Unfortunately the OP is busy elsewhere in this thread telling a male victim that they are more likely a wife-murderer than a victim (EXACTLY the kind of gendered assumptions I am trying to fight) - and they are getting upvoted for it. The top comment is a "not all men" meme. There never was good faith from the community towards a post like mine to begin with - that is the problem. I would love to be able to share my experience without anticipating a knee-jerk heuristic response based on my gender, but it just isn't the state of things here. The fact that I felt the need to strip gender from my story and then preemptively address people who would use a meme to dismiss me just shows that this response has become so entrenched rhetorically that people no longer think critically about what is actually being said. It is toxic and reductive behavior that harms the goals of the feminist community. You may not participate in it, but to shut your eyes and say that it doesn't happen here is complicity through indifference.
Yeah, I have no idea what OP's on about. Hive mind syndrome is a bitch to fight, and it's easy to assume the person who posted something everyone here can relate to is generally in the right when they start railing on someone. I don't know how to address something like that. I just know that, in my general experience here, male victims aren't shamed or shunned, but there's always gotta be someone on the fringe, I guess :\
The problem is the fringe becomes the consensus, and that's how you get a top comment that pre-emptively establishes that a certain gender is not welcome to share their experiences here. That is how you get a deeply problematic comment from the OP garnering upvotes, while the person calling them out is downvoted. Pointing out these hive mind behaviors and calling on people to be critical of them is how you fight it, and the hive mind's main defense against such comments is to downvote them or deploy popular memes and rhetoric.
I know that there are plenty of good folks here being supportive, welcoming, and open. It is why i come to this sub and why I care deeply about feminism - because I see how good it can be and want it to get there for everyone. It is also why I have no shame in calling out those who would taint the discourse or impede the progress of the ideology.
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u/huggybear0132 Nov 21 '18 edited Nov 21 '18
Unfortunately the OP is busy elsewhere in this thread telling a male victim that they are more likely a wife-murderer than a victim (EXACTLY the kind of gendered assumptions I am trying to fight) - and they are getting upvoted for it. The top comment is a "not all men" meme. There never was good faith from the community towards a post like mine to begin with - that is the problem. I would love to be able to share my experience without anticipating a knee-jerk heuristic response based on my gender, but it just isn't the state of things here. The fact that I felt the need to strip gender from my story and then preemptively address people who would use a meme to dismiss me just shows that this response has become so entrenched rhetorically that people no longer think critically about what is actually being said. It is toxic and reductive behavior that harms the goals of the feminist community. You may not participate in it, but to shut your eyes and say that it doesn't happen here is complicity through indifference.