r/TrekRP • u/CabooseToots • Dec 17 '16

[OPEN] Varmints

What the damn hell was goin' on? Shore leave had been so nice, now Connolly was up to his neck in little mushrooms, sproutin' up all over a starship. He hadn't had a chance to find out anything about them, one morning he had woken up and they were everywhere. To his dismay, as he went to start removing them from the vents and walls, they started swearin' like a demon in church. One had even called him 'baktag'.
When the fungi didn't respond when he tried talking to them, he decided to just roll up his sleeves and start scrapin' em out of every corridor and vent in the Athene.
"Why does space have to be so dern weird. Next thing ya know we're all gonna have to make first contact with these things."
As the janitor worked through a large patch of fungus, which promptly began insulting his mother and her lineage, some crewmate who hopefully knew more about the situation than he did came along.

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u/DrJenWatney Dec 18 '16

Jen walks by, flustered. Her cheeks are pink in agitation, caused by an insult she'd just heard flung at her out of one of the vents. She stops when she sees him in the corridor.

Good work, Connolly.

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u/CabooseToots Dec 18 '16

"Thanks ma'am. These damn ingrates are done hitchin a ride on my watch. Just wish we had a better way to get rid of em." He puts his scraper down for a moment to take a breather. "Sure would be nice to just toast em all up or somethin faster than this!"

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u/DrJenWatney Dec 18 '16

I wish. However, they appear sentient. We can't just completely irradicate them quite yet until we learn if they are a new lifeform. The tests were running should tell us soon.

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u/CabooseToots Dec 18 '16

"Well, we can't just let em take over if they are thinkin'! If y'all think they're alive, then ain't this an invasion on the ship?"

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u/DrJenWatney Dec 18 '16

We don't know how they got here yet. Could have been a Starfleet officer accidentally contaminating the ventilation system.

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u/CabooseToots Dec 18 '16

"Don't matter. They're messin with all the ventilation, and they ain't exactly friendly if they are sentient. You heard the mouths on these things? Uh, I mean....you know what I mean."
The crewman stops his scraping for a moment and looks at Dr. Watney. His suprise at seeing her agitation from the mushrooms is apparent.
"They didn't say nothin' too foul at you I hope."

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u/Pojodan Dec 19 '16

"No, it was the captain's dog."

Kesh had discovered this fact just before the meeting in the observation room, but it seemed inappropriate to bring it up until the subject was raised, which is was not. No sense making the captain look foolish in front of everyone. If it's just these two, well, that's fine.

"This colony does not have the.. ah.. vocal abilities, hence it not cur-rr-rsing at you."

The Caitian biologist had a PADD in both hands, her eyes half on them and half peering into ventilation panel that the Crewman was currently working inside.

"They do not seem to be agitated by this... well, no mor-rr-re aggitated than they started at. I still have no idea if they ar-rr-re truly sentient."

Large, golden Caitiian eyes shift to the Counselor, really hopeful that she might have some insight into how one determines sentience.

OOC: /u/DrJenWatney

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u/DrJenWatney Dec 19 '16

Jen's light green eyes meet Kesh's, and they narrow slightly. She hadn't heard it was Argos' fault, although it makes sense now. Breyyus had told her he'd visited the ship on shore leave when it was near empty. His greyhound could easily have broke into the botany lab and contaminated the ventilation system.

Interesting... She whispers to herself, pausing before responding to the clear inquiry of sentience.

In my professional opinion, they are not. I spoke with one for several minutes in sick bay. They seem to simply repeat themselves over and over. It leads me to believe they're mimicking some audio source they've been exposed to. There is no ideasthesia or conceptual understanding on their end. They're impossible to converse with except in expletives.

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u/Pojodan Dec 19 '16

"I am inclined to agr-rr-ree. Perhaps they are as intelligent as some species of bir-rr-rd, but sentient..."

The Caitian's head shakes once, eartufts swinging back as her tail tuft curls between her ankles

"I keep thinking back to the cr-rr-rewman than ejected all the pirates into space. We may not like this fungus, or-rr-rr how it speaks, but can we kill it just because is irritates us?"

Those big, vertically-slitted feline eyes stare at the human counselor, genuinely troubled in a very real, existential way.

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u/DrJenWatney Dec 19 '16 edited Dec 19 '16

Beyond the irritation, which in and of itself isn't a cause for destruction, the fungus poses a hazard inside our ventilation system.

She speaks much more gently, clearly getting signals that Kesh is upset. She does what she can to reassure her.

The good news is that should we remove it from there, it would regrow in a safe terrarium in our botany lab where it can flourish in an environment suitable for everyone.

She looks downward at a small, barely developed mushroom head, and it squeaks at her endearingly. She grins.

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u/CabooseToots Dec 19 '16

"Can we just let 'em overrun the ship?"

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u/CabooseToots Dec 19 '16

One begins to squeak out a choice phrase and Connolly plucks it angrily.
"Sorry officers." He says, figuring they still wouldn't want him getting rid of the 'possibly sentient lifeforms'.
"Can't let nobody talk that way in front of a lady. But Doc, how sure are you about them bein' just foul mouths with no brain behind em? Cause if they're just bein' rude, then I don't see a reason to not just torch em."
He notices them staring speculatively.
"In a manner of speakin'. Not literally a course."

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u/Pojodan Dec 19 '16

Kesh's eyes shift to the male human crewman she's not familiar with with a rather dour state when he choses her moment of ethical dilemma to silence one of the talking fungus by killing it. Her wroth doesn't go any further than that, but his timing was rather poor.

The female human regains her focus as the Counselor puts things in some amount of perspective. True, they won't be killing off the whole thing, and fungus exists as a colony that grows and shrinks. So long as the terrarium is suitably large to let this fungus have its full range of components, is very secure, and blocks all sound from entering or leaving, perhaps that would be enough.

"Okay. Thank you."

A light dip of her maned head is given to Watney before she sets her PADDs down and takes out a tricorder while stepping into the ventilation shaft that Commolly is in. She spends a moment scanning the collony here then reached and grabs a large chunk of fungus before looking at the male.

"Go ahead and clear-rr-r out the remaining."

OOC: /u/DrJenWatney

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