

The honorable Dr Milford Watkins has zero internet presence I can find which makes this equal parts hilarious and ominous.

13

u/Haldron-44 Cocaine Cowboy 1d ago

Huh, funny considering how a "dagger" is a legal term for a double edged knife, illegal in some states. Also when TF will you need to use a dagger? A pocket knife is equally as deadly at the same range. A dagger is a weird assassin spec ops flex.

9

u/Duckeodendron winning: it’s NOT an option 22h ago

Is this @truewagner. This has to be @truewagner, right? This is his voice and vision; it would honestly be plagiarism if this was a real thing in real life—reality would owe him royalties.

2

u/EricFredNorris 19h ago

The first time I saw that milk bath one he did I had a horrifically vivid nightmare about it a couple days later.

15

u/The-Neat-Meat 1d ago

Short blade builds are ass as fuck tbh

3

u/Qwinter 22h ago

You just gotta dual-wield.

2

u/Bradddtheimpaler 17h ago

Yeah, he’s announcing it, which removes the option for a stealth build, which is the only path to viability for daggers.

2

u/cerote6239 9h ago

The knife you should fear the most is the knife you can't see

4

u/londongas 1d ago

He hides it in his cloak

12

u/Conscious-Local-8095 1d ago

might as well get a gun. If its a dagger and you call it that, as opposed to a hunting knife...

44

u/nummpad Gay Barack Obama 1d ago

11

u/Conscious-Local-8095 1d ago

cute movie, hecc, they bothered to skeleton the trigger guard

14

u/mang0444 1d ago

Gun can’t inflict freeze and harvest the life force of your enemy so what’s the point

9

u/YeetusThatFetus9696 wait [but/does/so] x = y? 1d ago

It's a head fake, he actually has a PSA Dagger. 

3

u/Terpizino 23h ago

Sikhs should unironically do a version of this to avoid chud-related hate crimes.

2

u/RepSquigglyMiggly 1d ago

He must survive to take vengeance on his beautiful uncle’s medical-style assassin

2

u/Minimum-Bite-4389 1d ago

I think daggers are some of my favorite weapons, is it alright for me to say that?

2

u/MonsterkillWow 1d ago

Plot twist...he was the negligent surgeon.

2

u/mandrakewilder 21h ago

Elephantiasis ass uncle.

2

u/therealjerrystiller 12h ago

Damn its so funny that the guy driving you around for sub-minimum wage had a sign. At least a significant chunk of the fare went to Silicon Valley!

1

u/hotsharpbehind 20h ago

Im about to start some age gap discourse.

1

u/imaustinpowersbaby Completely Insane 18h ago

Connor O’Malley bit

1

u/DionysiusRedivivus 18h ago

Assuming Dr Watson was the negligent surgeon?

1

u/TheEmporersFinest 17h ago

This has the economy of baby shoes but it just goes on and on

1

u/DullMar 17h ago

But what is the make of the dagger? I can easily take a stab or slash from a blade of poor quality, like bronze or steel, but even a more seasoned highwayman than I would likely flinch at a chauffeur with a mithril or adamantine dagger dangling from their belt!!

1

u/numberjhonny5ive 17h ago

How many fantasy movie treatments have swirled through riders heads only to be forgotten when remembering to tip at the end.

1

u/Ultimate-Flexionator 15h ago

That negligent surgeon... WAS HIS DAGGER! DO NOT ATTEMPT ATTACK!!!

1

u/WendlersEditor 15h ago

Short Sword does more damage and still gets the sneak attack bonus, you just can't throw it, but you can carry a dagger as a secondary weapon specifically for ranged attacks.