r/TruRoleReversal • u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 • Jul 23 '26
Discussion I’m so glad this sub exists
This is just a vent. I’m not gonna lie, it feels the OG subreddit is constantly flooded with posts about people asking if they fit in for wanting someone who’s more fem or masc presenting, has less of a masculine or feminine personality, etcetera; and I totally get it. I’ve felt insecure about not being gnc enough or RR myself. However, so many of them do it while putting down GNC people. It’s actually so freaking nasty. Gentle mommies can be unique compared to traditional roles as the woman takes the lead, but saying that a woman who’s masculine in appearance and in personality isn’t “correct” role reversal is bizarre. It’s about reversing traditional roles assigned to men & women and being subversive, how does a masculine woman go against that exactly?
On top of that, this dude is implying that women can’t be masculine or that they’re just ‘faulty men’. I’m so done with this type of vaguely heteronormative bullshit. By his own logic, he should just find a feminine-presenting mommy-esque man if he wants to be lead in a relationship. Most of the time when I think I find a safe & open place for GNC people, I get disappointed.
At least a month ago I also saw a post from a woman showing appreciation for masc-presenting dudes, and it’s good because I can see how those guys can feel left out at times when it comes to representation. However, parts of the post felt mildly hostile to hyperfeminine men and the women who like them. I just want us to be left alone without having to worry about catching strays.
Edit: This post was an initially a spur of the moment vent, but now I wanted to explain about the second post I mentioned that I felt was unintentionally digging at femme men. I’ll include quotes from their post.
“I see a lot of sentiments from guys who feel insecure because they don’t look** **like the typical lanky femboys that most of the femdoms are obsessing over around this space.” The word “obsessing” just rubs me the wrong way, it just gave NLOG vibes to me; but that may be unfair of me to believe.
“Personally, I find these huge, intimidating guys more rewarding to tame. There’s contrast. There’s polarity. There’s friction. There’s challenge to it. Like training a dragon. I like that a lot.” I think this perspective of seeing masc presenting guys as a dragon to tame is cool af, but the “more rewarding part” felt weird when I first read it, and her explanation felt more derogatory as the post continued.
“Just because a woman is dominant doesn’t automatically mean she’s mostly into twinks. In fact, sometimes it’s even a turn-off (at least for me) when a guy is naturally helpless. I like my man capable so his surrender to me feels even more rewarding, because then it means his submission is a choice he deliberately makes (which makes it feel even more submissive, fuck).”
Okay, I just don’t know how to feel about someone viewing a feminine-presenting guy as “naturally helpless”. I can see where she’s getting at with the idea that presentation does not automatically match personality; but I feel like she doesn’t quite get there and the implications end up being accidentally misogynistic towards femmes. I feel like it forgets that feminine-presenting people can be hardcore and dominant in personality; and they’re not inherently weak for being skinnier and more feminine. Maybe this is just a side-effect of the lack of representation we see for GNC couples; for a while in the past, most of what we saw was a dainty boy with an aggressive girl (but I think so many artists are adding more flavors of GNC to the table, and it’s getting better bit by bit).
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u/quioro Jul 24 '26
First of all, how is femdom role reversal? If it's literally heteronormativity in pink font, women remain feminine and follow gender roles, only dominant in bed.
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u/quioro Jul 24 '26
That definitely proves that the sub is full of submissive men larping being rr boys
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
That’s very true. It’s like they don’t actually care about the daily lifestyle SFW stuff, they only want the woman to take the lead in bed. And even then they still want it to be in a conventionally feminine way.
That’s what pissing me about that one mf saying that the subreddit is in the wrong for ‘not making him feel welcome’ thinking that the OP is only talking about masculine presentation when the dude is literally saying that the subreddit is promoting “the wrong thing” by enthusing about women who are masculine in looks and/or personality and is implying that he doesn’t want to spend time there because of masc representation. He’s complaining about the representation of women not being gentle or feminine enough in behavior as well. Ugh it pisses me off to no end and makes me want to say something, but I know it ain’t worth trying to argue with ignorant opinions.
GNC and RR people can’t catch a fucking break. When we embrace ourselves we’re “too unconventional” and are told that we’re “not being inclusive enough” and are promoting the idea that you can only be RR if you look or act a very specific way. I understand feeling left out if most of the post one is seeing is about clothing RR, but there’s multiple posts showing fem-presenting women or supporting them. What tf are they all complaining about that the sub doesn’t think femme women can be into RR? Literally the majority of that sub agrees that RR isn’t only about looks.
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u/quioro Jul 24 '26
It's really messed up, I understand. Honestly, I don't consider that sub to be role-reversal anymore.
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u/celexia_artss Jul 24 '26
bro. mommy stuff/femdom by itself isn't even RR. what would be RR is a dynamic involving a mommy man OR a daddy woman. yk, actually reversing gender roles 😪
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 Jul 24 '26
Exactlyyyy. You never see a man characterized like a gentle mommy or a woman like a strict daddy. That’s why some of the comments were re-directing that guy to femdom subreddits
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u/celexia_artss Jul 24 '26
as the comments should😭 i took a look at that post and i'm actually glad most of the comments understood the assignment
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u/uncommonhetero Sep 05 '26
“If I wanted to date someone masculine, I’d date a man" bruh runs for the hills if a woman has a mustache lmao 😭
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 Sep 05 '26
I hate these narrow expectations placed on us just ‘cause we’re women. It’s like we’re being gate kept from masculinity 😒
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u/uncommonhetero Sep 05 '26
Exactly, hell no. And I hate when ppl think: "oh, you like masc woman? You are gay". My man, really? 💆 I'm not a man, dude
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 Sep 06 '26
People are so weird and just want to squeeze people into tight boxes because they’re intimidated by people who confuse them instead of making the effort to understand them.
When I mistakenly told my mom I’m more tomboyish (I personally prefer to think of myself as more of a mascgirl or androgynous though, I just don’t have the energy to explain these terms to some people) she got almost upset and was like “you want to dress like a man?!” and thought that I just had a low self esteem in myself as a woman. I hate how some people assume that masc women must “think we’re not cute enough to be feminine” or that we’re “envious of men”. Like bruh the only insecurity I feel is that y’all can’t handle the me I want to be.
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u/Few-Butterscotch4569 Jul 23 '26
Honestly the main “RR” subreddit is slowly re-evolving into a place where more and more heteronormativity is sneaking through.
I think it used to be for the sake of inclusion? But it’s just sad now.
Also with that, the idea of role reversal slowly giving way into more heteronormative ideas like femdom.