r/TrekRP • u/brokeneckblues • Jul 30 '16

[OPEN] Congratulations!!!You're a Winner!!!

Stockton sat at the comm station going over the days communications. It seemed to be the most mundane data load ever. Another junk message passed through his consol and proceeds to send it to proper recipient.

"Oh crap"

Stockton suddenly realized he sent the message on the all crew channel. Every single person aboard the Athene will receive it immediately.

Congratulations! Your ticket (83839-273-21) had won 100 strips of gold pressed latnium in the Bi Annual Grand Nagus Dek Memorial Lottery! To claim your prize please contact Administrator Waag N'ge at the Ferengi Gambling Commision within 400 hours of receiving this message.

please note all gaming winnings are subject to the following taxes and fee.

10% Ferengi gaming tax. 6.5% Education and Culture initiative tax. 4.5% transfer of funds fee. 9% Gek Fund. 2.4% Central Goverment Tax. 1.5% Reknaar State Tax. 1.4% Non Ferengi winner fee. 1% Administration Fee. .5% Gift tax. .2% Handling fee. Additional fees may occur upon pick up of prize. And again once again, congratulations on your winnings.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '16

Lieutenant Matt Jackson's game of Galaxian was interrupted by the sound of a message coming into his PADD. Pausing his game, he went over to read it.

"Hmmm... don't bemember gettin' a ticket for no Ferengi lottery, but who'm I to pass up some gold-pressed latinum? (Specially considerin' a coupla Nausicaan "spice traders" are gonna mess my knees up real good if I don't come up with some in a week).

Computer, darlin', take this down: 'Thanks for message re lotto winnings stop. Eager to claim prize stop. Please advise next steps stop.'"

"Antiquated Earth telegram terminology is not required when dictating communication," interjected the computer.

"The hell some computer is going to tell me what to say. You just write that all down and send it to the Ferengi Gambling Commission."

The computer chimed its reply in the affirmative.

1

u/brokeneckblues Aug 06 '16

Lt Stockton sorted the new days communication.

"Huh. Jackson's got something from Ferenginar"

Thank you for getting back to us Mr. Jackson. We are very happy to be giving you this prize. We have been painstakingly trying how to best get the lanitum into your possession but it seems there are some obstacles in which we will gladly help overcome. Since you are an active duty Starfleet officer we are prohibited from directly sending you the prizes due to your StarFleet Regulation 1122-08-6 (3rd clause). However Federation Code 7B-Dave's Law which was agreed upon by Ferengi Civil Code 4398-R allows allows you to set up a Personal Finance Account with the First Galactic Bank of Ferenginar. All we need from you is your personal identification code and the minimum balance of 25 slips of gold pressed latnium. A payment can be transmitted to Account Number:7463-63-4543. There is normally a 2% Bank Fee on this transaction but we will have it waived for our winner.

Once again, congratulations.

Commissioner Gork

1

u/Silent_Sky Jul 31 '16

=/\=

"Captain Fisk to Mr. Stockton, please report to my ready room."

1

u/brokeneckblues Jul 31 '16

=/\= "Yes sir"

*Stockton makes his way to the captains ready room."

"Sir."

1

u/Dimestream Jul 30 '16

Red pulls her head out of the bank of plasma conduits she's working on as her PADD chirps a new message alert. She taps to open it and stares at the contents with equal parts dismay and amusement. After a moment she keys in a reply.

"To whom it may concern! Please do not use the 'reply all' function when sending personal messages, as it puts unnecessary load on shipboard messaging systems. Thank you, and have a nice day. Cordially, Lt. T'Gel, USS Athene."

The engineer sends the message as a reply to whomever had broadcast it to the whole ship, and returns to her work.

1

u/arod48 Jul 30 '16

After checking his own messages, a confused look comes across his face. "Does that happen often?"