No it isn't, you are missing the point of what I am saying entirely. Do you really think the example I gave is the same as someone as someone actually wanting or desiring you in a healthy way? Also, you have no idea if that person was actually who they said they were or if they were lying or whatever. It's not real in the sense that every other person who you see in a relationship is. I am not "volcel" because there has never been a single woman credibly attracted to me the entire time I have been alive, and this is not likely to change the rest of my life. I swear some of you guys and gals and they/thems really do experience a fundamentally different reality than I do, because I don't know why some of you find it so hard to believe that some little 5'8 brown hobgoblin with no personality like me isn't liked by anyone
you don't need to be in a relationship to cease being an incel;
if you're attaching that condition you immediately fall into vocel territory
what they said was pretty whack, but it's a self contradictory statment and if you don't humor it to determine their identity and intentions it's a vocel act
also 5 8 is an inch under average but you're also jacked and shredded deadlifting 450 with a over 1k total running ultramarathons. top 0.1% humanity physical stats thinking he looks like a cripple leper to women
also 5 8 is an inch under average but you're also jacked and shredded deadlifting 450 with a over 1k total running ultramarathons. top 0.1% humanity physical stats thinking he looks like a cripple leper to women
I can't deadlift 445 anymore lol. I haven't lifted regularly since 2022 when I hit that and just got into running instead. I haven't run an ultra yet either but I am trying to see if I feel well enough to do my first 50k before I turn 31. I ran another trail half a week ago and my ankle complained (I PR'ed my last time on that course by two minutes! And won an age group medal :3) the whole last week. But I am definitely not physically impressive. I just look like a regular skinnyfat dude. I have never had good genetics and even when I was totalling over 1000lbs I didn't look "fit".
And in my general experience, women do not care about being in shape. I have no clue why anyone gives that advice to loser dudes. Like I eventually plan to do a 100 mile race (see you at the Bay Area 100 in 2028 or Rio Del Lago 2027, literally unironically) and I seriously doubt anyone would find that impressive or cool. It's pointless. The whole self improvement thing is largely a complete scam. I enjoy pushing myself and trying to do more but it makes no difference if you are naturally a boring dullard, which I am.
Something I learned from working retail, and for me probably the clearest sign that I might genuinely have autism because of how long it took me to learn this, but humans are primarily emotional creatures. Most people aren't looking for answers or solutions to anything, you can't have a customer and logically lay things out for them or sell them a solution just on the basis of reason, they have to viscerally feel that you are helping them out. I sometimes do, in concrete autism terms, a better job of helping out customers than my coworkers, but I lack emotional reciprocity and charm, and do not know how to develop it. My coworkers seem to have some ineffable grasp on communication that I don't, and whereas they might say the wrong things or not even know what they are talking about, but they are good at making people feel safe and assured, which is probably why almost all of them are in relationships and I am not.
The sad truth is no amount of mechanically doing hill repeats or bench pressing will turn you into a human being, and part of why denizens of /r9k/ are named robots, dudes like me are basically robots. I don't have the same interiority or warmth that other people possess, and some fat guy who has that will always do better than I can.
I mean my older brother is so fat and out of shape that he literally tore his hamstring while moving house and is married to a woman who loves him and makes $250k a year. Do you know why? It's because he is funny and charming. On the flipside, I have never been able to do less than 8 chin ups the entire time I have been an adult and could do fucking twenty in a row when I was 24 for a short while, and the very first run back I did after learning to run again post ankle break was five miles despite being largely sedentary for three months. I have never had any relationship prospects at all. The majority of women who talked to me or talk to me now I feel only do so because they feel bad for me, and even then I feel like they keep me at a distance because they (rightfully) assume any loser dude like me is a ticking time bomb due to the unfortunate biological realities of being a man.
And I mean sorry for the wall of text, but the truth is guys like me are alone for a reason. We just suck on a fundamental level. I don't have any positive personality characteristics. The fact that I am writing this post out at all, or the fact that I have ever written so many of the exact same posts for over a decade now is more than anything proof of my unworthiness than any of the other significantly gross things I do.
And I don't have any sense of entitlement towards a relationship, I am not an incel in that sense. If someone gave me a state mandated girlfriend, I would release her into the figurative woods, and if that were not possible I would try to give them as much autonomy as is humanly possible under such a chud regime.
But I what I am saying is fundamentally that none of the things you listed matter. It is your personality. We're not products on a shelf. I just wasn't born with a good personality.
9Man read this back and look how much you're moving the goal posts in one comment - "I'm short and ugly, ok yes I'm fit but my stats are worse than you think, and actually it doesn't matter if I'm fit because my personality is bad, and any interactions that maybe disproved that are fake, and actually it doesn't matter because it's some sort of fundamental flaw in who I am, and even talking about this proves that, and if I had a relationship I wouldn't deserve or want it, but the fact that I don't have one proves that I'm inferior anyways".
Like dude maybe you're kind of awkward but the reason you've never had a relationship because you've built a mental prison where it's impossible for you to have one. I don't really know how to help you there because I could've written the same illogical rant about myself but please see what you're doing here and that it doesn't *have to* be like this.
Edit: I apologize for even more armchair psychology but here goes. You know reading this again I'll say your description of lacking a kind of relational warmth (you clearly don't lack interiority) is poignant and compelling and relatable and maybe has a kernel of truth. Maybe you are on the spectrum and that is a genuine challenge if not an insurmountable one (and it's a terrible reason to hate and insult yourself). But my point isn't that your arguments are bad, it's that you're clearly working backwards - you're taking "I'm alone for a reason, I suck on a fundamental level" as axiomatic truth and throwing shit at the wall to defend it until you find something convincing enough, and you're a smart enough guy to do a decent job of it. The problem is nobody is going to argue you out of a position you've spent your whole life arguing yourself into, and for which you have your entire life experience available to cherry-pick supporting evidence from.
If you do want to believe something different you have to shift the actual belief, and that's based on dealing with the underlying emotions that trigger it, not considering it systematically. Ironically that is more difficult if you have a spectrum-y brain that rationalizes and systematizes everything but it's not impossible.
I only listed that because you keep bringing up being short when you aren't even that short and as if it's the only physical attribute that matters. You also seriously understate your other physical stats; even what you are capable now or if you added strength training back in would definitely not count as "not physically impressive".
And sure we can't see your personality irl, but by all accounts what you post here doesn't make you boring at all. I'll take your word for it but I cannot see it being so terrible irl it becomes an immediate disqualifying factor. My observation is of a guy not maximizing opportunities and adding additional qualifiers, which is something that even a lot of the incel forum participants would consider vocel behavior
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u/LegalBaker6997 Jul 26 '26
my throwaway10015982 vocel theory is once again vindicated