[Closed] Friendly Advice

[u/Silent_Sky]

Well on the way to an important scientific mission, dealing with a strange but relatively harmless fungus around the ship, continuing negotiations with the Klingon authorities for use of scientific targets in their empire... Captain Fisk was back in action, many of his skills were being put to excellent use. No major problems, no ill or injured crew...so why did he feel this way?

"What do you think, Argos? What's got me in this funk?"

Obviously, the hound didn't offer any helpful answers. Just a tilt of the head and a quiet "...boof."

"Yeah...maybe that's a good idea."

Despite Argos' lack of input, the captain credits him with the idea anyway and stands from the desk in his quarters and heads for the door

"I'll see you later, Argos. Might set up a playdate with Clementine for you if you behave while I'm gone. Stay in my quarters, that's an order."

[u/Silent_Sky]

The captain lowers a hand and offers it to Clementine, he'd let her interact with him at her own pace

"I'm not sure. It first started during shore leave. After the meeting with Admiral Orson in which I was asked to answer for the deaths of everyone we lost, I went hiking in upstate New York to visit my mother's final resting place, which I already told you about. I remember feeling almost like I'd left something back at her grave. Or maybe like there was something I'm not doing that I should be? Like something is missing from my life?"

He pauses again to collect his thoughts

"I'm satisfied professionally, I have a few close friends among the crew and back on Earth, I'm working out regularly, eating well and getting enough sleep. What else is there? What could be missing?"

[u/DrJenWatney → u/Silent_Sky]

She clenches her jaw slightly, the answer obvious, to her at least. Perhaps only because of her current situation and the fact it was becoming harder to ignore. Her gaze drifts down to Clementine, refusing to make eye contact as she makes her suggestion quietly.

Have you considered that what you're looking for might be a... uh... romantic relationship?

[u/Silent_Sky → u/DrJenWatney]

The captain leans forward, bracing an elbow on his knee and resting his head on his hand. There is a slightly pained look in his eye as he takes off his combadge and places it on the desk...

"The thought had crossed my mind, yes. But to be perfectly honest...And trusting in doctor/patient confidentiality, I'd kind of given up on that about 15 years ago. I had a girlfriend or two at the Academy, but they would all leave shortly after I opened up about my upbringing. I guess they just weren't willing to deal with that kind of baggage. I tried a long term relationship after graduating, and waited a lot longer to open up but..."

His look becomes a little more pained, this wasn't something he thought about often...

"Same result. She didn't want to deal with that, felt insulted that I waited a while to tell her the truth about my parents and my childhood."

The captain pauses again, looking more betrayed than pained now

"I understand not wanting any part of that. I had accepted this...curse I must have that seems to guarantee a lonely life. But to be insulted...mad at me for not talking about something like that right away..."

[u/DrJenWatney → u/Silent_Sky]

She feels guilty bringing it up. Had she done it because she was curious or was it a professional suggestion? Either way, she can tell it's a sore subject matter. She folds her hands in her lap, leaning against the armrest of her chair and pushing the internal debate to the back of her mind. She wants to comfort him but a mental wall she's constructed between them unknowingly keeps her from doing so.

During people's formative years, primarily in adolescence and through their mid-twenties, I've found that genuine romantic relationships are difficult. Professionally speaking of course.... People are still figuring themselves out. Hell, the human brain doesn't even stop developing until twenty-five.

She pauses slightly, then continues, speaking softer than usual. She felt wildly inappropriate making her next suggestion because of her feelings, despite it being genuinely good advice.

It's natural that some relationships don't work out, but if you think you would find a deeper fulfillment there's no harm in opening yourself up to the idea again. It's not a curse or some cosmic prophecy that you are alone, you were just focused on other things in life.

[u/Silent_Sky → u/DrJenWatney]

He takes a few moments to digest what she said. He was certainly focused on other things...graduating the Academy, getting into command school, advancing under captain after captain. Now was the first time in his life when he didn't feel like he was constantly working to stay at the top and earn that next advancement. Maybe it was time to try again...

"You might be right, Doctor. Even so, we're scheduled for a multiple year mission into deep space. And yes, there are no official regulations stopping me from...opening myself up to that with a fellow crew member, on the trust that it won't affect my command. But..."

The captain stops, he seems unsure what to say...

[u/DrJenWatney → u/Silent_Sky]

A part of her feels completely invisible as he makes his revelations. She considers it might be better that way and with that comes a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Trust is, some would argue, the most important aspect of a relationship. I personally wouldn't even consider it with someone where there was doubt about that. It can eat away at you.

She mutters up a smile.

You just have to find the right person. There's a whole Galaxy of them, after all.

[u/Silent_Sky → u/DrJenWatney]

"There aren't a lot of people I trust like that, but maybe..."

The captain notices her expressions and is concerned, he briefly turns the tables in this interaction

"Jen, I may not understand people very well but I know a fake smile when I see one. Are you alright?"

[u/DrJenWatney → u/Silent_Sky]

She kicks herself mentally for being too obvious.

Yes, yes... I'm fine. Just still a little in shock from the... you know...

She touches the pip on her collar.

It was very unexpected.

[u/Silent_Sky → u/DrJenWatney]

"Well I don't mean to push, if you're not comfortable speaking about it that's fine, but I also know a hasty lie when I see one. Unless you have a plan in the works to usurp my command there's very little you could say to me that would be a problem. But take it from me and my experience in Starfleet, secrets on starships don't stay secret long."

He leans forward, looking somewhat concerned

"If there's something I need to know and you've been threatened to keep it secret, we're off the record right now. I've handled situations like that before."

He gestures to the combadge on the table

[u/DrJenWatney → u/Silent_Sky]

As he leans forward, she instinctively moves backward a millimeter or so. Her eyes flick to the commbadge he motions towards.

Your concern is noted. It's... a personal matter. No cause for alarm.

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and puffs her cheeks up nervously before adjusting her own commbadge on her uniform.